Tag Archives: photos

  We Have Met The Emesis And He Is Us

Stupidest Men On The Internet Just Vomiting Ebola Errrewhere

Hey, it's not ponies...
Stupidest Man in the World Jim Hoft and Stupidest Guest-Blogger in the World Kristinn Taylor have done their part to help Americans concerned about the Texas Ebola case. They cut right through all the facts and medical information out there, and get straight to the screaming fits of panic we’ve all been longing for. On Wednesday, Hoft posted this headline, designed to clearly and calmly inform his readers of the simple facts: “BREAKING>>> Dallas Ebola Patient VOMITED WILDLY Outside Apartment On Way to Hospital.” And then, Thursday, Hoft ran a Taylor story that set some new records for sheer dishonest bullshittery: “What Quarantine?… Photos Show MEN CLEANING TX EBOLA VOMIT Without SUITS!” Read more on Stupidest Men On The Internet Just Vomiting Ebola Errrewhere…
  Birthers: The Next Generation

New Wingnut Theory (Or ‘Satire’?): Michelle Obama Never Birthed No Babies

Since this photo doesn't exist, maybe YOU DON'T EITHER! Whoa, we are all Philip K Dick today!
From the ugly world of Facebook, we received a recommendation to check out this story: “Evidence Emerges That Michelle Obama Never Birthed Malia And Sasha,” at something called “The U.S. Patriot,” whose “About” page assures us that they are “home to the best Conservative news on the internet.” Let’s see what this important story has to say! Read more on New Wingnut Theory (Or ‘Satire’?): Michelle Obama Never Birthed No Babies…
  Be More Afraid Please

Evil Stupid Dick Explains Why Michael Brown Deserved To Die

He's a GANGSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey, everybody, just stop feeling bad about the police in Ferguson, Missouri, shooting unarmed 18-year-old Michael Brown dead while he had his hands up — Jim Hoft, the Stupidest Man On the Internet, wants you all to know that it’s no big loss, since Michael Brown was a 100% certified GANGSTER who HAD A GUN (maybe, in a Facebook photo of a completely different person — give him time, and Hoft will probably start hinting that Brown had a gun when he was shot, too). While the photo above has been in circulation since shortly after Brown was shot, Our Stupid Hero appears to be the first to jump from “photographed gesturing like a rap gangster” to “was a GANGSTER.” Hoft has since backed off that original headline, of which Chris Johnson at Little Green Footballs wisely archived a copy at Webcitation in case Hoft “tries to edit it without admitting it.” Which Hoft did, of course. Read more on Evil Stupid Dick Explains Why Michael Brown Deserved To Die…
  all the derp that's fit to herp

Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Dredge Of Drips, Dreck, And Drudge

Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we bring you stories that didn’t quite merit a post of their own, but that were too stupid to ignore altogether. As always, you may want to fortify yourself with whatever you believe necessary to get through the experience — we suggest a couple of pan-galactic gargleblasters. Read more on Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Dredge Of Drips, Dreck, And Drudge…
  a southern man don't need us around anyhow

Deleted Comments Of The Day: The ‘League Of The South’ May Never Love Us, We Fear

We will give the Angry Southerners of the Neo-Confederate “League of the South” credit for this much: They are persistent! As we mentioned in our last Deleted Comments Roundup, they were not pleased at all with our coverage of their upcoming protest against being genocided to death by the Federal Gummint. They took particular umbrage at the photograph which illustrated the article, because it was not an actual photograph of a League of the South protest. We acknowledged this last time, but they are still butthurt; “Pat Hines,” who warned last time that “Southrons aren’t going to permit you Yankee Empire thugs to replace us in our own lands,” is back in the comment queue with some words about that terrible picture: The photograph at the top of this blog post isn’t of the League of the South, I don’t know who it is, but it’s not our people. Just as a guess, it’s a group of college boys at some sort of rally before a football game about 20 years ago. If you want a post from our last demonstration, if you’re honorable you’ll post a new image, go here. And so, because we are honorable, here is an actual, unmodified representation of the League of the South, taken directly from the URL in “Pat Hines’s” message: Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Day: The ‘League Of The South’ May Never Love Us, We Fear…
  Wonkette: 20% Nicer Today!

