Tag: petitions

Awwww. Kids being out in high school makes yr Old Gay Wonkette verklempt.

Catholic School Denies Gay Kid’s Sacred Right To Date Boys From Other Schools

Here's a new one for you! We're used to stories like "Hey, you lesbian, you can go to prom with your lady-lesbian date, but you have to wear a pretty dress like all the other debutantes," and "Hey, you...
Maybe the Indian is pulling the white man down on him in an act of wanton lust.

This Is Just A Really Nice Town Seal Of A White Dude Killing An Indian Dead

Town seals are just about as dumb as state flags, ALL OF WHICH are bad. But the Winner Winner Chicken Dinner of the shitty town seal contest, at least until we find a new worst one ever, is probably that...
"Hey, what's so funny?" -conservative donors

Scammy Conservative PACs Fleece Your Grandma With This One Weird Trick

Last week, Mother Jones reported that Mike Huckabee used his PAC to funnel more than $400,000 to his family. This week, Politico's Ken Vogel gives us a story about scammy conservative PACs that make thousands of dollars from home with just one weird...

MoveOn.org Demands Boehner And Cantor Be Arrested; Wonkette Demands Piper Perabo Be Washed And Brought To Our Tent

Hey there, MoveOn.org! What’s new? Boy, that shutdown sure was a dilly of a humdinger, wasn’t it? But now that it is over, what positive actions do you plan to put your energy and not-inconsiderable financial resources into in...

Having Gone Through Righteous Indignation And Emo Phases, Edward Snowden Now Feeling Cocky

No matter where you fall on the whole spectrum of “Edward Snowden is a Hero/Traitor/Floor Wax/Desert Topping,” can we all agree that this is a bad idea: For the first time, Snowden has admitted he sought a position at Booz...

Was Loser Congressman Thad McCotter House Of Cardsed By Evil Staffer? Sure Why Not

So remember Thad McCotter? The nobody Congressman who ran for president of the Iowa Straw Poll and lost, and then failed to gather enough real petition signatures to run for reelection, and then quit Congress in a blaze of...

Petition To Punch Grover Norquist In Dick Removed From White House Petition Site

Well, Wonketteers, we bring you some very depressing news: the petition for "all everyone to punch Grover Norquist in the dick" has been removed from We The People, the White House's platform for direct democracy. This saddens us greatly...

American Patriots Send Mean E-Petitions Threatening Secession, Just Like Their Confederate Heroes Did

True Americans everywhere are finally wising up to the fact that they will live another four years under the rule of the Nobamanation, and that basically all hope for freedom is now lost. We remember long ago in...

White House Will Now Pretend To Listen To Everyone’s Crazy Ideas

Hey, America! Do you have ideas? Do you think that maybe everyone should be able to smoke lots of weed, or drive in cars without seat belts, or that we should all be ruled by robots, instead of Barack...

Have You Signed America’s George Washington Petition Yet?

Fine, let's try to tackle it. Every rich corporate D.C. conservative establishment liar is going to (went to?) Virginia's most famous slave ranch, Mount Vernon, today, to sign some sort of Declaration thing, in this latest move in the...

Hooray, John McCain Would Like To Chime In!

Oh looky here, John McCain, for the first time ever, is squeezing himself into a situation that doesn't involve him at all. My friends, let this man sit down! Fill out my form to buy Scott Brown a stool!...

SIGNATURE-SOLICITING BROWN SHIRTS SEND FREE SPEECH TO DEATH PANELS TO DIE

Suddenly in America it is *illegal* to offer words of support for popular American television hosts such as Glenn Beck. This is not your grandfather's American Internet anymore, people. (Anyway, time to stop signing it!)

Everybody Sign The Glenn Beck Petition!

Fat racist queer-sandwich Glenn Beck is losing all of the sponsors for his Fox television show, "The Fat Racist Queer-Sandwich Hour With Glenn Beck." Will you stand for this? Who is going to provide the intellectual counterpoint to Obama,...

‘Thank You George W. Bush’ Webmaster Furiously Scrubbing Site

You anti-American homosexual Muslim book-skimming ACORNs have taken YET ANOTHER perfectly good & respectable website -- this one designed to thank George W. Bush for the various wars and contracting economies -- and ruined it with your filthy jokes...

Louisiana’s Boy Governor Threatened With Recall

In the great state of Louisiana, any citizen can file, for free, a petition to recall the governor -- and that is exactly what some dude and his wife have done, because Bobby Jindal won't veto a pay raise...

National Press Club Gives Slot To Larry Sinclair??

Well. The National Press Club, Washington's very Esteemed Lunch Club for reporters, has allowed Larry Sinclair to book 2.5 hours worth of prime real estate on June 18. Larry Sinclair is the guy who claimed he had hot gay...