There were a LOT of things happening on our National Mall this weekend, most of which involved masses of people erratically circling trees or hot dog stands or monuments, pausing briefly to bump into you, and then moving on to annoy someone else. As frustrating as it was trying to beat even a moderately direct path through this nonsense, it was kind of worth it to see a bunch of weird hipsters whip out their pillows and start pummeling each other. MORE »

In a startling case of life imitating Blingee, several characters marched straight out of Wonkette’s most recent photo contest and onto the streets of Georgetown last night. The fully furred Chewbacca and, uh, we actually aren’t sure what that other one is, explained to your intern that they were dressed up for a birthday party. MORE »

Reason.tv threw itself a party this weekend to watch “Bailouts, Big Spending, & Bull,” a 20/20 documentary based on Drew Carey’s video collaborations with Reason.tv — and your Wonkette was invited. It was filled with illegal drugs and piles of cash flung about with abandon, and the party was pretty fun too! Party CRASH! pictures from two of your Wonkabout slaves, after the jump. MORE »

The last anyone heard from Harold Ickes, he was bravely casting aside logic to claim that Hillary Clinton should still win the primaries, for White America.  But unlike other washed-up politicos who spend their retirement in rural red states or simply Jail, Ickes is still toodling around Washington. We went to see him! MORE »

Valentine’s Day can be a somber affair for some, but the kind folks responsible for Future Times at Dahlak on Saturday made it their job to equitably distribute the love to all who attended. Exciting pictorial fun, after the jump. MORE »

Were you unable to afford a gift for your special someone in honor of that other holiday today, Valentine’s Day? With all the new stimulus money suddenly bouncing around, the lack of funds is no longer a viable cover for forgetfulness. Luckily, DC’s street vendors are more than happy to help. You can pick up your last-minute roses, pink bears, and, um, Obama pins outside any metro stop, all day! MORE »

The war on terror is over, and America won! Here is proof, in the form of a rusty emergency box directly outside the Longworth House Office Building on Capitol Hill. If any homeland security threats remained, this box would surely be unblemished, maybe even operational! MORE »

Only a couple of years after publication of the definitive closet-gay child’s escapist fantasy, Why Mommy Is a Democrat, some dingus has finally self-published the appropriate wartime response, Why Daddy Is A Republican. Because Daddy is John McCain? Oh, wrong children’s propaganda book. MORE »

SEND IN YR POLITICAL HALLOWEEN PHOTOS: Hey losers, do you want to be famous or are you just losers? Send in as many fun “politically themed” Halloween costume photos from yr office parties and whatnot ASAP and we will post them, if they are funny. That is Barack Obama as a pirate, last Halloween.

French “first lady” Carla Bruni made her living by being photographed partially or completely naked for 20 years, so nude photographs of the supermodel/singer are extremely rare. There are only 32,800 such images currently available for free on the Internets, which is why lonely old Englishmen are expected to bid up to £2,000 ($1 billion U.S.) for this old picture of Naked Carla Bruni, which also appears in the Telegraph article about the auction. Christie’s will next auction an exclusive image of “LOLcats” for £100 Zillion. [Telegraph]

The infamous Room 871 in D.C.’s fancy Mayflower Hotel has been expunged from the nation’s memory. Where once we might have witnessed the tender love shenanigans of sweet Jersey girl and a space muppet by the name of Eliot Spitzer, we now find just a door without a room number. Who is responsible for this outrage? MORE »