Tag: phyllis schlafly

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God Spares Phyllis Schlafly Sight Of First Woman President

Phyllis Schlafly is up in heaven now, telling all the lady angels to get back in the kitchen.

Wonkagenda: Tuesday, September 6, 2016

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Screw you, huddled masses.

Phyllis Schlafly To Louisiana Flood Victims: Speak English Or Go F*ck Yourself

Phyllis Schalfly knows what the real scandal of the Louisiana floods is: The government's providing help to people who no speako English, encouraging them to avoid assimilating.
that's the devil in your pants

Let’s Have Dumb Old Kirk Cameron Tell Us How To Romance Our Christian Wives

Let's get one thing out of the way: Kirk Cameron is cute. This is why it such a screaming shame he fell in with the wrong crowd and became a creationist dickweasel fundamentalist Christian. And he dragged his dumb...
Shoulda gone with Prince

Phyllis Schlafly Says Michele Bachmann Too Stupid To Be New Phyllis Schlafly

Conservative All-Mother Phyllis Schlafly (yes, she's still alive, stop being so surprised!) revealed Wednesday in an interview with Alex Jones that, in the continuing mishegas over control of the Eagle Forum, the rightwing group she founded, she once considered...
You guys have any submissions for a new COTW logo?

Comment Of The Week: Wonkette Gets BURNT By Subject Of Wonkette Story, Matthew Keys!

a href="http://wonkette.com/600660/matthew-keys-totally-going-to-prison-for-loaning-someone-his-password-to-hbogo"We have a Special Celebrity Guest Comment of the Week this week, from the very person who we wrote about right here at Yr Wonkette! Thursday, we ran a story about Matthew Keys, a jerkbaby who was convicted...
Kicked out by her own family? Now she has even more in common with Fred Phelps

Phyllis Schlafly Fears Forbidden Love For Trump Will Tear Her Awful Family Apart

a href="http://wonkette.com/599620/meet-the-fourth-mrs-trump-america"Poor Phyllis Schlafly. In an interview published at rightwing conspiracy clearinghouse WND Monday, she worries she's about to be voted out of her presidency of the Eagle Forum, the rightwing family values group she founded, simply because she's...

Meet The Fourth Mrs. Trump, America!

Mister Donald J. Trump got a Very Important Endorsement yesterday, and it was from Phyllis Schlafly! He is very proud to have received her endorsement because everyone knows she should be slobbing the Canadian knob of one Senator Ted...
The Yoogest Story Ever Told

Southern Baptist Leader Calls Donald Trump Filthy Slutty Gambling Glutton Whore

Oh bother! The evangelicals are getting itchy in their Underoos again, what with the cognitive dissonance of Donald Trump -- who does all the seven deadly sins before breakfast, including the one about wanting to fuck his daughter -- being the frontrunner for...

Donald Trump Terrific At Saying Classiest Bible Verses Almost Perfectly

As per the ancient Martin Luther King Day tradition -- no, not the one where Republicans Tweeterspace about how they woulda been total brahs with Dr. King if they were borneded when he was alive -- Donald J. Trump has...
If this was REAL Bible sex advice, it would be about how Lot's daughters drugged and sexed their dad.

How To Sex Your Boner-Killer Hag Of A Wife: A Christian Wonksplainer

Hey, fundamentalist Christian Wonkers, how are you doing? Do you exist? If so, TODAY IS YOUR LUCKY DAY. Instead of writing liberal godlessness at you, we have a nice story about what to do when your Christian wife is...
BYE YOU DUGGAR-LOVIN' MOTHERFUCKER

Looks Like Mike Huckabee And The Duggars Are Still Totally Gay For Each Other

Is Mike Huckabee sharing his award-winning Hucka-diddles with the Duggar family again? (He never stopped.) Are Jim Bob, Michelle and the child-fruits of their incessant barebacking, including their handsy firstborn, no longer completely toxic to a presidential run? Or...
Vatican expert

Mike Huckabee Furious With Gay Liberals Who Run Roman Catholic Church

Did you know that Pope Francis is secretly a cousin-fucking hillbilly Mike Huckabee/Kim Davis supporter? It's true! (According to Mike Huckabee.) And did you know that the pope is being prevented from telling THE REAL TRUTH about how he...
Still up on that cross.

Kentucky Governor To Kim Davis: Your Dumb Lawsuit Is Bad, And You Should Feel Bad

Kentucky clerk Kim Davis has had a busy few weeks! She spent some time in the slammer for refusing to do her job. She got to snuggle inside Mike Huckabee's armpits. She cried on the TV to Megyn Kelly about...
Values Voters arriving.

It’s The Values Voter Summit! Has Grindr Crashed Yet?

Hooray, the Values Voter Summit started Friday morning in Washington ... and you're late! Haha, just kidding, it's never too late to go to a sausage party full of sad, closeted dicks. We woulda been ALL OVER THIS SHIT...