December 9, 2013
See those nice young ladies? They were performing at some biker bar what we went at after we got tired of line dancing with Olds at Handlebar J’s in Scottsdale, Arizona, and Miss Lisa Wines got all of one picture before a goon smashed her camera and yelled NO PITCHERS or whatever. What will happen [...]
Did you read our story last week about a program to diversify Phoenix’s lifeguards at their majority-minority swimming pools? And did you worry that Jim Hoft and Judicial Watch, in responding to this program, were not being balls-out racist enough? Well good news, because Tucker Carlson is here to recalibrate the balance back toward HOLY [...]
O hai, we are just making this itinerary. We are getting in the car and actually taking a vacation, one that includes paying someone to be us on this here mommyblog while we are gone, so our only responsibilities for just shy of three weeks will be buying you beer and seeing our mama. It [...]
A guest post from your comrade Fakakta South. Say goodbye to Ugg boots, throw those skinny jeans in the trash (seriously), the hot new fad these days is just fucking stone cold shooting people! For anyone who pisses you off, gets in your way, or tries to make you show up for court, standing your [...]
Professional quitters the Palin clan are working on their resume again: Bristol Palin is moving out of her Phoenix narcomansion only six months after she paid $172,000 in cash for it. She’s renting it out for $1,400 a month so that YOU TOO can wake up each day in the angry meth wonderland exurbs of [...]
Nothing says “Merry Christmas” like the exciting news that 20-year-old Bristol Palin — known for getting pregnant as a teenager and not knowing how to dance at all — has bought a house! Hooray, Bristol! Times are tough for everyone, but somehow she scraped up $172,000 from under Sarah’s burrito wrappers on the couch and [...]
Oh look, actual news: Judge Susan Bolton of Federal District Court in Phoenix has blocked the most controversial parts of Arizona’s popular new immigration law right before it is to take effect, because she hates white people. Bolton has issued “a preliminary injunction against sections that called for police officers to check a person’s immigration [...]
GOD PUNISHES PHOENIX WITH AMERICA’S DIRTIEST AIR: Mexican Jesus isn’t very happy with the capital of Arizona, is she? “In its annual air-quality report card, the American Lung Association put Phoenix at the top of its list of U.S. cities with the worst year-round dust pollution, as measured by levels of airborne particles that invade [...]
The catastrophic news of the day is much like the catastrophic news of the past 18 months or so: OH JESUS, HOUSES, WHAT TO DO? Since the mid 1970s, the answer for many Chicago people has been “Move to some gruesome stucco tract house in a brand-new subdivision about an hour from downtown Phoenix.” So [...]
John McCain won’t speak at his “Victory Party” on Election Night, the AP just reported. Instead, he’ll “deliver postelection remarks to a small group of reporters and guests on the hotel’s lawn.” Really? This is what your campaign announces 10 days before the election? That you’re such a furious loser that you’ve decided, in advance, [...]
Got $12 million burning a hole in your pockets? Need a new mansion in Arizona? How about this little place, one of John and Cindy McCain’s unwanted castles?
Kathleen Portalksi is no Cooter Obama, but she’ll do! This lady is 11 years older than her more famous half-sister, Cindy McCain. And when their father (Jim Hensley) died, he left just $10,000 to Kathleen and bequeathed his entire massive beer fortune to Cindy. That is pretty fucking harsh.
This is the Bondage Room in one of John McCain’s nine homes (seriously, NINE), this one in Phoenix. Lucky Architectural Digest did a whole tour of the house and you can view their slide show here. Now it’s quite possible that John McCain has never been inside his Phoenix home, and who can blame him? [...]
Do you have time to read a 45-page-long first-person alt-weekly newsfeature about John McCain’s long life of being a political crook in Arizona and how everyone there fears and hates him? Of course not! Lucky for you, Wonkette has a team of offshore article readers, in Bangalore, who go through this stuff and whittle it [...]