pills
George Zimmerman’s View To A Pill
When Trayvon Martin was killed, it looked really bad for George Zimmerman until it was discovered that he was fighting the savage effects of a marijuana-fueled person of color. Little did Zimmerman know that the young man he was chasing was seeking weedemption for all of his terrorist pot smoking members who belong to a [...]
Surgeon General: ‘Appropriate’ To Buy Radiation Pills, If You Can Find Any
So, this is going badly: “Fire breaks out again at Fukushima’s No. 4 reactor.” That’s a new fire. And U.S. surgeon general Regina Benjamin is in the San Francisco Bay Area, telling the teevee news cameras that it’s maybe a good idea to get those Potassium Iodide tablets … which are sold out everywhere. “Oh [...]
Michael Steele Ready For First RNC Hip-Hop Poetry Slam Battle
Self-proclaimed “street guy” who also is “chairman of a country club political party” Michael Steele is expected to say all sorts of preposterous things during the first RNC spoken word debate this evening. And Michael is already mowing down the competition: Bunk-ass hater Gentry Collins, a former RNC political director best known for writing a [...]
Pharmaceutical Performance Art On Display In Union Station Today
Well, this is nifty! Consumer Reports performs a valuable service for you, the consumer, by putting giant phalluses through the rigors of a public cardiac stress test in Washington’s own Union Station. No wait, them there is pills, demonstrating how a scientist in the future might compare the effectiveness of different drugs. Note the eye [...]
Peggy Noonan Is Out Of Pills!
Thursday, early evening. She turns the key to her Dungeon of Medicines, an isolated pod floating atop the highest vistas of Park Avenue. It is constructed of the finest Metals and can only be reached by rickshaw. Even after all these years, the scent of myrrh lingers. A glass of scotch is poured and she [...]
Cindy Needs A Fix Like You Wouldn’t Believe
Thank you to reliable Wonkette Philly operative “D-mac” for sending us this image from the front page of philly.com earlier today. Ha, the “National Label Company,” WHAT? Whatever it is, they make drugs, orange drugs, and Cindy just starts feeling that itch all over her body.
Enjoy Your Outsourced Bloody Beer Money, Cougar!
Presidential trophy wife Cindy McCain, who already has 20 or 30 million bucks, is going to get another million — from the sale of an American corporation! Cindy’s fortune comes from her inherited beer distribution business, of which Anheuser-Busch is a major client. Now that Anheuser-Busch is being sold to hippie Belgian giant InBev NV, [...]
Cindy McCain: You’ll Never Get My Money, Losers!
WALNUTS! To Take European Vacation, For Peace
Patrick Kennedy: Drinking or Pill-Popping?
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