• February 13, 2012

photo tours

There was no news this weekend. The only thing that happened was that a local trade association held its annual banquet, which, for some reason (shameless prostitution) the entire American media establishment had to attend. Jay Leno, also. And even your Wonkette was invited to a couple of parties, pre- and post-dinner, and we are [...]

Former/current/whatever Wonkette videographer Liz Glover joined your editor today for a jaunt to the grassy knoll that Congress’ south side overlooks, where today’s lingering health care protesters (the ones who hadn’t yet fucked off for the Sizzler) were staring up at the House of Representatives’ balcony to yell, chant, and sing against this bill that [...]

You didn’t think we’d forgotten the baseball post, did you? Never! Our full coverage of last week’s annual Roll Call Congressional Baseball Game was always destined to come on Sunday, because Sunday is a day for watching baseball after Church. This was always the plan. Always. Always time infinity. (Lies.) So let’s take a photo [...]

We’ll just throw all of these pictures in and not bother with the one-liners this time, because this is Art and must be respected. Here are some important themes, motifs and keywords though: Star Wars, furries, whores, the boardwalk, YouTube Thomas Paine impersonator as Big Brother, French aristocracy, CNN, Osama, Obama, media saturation, Adolf Hitler, [...]

Before starting out on our latest miserable journey into this muddy Randian hell, may we just NOTE that we have noticed various folks on the Internet writing about how lame and trite certain blogs are for covering the Teabaggers only because of that silly sexual double entendre, which is now a dead joke. Indeed it [...]

It is time. You must see what we have seen. There will be more, and they will be worse. This shitty, muddy, 500-person national protest with NO TEABAGS. Prepare to GO GALT.

Intrepid blog reporter David Weigel of the Washington Independent is so intent on getting himself murdered that he traveled all the way to Kentucky over the weekend for something called the “Knob Creek Machine Gun Shoot.” You must check out all of his photos, here, but we simply want to note the mixed feelings these [...]

Today at High Noon, the disciples of CNBC teevee ranter Rick Santelli held teabagging parties around the country. Apparently they did not pick up on the nonchalance in Santelli’s voice when he said, “we’re going to hold a… like a tea party or something because of this Obama, ha ha, weird.” Well, the biggest of [...]

It was not easy getting to this Inaugural Parade late in the day, yesterday, what with the monstrous piles of trash and dead bodies and fences seemingly blocking all pedestrian paths. But we did it for you, the dear reader, and stayed for like a whole five minutes before getting cold and running away forever. [...]

One of two things happened to Washington D.C. this afternoon: (1) Obama’s friends the Muslims snuck in one of those dirty bombs they make all the time and blew it up around Constitution and 5th, raining toxic waste debris across a five-block radius so as to kill Christians (2) Tourists threw their shit all over [...]

From his cushy, all-seeing perch in the bucolic deserts of California, Wonkette editor Ken Layne forced your modest associate editor to walk into the HELLISH acid pool that is downtown Washington D.C. to take photos of Obama and whatever. (If you decide to do this later tonight, one piece of advice: when encountering tourists, punch [...]

So the absolute most worthless people on this rotten planet are liberals, filthy rat-sucking liberals, particularly limousine liberals from liberal Hollywood and their east coast enablers, the Non-Profit Outreach Directors. They get together for these Red Bull-fueled art parties on either coast a couple of times a year to literally masturbate to themselves. They have [...]

As you all have read various times on this blog, Wonkette, we hosted an Inaugural Ball Friday to commemorate the first president, Barack Obama. Hundreds of people showed up just in time for the bathroom to break completely. Liz Glover even showed up to her party, eventually! No one was killed, but hey, we can’t [...]

Oh look it’s Carey Torrice, County Commissioner in Macomb County, Michigan! Some e-mail we just got, completely unrelated, tells us that Macomb County is a bellwether for the state. Important! And Carey Torrice, who recently won TMZ’s search for America’s hottest politician, pretty much runs it. And yet, despite having a hot piece of ass [...]

The right wing hasn’t been able to fully brand Obama as a GAY yet, as they did to John Kerry (Gay Trademark: being French) and Al Gore (Gay Trademark: fucking dudes). But Obama’s trying to help them out with his new online store section called “Runway to Change,” which features fancy clothes from elitist fashion [...]