May 22, 2013
The Iranian Navy says it saved an American ship from pirates, all ‘Unhand that frigate, villeins! What ho, tea, chappie, lorries, Madge, the sun never sets on the British Empire,’ or something, whatever, arrrr. So now we can all be best friends forever! Yay Iran! Yay us! An Iranian warship responded to a distress signal [...]
Shocking new photographs from Barack Obama’s African Past reveal that he was actually a Somali pirate in Hawaii during his youth, the feared “Child Scallywag of Honolulu.” Here, pictured with Liz Phair in the early 1990s, the dread pirate O’bamar prepares to raid a British crown colony of landlubbers and then head off to the [...]
It was bad enough when the Messicans came across the border to steal our economy and manufacturing (migrant farming) jobs. But now they have turned into Horrifying PIRATES who ride around on JET SKIS killing Americans for no reason at all. This is according to Fox News, who had some dead guy’s wife on Fox [...]
The Iraq War might be over, but the War Against Pirates continues, thank goodness: U.S. Marine commandos stormed a pirate-held cargo vessel off the Somalia coast Thursday, reclaiming control of the ship and taking nine prisoners without firing a shot, the U.S. Navy said. The Navy declined to give specific tactics used in the pre-dawn [...]
Workers are excavating the World Trade Center site (Not done yet? What is this, union labor?), and on Tuesday, they found a giant 18th-century ship stuck in there. How? Well, back then terrorists were called “pirates.” (Evil liberal Hollywood has made empathize with pirates, but they were TERRORISTS OF THE SEAS.) And these pirates hated [...]
While all you libtards were just drunkenly having sex last November to create the new army of Kenyan Obama Babies to be born fully formed in His Image this summer, important conservative academics at our nation’s better think tanks were boldly thinking about ways to kill African Sea Pirates with laser weapons. [Heritage.org via Alex [...]
While we do not condone presidential participation in the idiot follies of the White House Correspondents Association Dinner, which should end each year with the detonation of a dozen limo bombs, we have not run any photos this year of the president having diplomatic talks with a comical pirate, so here it is. [Pete Souza/White [...]
Impossibly enough, this post isn’t about teabag protests but is about Ron Paul. That’s right, you guessed it, it is instead about whether Congress should distribute “letters of marque and reprisal” to stop pirates and stuff. This is one of those old-timey things that, to people in 1789, was a pretty clutch inclusion in the [...]
Yesterday Jonah Goldberg committed the surf ‘n’ turf of Republican sins: (1) he posted something on The Corner on Easter Sunday, so Jesus will probably have to kill him, and (2) what he posted was praise for Barack Obama, the noted communist! Now he is being attacked by some readers and more importantly Rush Limbaugh, [...]
Over Easter weekend while the rest of America was busy gaining 10 pounds eating ham and Peeps, President Obama occupied himself authorizing military action that left three Somali pirates dead and one kidnapped American captain alive. This feat of daring means that nobody can call Obama a pussy anymore.
This American president, he has fleets of destroyers and an army of fearsome AT-AT walkers at his disposal and still he cannot contend with a very organized band of Africans trolling the waters off the Somalian coast. What gives, Obama? Why do you love pirates so much?
Once upon a time when people played poker and they came across somebody who lost very large and predictable amounts at the table, other players would say, “I’d like to get you on a slow boat to China,” so that this loser could continue to shed large amounts of cash for a long period of [...]
By the Comics Curmudgeon Say, have you heard that all boundaries between high and low art have been blurred? It’s true, supposedly! That’s why comic books written for socially maladjusted children are now being turned into critic-friendly movies, and famous paintings are being transformed into dopey kitsch. Is there any kind of art that it’s [...]
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