Coward McCain Will (Maybe?) Show Up Tonight, So Here’s Your Debate Drinking Game!
Friday, September 26th, 2008
Whew, that was close. Goofy old national joke John “Walnuts!” McCain had threatened to skip tonight’s debate unless he, uh, solved the Financial Crisis. Luckily for us, the 500-year-old clown can’t “keep his word” for more than a few minutes, so of course he’ll be at the debate tonight, unless he changes his mind again, which happens often when you can’t remember what you just said and have no idea what you’re talking about, anyway. So, huzzah, we will get to drink on a Friday night after all! Get out your iPhone or whatever and make a shopping list, because it’s time for Wonkette’s Famous Debate Drinking Game! MORE »
Whew, that was close. Goofy old national joke John “Walnuts!” McCain had threatened to skip tonight’s debate unless he, uh, solved the Financial Crisis. Luckily for us, the 500-year-old clown can’t “keep his word” for more than a few minutes, so of course he’ll be at the debate tonight, unless he changes his mind again, which happens often when you can’t remember what you just said and have no idea what you’re talking about, anyway. So, huzzah, we will get to drink on a Friday night after all! Get out your iPhone or whatever and make a shopping list, because it’s time for Wonkette’s Famous Debate Drinking Game! MORE »









Thank you to reliable Wonkette Philly operative
Presidential trophy wife Cindy McCain, who already has 20 or 30 million bucks, is going to get another million — from the sale of an American corporation! Cindy’s fortune comes from her inherited beer distribution business, of which Anheuser-Busch is a major client. Now that Anheuser-Busch is being sold to hippie Belgian giant InBev NV, Cindy will most likely pull in $1 million from the buyout and be able to keep her business connection. This should fund at least 20 of her famous Pills ‘n’ Pools parties (for journalists) in Sedona. [
Now that “Pennsylvania is the new Iowa,” and the Democratic party is dead-set on making everyone hate politics even more, John McCain is going to pretend to be a senator again! Has he already forgotten that he is running for president? Or maybe he thought he never left the Mexican Hanoi Hilton where he was tortured as a baby during the Spanish Civil War? All of these things are true, and this is why he now plans on taking a 10-day “congressional delegation” trip to socialist Europe and communist Middle East.
Representative Kennedy was, according to his own statement, hopped up on goofballs at the time of his early-morning car wreck yesterday. The ol’ Ambien defense, ya see. Which we believe is the same excuse used by John Kerry to justify his vote for the war resolution. But the Boston Herald might’ve hurt that alibi a bit: