pirates
Iran’s Navy Saves American Ship From Pirates, We Are All Best Friends Now Hooray!
The Iranian Navy says it saved an American ship from pirates, all ‘Unhand that frigate, villeins! What ho, tea, chappie, lorries, Madge, the sun never sets on the British Empire,’ or something, whatever, arrrr. So now we can all be best friends forever! Yay Iran! Yay us! An Iranian warship responded to a distress signal [...]
Fox News: Jet Ski Pirate Mexicans Are Murdering Americans
It was bad enough when the Messicans came across the border to steal our economy and manufacturing (migrant farming) jobs. But now they have turned into Horrifying PIRATES who ride around on JET SKIS killing Americans for no reason at all. This is according to Fox News, who had some dead guy’s wife on Fox [...]
US Marines Surprise Somali Pirates, Just Like In First Barbary War
The Iraq War might be over, but the War Against Pirates continues, thank goodness: U.S. Marine commandos stormed a pirate-held cargo vessel off the Somalia coast Thursday, reclaiming control of the ship and taking nine prisoners without firing a shot, the U.S. Navy said. The Navy declined to give specific tactics used in the pre-dawn [...]
Terrorist Ship That Was Rammed Into Ye Olde Worlde Trade Centre Discovered
Workers are excavating the World Trade Center site (Not done yet? What is this, union labor?), and on Tuesday, they found a giant 18th-century ship stuck in there. How? Well, back then terrorists were called “pirates.” (Evil liberal Hollywood has made empathize with pirates, but they were TERRORISTS OF THE SEAS.) And these pirates hated [...]
Wingnut Think Tank Proposes Laser Attack On Sea Pirates
While all you libtards were just drunkenly having sex last November to create the new army of Kenyan Obama Babies to be born fully formed in His Image this summer, important conservative academics at our nation’s better think tanks were boldly thinking about ways to kill African Sea Pirates with laser weapons. [Heritage.org via Alex [...]
Ron Paul Wants Return To Comical Olde European High Seas Policy
Impossibly enough, this post isn’t about teabag protests but is about Ron Paul. That’s right, you guessed it, it is instead about whether Congress should distribute “letters of marque and reprisal” to stop pirates and stuff. This is one of those old-timey things that, to people in 1789, was a pretty clutch inclusion in the [...]
Mike Murphy On Slow Boat To China
Once upon a time when people played poker and they came across somebody who lost very large and predictable amounts at the table, other players would say, “I’d like to get you on a slow boat to China,” so that this loser could continue to shed large amounts of cash for a long period of [...]
High Art, Low Art
By the Comics Curmudgeon Say, have you heard that all boundaries between high and low art have been blurred? It’s true, supposedly! That’s why comic books written for socially maladjusted children are now being turned into critic-friendly movies, and famous paintings are being transformed into dopey kitsch. Is there any kind of art that it’s [...]
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