You didn’t think we’d forgotten the baseball post, did you? Never! Our full coverage of last week’s annual Roll Call Congressional Baseball Game was always destined to come on Sunday, because Sunday is a day for watching baseball after Church. This was always the plan. Always. Always time infinity. (Lies.) So let’s take a photo tour of Republicans vs. Democrats playing a sport, terribly, in their tights (YES, THAT MEANS JOE BARTON) at Nationals Stadium. Up top: escaped Uighurs from New Jersey sneak into the field! MORE »

We’ll just throw all of these pictures in and not bother with the one-liners this time, because this is Art and must be respected. Here are some important themes, motifs and keywords though: Star Wars, furries, whores, the boardwalk, YouTube Thomas Paine impersonator as Big Brother, French aristocracy, CNN, Osama, Obama, media saturation, Adolf Hitler, attractive hobos, homosexuals, racism, black people, vulgarity, cancer, testicles, death, sadness, misery, failure, and gonorrhea. MORE »

Before starting out on our latest miserable journey into this muddy Randian hell, may we just NOTE that we have noticed various folks on the Internet writing about how lame and trite certain blogs are for covering the Teabaggers only because of that silly sexual double entendre, which is now a dead joke. Indeed it is a dead joke! It’s been dead for weeks! (Although certain incidents do bring it new life every now and then.) But we would call them “Teabaggers” even without the sexual innuendo, because it is a hilarious movement based around tea bags, so yeah, “Teabaggers.” This is the Republican Party now! There is much more fuel to this thing than a simple sex joke that OMG old people don’t understand! Anyway… ha ha, testicles. Let’s look at some pictures of human testicles! MORE »

It is time. You must see what we have seen. There will be more, and they will be worse. This shitty, muddy, 500-person national protest with NO TEABAGS. Prepare to GO GALT. MORE »

Intrepid blog reporter David Weigel of the Washington Independent is so intent on getting himself murdered that he traveled all the way to Kentucky over the weekend for something called the “Knob Creek Machine Gun Shoot.” You must check out all of his photos, here, but we simply want to note the mixed feelings these fellows have toward Nazis. Basically they love the Nazis, because they are Neo-Nazis, but they also hate the Nazis because Obama is a Nazi. MORE »

Today at High Noon, the disciples of CNBC teevee ranter Rick Santelli held teabagging parties around the country. Apparently they did not pick up on the nonchalance in Santelli’s voice when he said, “we’re going to hold a… like a tea party or something because of this Obama, ha ha, weird.” Well, the biggest of these parties was in Washington, by the White House, and like 20 people took cabs from CPAC to stand around in poop hats and complain about fiat currency for a few minutes while Michelle Malkin filmed them in various pornographic poses. Major thank yous to poop operatives “Jamie” and “Ethan” for sending most of the photos below, as well as to intrepid D.C. blog reporter Dave Weigel, some of whose photos we have stolen. MORE »

It was not easy getting to this Inaugural Parade late in the day, yesterday, what with the monstrous piles of trash and dead bodies and fences seemingly blocking all pedestrian paths. But we did it for you, the dear reader, and stayed for like a whole five minutes before getting cold and running away forever. Click the clicky for pictures of warfare, orcs, Indians, and more black presidents. MORE »

One of two things happened to Washington D.C. this afternoon: (1) Obama’s friends the Muslims snuck in one of those dirty bombs they make all the time and blew it up around Constitution and 5th, raining toxic waste debris across a five-block radius so as to kill Christians (2) Tourists threw their shit all over the ground. Maybe there is a Third Way… but yeah, #2, kill them all. MORE »

From his cushy, all-seeing perch in the bucolic deserts of California, Wonkette editor Ken Layne forced your modest associate editor to walk into the HELLISH acid pool that is downtown Washington D.C. to take photos of Obama and whatever. (If you decide to do this later tonight, one piece of advice: when encountering tourists, punch them.) We did take several “good” photos, though, which will be revealed in a series of thematic posts. Hooray! At least one of these will be up in the near future, and then we are going into the microwave for a few hours, to thaw. Oh and yeah, this painting, it’s Obama and his black friends as cowboys. Almost bought it, pussied out.

So the absolute most worthless people on this rotten planet are liberals, filthy rat-sucking liberals, particularly limousine liberals from liberal Hollywood and their east coast enablers, the Non-Profit Outreach Directors. They get together for these Red Bull-fueled art parties on either coast a couple of times a year to literally masturbate to themselves. They have NO FOOD at their parties because they are all gay, and anorexic. We went to one of these parties last night, and just you wait for this blush of libtardation: “The MoveOn.org, SEIU, Obey Giant Manifest Hope DC Party.” It was actually pretty cool and we don’t mean any of the nasty things we just wrote. (But seriously, no food.) Sexy picture time! MORE »

As you all have read various times on this blog, Wonkette, we hosted an Inaugural Ball Friday to commemorate the first president, Barack Obama. Hundreds of people showed up just in time for the bathroom to break completely. Liz Glover even showed up to her party, eventually! No one was killed, but hey, we can’t have ALL the excitement. Now let’s check out some sexytime photos for you losers who didn’t fly in for this one night or were too cold to leave your houses. MORE »