A Children’s Treasury Of Old Handsome Joe Biden Inauguration-Day Greatness, God Love Him

Here is a photo of Joe Biden getting out of his limousine, looking like a Boss (in point of fact, he is only the boss of the Senate). Sunglasses are a very good look for the VP, whose official Wonkette title is now Old Handsome Joe Biden, God Love Him. (By the end of his second term, Mr. Biden’s official Wonkette sobriquet will probably be as long as that of some WWII German rocket-launching tank thing.) And so, with minimal extraneous commentary, here is your gallery of Joe Biden Being Just So Freakin’ Joe Biden. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Old Handsome Joe Biden Inauguration-Day Greatness, God Love Him…
  ken lay is rolling in his grave

A Children’s Treasury of Occupy Wall Street Photographs

#gallery-2 { margin: auto; } #gallery-2 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 33%; } #gallery-2 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-2 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */ Our freedom-fighting Wonkette operative KenLayIsAlive has been part of the Occupy Wall Street occupation since it began. Here’s a batch of his recent photos. Thank you, KenLayIsAlive!
  opposite of 9/11 day

Photos: America Pounds Beers In Celebration At Ground Zero

Last night, Americans heard the news about Osama bin Laden and flocked to the site where the World Trade Center once stood. And they arrived on this hallowed ground, they held up signs, tried to get themselves on teevee, and yelled celebratory chants, including “SEND THEM HOME.” But most of all, these people got drunk. And some of them also smoked marijuana. And then Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell opponent Lt. Dan Choi showed up for some reason. Uh, okay! We were there and took some photos of the celebration. Read more on Photos: America Pounds Beers In Celebration At Ground Zero…
  the great pumpkin

Drunk Carl Paladino Jumps In Your Halloween Photos

Who is this mysterious man next to the guy with the shoe-polish face? No, it is not a “good Carl Paladino costume,” it is the man himself, doing what every candidate should do mere hours before his gubernatorial election: get drunk at the local bar and grope some young women in “sexy Mrs. Buttersworth” costumes. So if you live in the Buffalo area, Paladino likely photobombed all of your Facebook pics from last night. But that’s okay, because it turns out he has some very good drunk faces that will enliven any Halloween photo. Read more on Drunk Carl Paladino Jumps In Your Halloween Photos…
  the three that are still alive

Don’t Worry, The Oil Spill Response Team Will Clean All Those Pretty Oil Birds

If you are massive loser, you may not be aware of the hottest new Internet sensation, DEEPWATER HORIZON RESPONSE: THE OFFICIAL SITE OF THE DEEPWATER HORIZON UNIFIED COMMAND, maintained by the DEEPWATER HORIZON INCIDENT JOINT INFORMATION CENTER (JIC), which is also on the Twitter (ha ha: “What is happening to oil, someone asks — 34 minutes ago via TweetDeck”). The JIC is the collaborative effort of the various failed federal agencies and corporations who want you to know that they care. Here is a nice, fluffy press release showing America that the caring JIC will wash the oil off of all those cute (living) birds down there, like this pelican. Heroes, all! What advanced chemical agents are they using to rid this pelican of the horrible, horrible crude oil it has been covered in and drinking all the time? Read more on Don’t Worry, The Oil Spill Response Team Will Clean All Those Pretty Oil Birds…
  original photography

Look: Someone Scraped This Great Metaphor Off The Side Of The Road!

