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Tag: petition

Once a scumbag, always a scumbag.

Deadbeat Racist Former Congressman Joe Walsh Has Always Been At War With Human Decency

Trigger warning for JESUS IS THIS GUY FUCKING RACIST.

Baton Rouge Thought Cops Killing Black People Was Hilarious Until Now

It appears Baton Rouge, Louisiana, may be something less than a paradise of racial harmony.
Older siblings always seem a little weird

Mental Health Professional Thinks Someone Programmed Him To Murder. Could It Be … Satan???

The Satanic Temple, the first-amendment trolls who've answered government endorsements of religion with calls for Satanic coloring books in schools, have branched out into fighting some very real, very damaging pseudoscience.

California Wingnuts Extremely Concerned About Where You Make Toilet

Some very concerned citizens and their pastors in California are very concerned about their privacy. Ya see, right now, any old persons can walk into a public restroom, drop trou, do their business -- and nobody has the right to sue 'em if the girl-wiener they're packin'...
No problem, man, we got too many dang ol' illegals here already, man.

Butthurt Crackers Butthurt Over Slavery Monument Since They Can’t Have Treason Flag

Taking the concept of false equivalence to its illogical conclusion, some morons have started a petition to remove the African-American Monument from the South Carolina statehouse grounds, because it's offensive to white people. As Great Statesman Lindsey Graham observed,...
Sodom and Gamera

California ‘Kill The Gays’ Lawyer Figures Amending Constitution Should Let Him Kill The Gays

You might remember the sexciting story (which Wonkette broke, MUST CREDIT WONKET!) of weird incognito lawyer Matt McLaughlin and his quest to get an initiative called the "Sodomite Suppression Act" on the California ballot. The initiative had the serious...
ooh, red eyes!!

One Million Moms Can’t Compete With Badass ‘Lucifer,’ Want Teevee Show Canceled

The three or four moms behind the American Family Association's "One Million Moms" are very unhappy indeed about this upcoming Fox TV show called Lucifer, whose hook is that the Prince of Darkness gets bored with ruling Hell, quits...
Yep, conspiracy to commit murder is right in there!

Family Research Council Will Fix Constitutional Flaw That Allows Trans Americans Too Much Freedom

Could it be that the Religious Right -- or at least some parts of it -- has finally recognized that trying to reverse decades of civil rights progress by gay people is a lost cause? This might explain why...

All Y’all Need To Sign This Petition To Make George W. Bush Ambassador To The Iraq Such As

Nobody was all that surprised when the White House's petition site got turned into a vehicle for silliness, like the petition calling on the U.S. Government to build its very own Death Star, or to deport Piers Morgan for...

Monstrous FLOTUS Will Stomp All Over Kansas High School Grads’ Special Day By Speaking At High School Graduation

So what horrible Marie Antoinette-style outrage is Michelle Obama perpetrating upon the good people of U.S. America this week? Maybe she ate food? Or suggested that children get some exercise? Even worse: She "accepted an invitation" to speak...

Derp Roundup: Your Weekly March Through The Marshes Of Madness

Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we scrape the dumbest possible news leftovers off our overheated browser tabs, blend them into an almost-digestible slurry, and serve them up to you with a muffin and...

Here Are Some Additional Disney Princesses For Fox News To Worry About

It’s awfully nice of Fox News to take a break from bashing the socialist tyranny of Michelle Obama’s insistence that children try eating the occasional carrot and getting some exercise, so that Fox News can worry that a petition...

Wellesley Women Don’t Know Much About Art But They Know What They Don’t Like

Wellesley womyn, we applaud you. You saw an injustice, and you demanded change. Oh, wait, no. You saw a piece of art, "The Sleepwalker" by Tony Matelli, and said it was offensive and scared you and triggered you and made...

Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Scrapbook Of Scum And Villainy

Happy weekend, wonktastic ones! You know how it works: Every weekend we see what horrible crud is stuck in our open browser tabs, bring you the stories that are too stoopid to ignore, but not quite worth a...

Astro Nice Time: Kid Gives His Piggy Bank To NASA, Gets Call From Real Space Man For Reals

We always feel a little guilty when we dress up a "not as horrible as it coulda been" story as a Nice Time story, and this has been a week where too many stories needed Remedial Kittens, so it...

Alabama Fella Pretty Much Started Petition ‘Cause Fascist Gubmint Shut Down His Nudie Carwash

Lots of red-blooded US Merkins love America so much they want to LEAVE IT (because Kenyan Mooslim Sharia Oppression and such). But one such patriot is a little more interesting! Sup, guy who started Alabama's secession petition Derrick Belcher,...