Oh, my god. “Melissa H.”, please hunt, shoot and kill some context:  “My Aunt forwarded me this AM. She is a Republican, but not a hunter, so I am assuming she worries that deer can get in to see a doctor under the public option. This is from the coal region in Pennsylvania, a county that did not go for Obama, but the end table looks like it is from IKEA, so I could be wrong.” Read more on Look: Someone Scraped This Great Metaphor Off The Side Of The Road!…
  photo ops

‘Capture The Night’ With a Photo From a CVS Parking Lot

On the corner of 7th St. NW and Florida Ave. NW, in the parking lot of the CVS, there is a makeshift photo booth where you can get your photo taken against the backdrop of a Cadillac, a grandiose staircase, Outer Space or a bottle of Ciroc vodka. Your Wonkette wasn’t going to take a photo, but then a gay couple said that she “had” to, because “this is gangster,” and gave her $10 to take one. Read more on ‘Capture The Night’ With a Photo From a CVS Parking Lot…
  inauguration nation

Sexy Obama Inauguration Pix From Times Square

Hey America! Those of you without the “luck” to be in Washington D.C. freezing your balls off while the new president was sworn in still had the wonderful opportunity to freeze your balls off someplace else instead while watching the exact same thing! For example, many people in New York City who could have hung out in warm places, like BARS, instead decided to go to Times Square and stand cheek by jowl with 1.5 billion of their fellow citizens watching the guy on the Jumbotron stuttering through his oath of office. Read more on Sexy Obama Inauguration Pix From Times Square…
  all blaggy all the time

Blagojevich Released Into Filthy City Of Rats, Chicago

Wonkette political symbolism operative “Nicole” informs us of this photograph from the liberal New York Times depicting Blaggy, dressed to the nines, leaving prison after his best friend Barack Obama posted bail. We have a hunch that the very artistic NYT photographer was “going for something” by including this haunting poster of a common Chicago street rat in the foreground. It is a true fact that these posters are on every wall and telephone wire pole in Chicago, near the actual rats. [NYT] Read more on Blagojevich Released Into Filthy City Of Rats, Chicago…
  funny pictures

A Children’s Treasury Of Random Photos Of Sarah Palin Or The RNC

We’ve received hundreds of photos and Photoshops in the last few days about either Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin’s spawn, or comical people in the Twin Cities for the convention. Since your male associate editor rarely wakes before noon, he misses many of these, but he’ll try to post some of the better ones here. The above graphic, for example, is probably the best of the 20-30 different Juno knock-offs (or “knock-ups,” HAHAHA WHEE) currently killing time in our inbox. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Random Photos Of Sarah Palin Or The RNC…
 

Exclusive Photo Of John ‘WALNUTS!’ McCain!

Reader Mactastic scored a citizen-snapped photo of this charming geezer, writing, “He is either posing to appear younger than he is (fierce!) or his left eye is decomposing in its socket because he is the oldest man on earth and he has to squint to hold it in. Whatever the reason, he looks dumb in pictures and is therefore not good enough to be America’s Next Top Commander in Chief.” Read more on Exclusive Photo Of John ‘WALNUTS!’ McCain!…
 

Mayflower Hotel’s Room 871 Magically Disappears!

The infamous Room 871 in D.C.’s fancy Mayflower Hotel has been expunged from the nation’s memory. Where once we might have witnessed the tender love shenanigans of sweet Jersey girl and a space muppet by the name of Eliot Spitzer, we now find just a door without a room number. Who is responsible for this outrage? Read more on Mayflower Hotel’s Room 871 Magically Disappears!…
 

Team Party Crash: National Press Foundation Awards Dinner

The guy on the left is like 45 seconds away from a glassing. (Photo courtesy Liz Gorman) Last night found Wonkette dressed to kill at the Hilton Washington Hotel for the 23rd-annual National Press Foundation awards dinner, where we mingled with the ink-stained wretches (and their TV peers, who looked a bit more comfortable in formal wear) and pretended to be real-life journalists. For a recap of the night’s big name guests, speeches, and awardees, you’ll probably want to go here or here. For a bunch of pictures of journalists looking awkward, you’ve come to the right place! We snuck in Wonkette photographer Liz Gorman (without telling our host or getting her a ticket, natch) to capture Washington’s best, brightest, and most adept at scoring free dinners in their unnatural habitat. Full gallery and heavily embellished recollections after the jump! Read more on Team Party Crash: National Press Foundation Awards Dinner…