Wonkette

* Heard on the Hill: Fitness instructor at the Sports Club/LA makes anti-Bush remarks during a class attended by Jenna Bush and Henry Hager, who later complained. . . Celebrities attending the Correspondents dinner: Tiki Barber, Maura Tierney, Ken Mehlman, Joe Wilson, Valerie Plame, Peter Pace, Michael Strahan, James Denton, Isaiah Washington, Naomi Judd, Morgan Fairchild, Ludacris, and Anna Kournikova. . . Gay & Lesbian Leadership Institute distributes “Coming Out Toolkit” to party officials and activists; Zogby poll finds that 74% of Americans “would ‘definitely’ or ‘probably’ continue to vote for an incumbent politician who shares their views if they later found out that person was gay or lesbian.” [Roll Call]
* Inside the Beltway: Founder of the National Defense Council Foundation warned Karl Rove in 2002 about the dire consequences of invading Iraq. [WT]
* Rush & Molloy: Sen. Kerry and Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg attend book party for Sen. Kennedy, but Clinton steals the attention. [NYDN]
* Page Six: Mickey Kaus accuses The New York Times of puffery for writing a “PR-perfect” story about Bill Clinton and Ron Burkle. [NYP]

Editors’ note: Don’t miss Ana Marie Cox’s Washington Post live chat, starting today at 11:30 AM. You can access it here, where you can also find a link for submitting questions to the Original Wonkette about BlackBerry disaster averted. Happy chatting!

Chatology this week slightly enlivened by the appearance of Stephen Colbert, though it was offset by Chairman of Joint Chiefs Peter Pace doing a half-Ginsburg; he has the kind of whispery monotone that made us fall asleep during filmstrips in health class. Most notable segment: Bill Kristol channeling Arianna Huffington in his disappointment in the administration, causing massive freakout on the Fox set and Chris Wallace to utter the Quote of the Week: “My whole universe has been rocked.”

Top topics: Potential (or ongoing?) civil war in Iraq; Katrina tapes; Dubai port deal.

One hit wonders: Two hits for the criminal investigation into Pat Tillman’s death (MTP and FNS); Oscar talk on “This Week”

Quotes to live by:
• Stephen Colbert on his Oscar expectation: “a lot of jokes [about] abortion… it’s a funny word, like guacamole.”
• Peter Pace moderates his view on Iraq: “I wouldn’t put a great big smiley face on it.”
• Juan Williams on DHS/FEMA infighting: “I’m going to put that off to two big boys having something in the back yard.” Well, someone saw “Brokeback Mountain.”

Full coverage continues after the jump.

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• CIA’s extensive anti-terror program goes largely unchallenged despite increasing criticism of surveillance tactics; Bush is a firm believer in the covert effort. Official: “Everything is done in the name of self-defense, so they can do anything because nothing is forbidden in the war powers act. It’s an amazing legal justification that allows them to do anything.” [WP]
• Bush pardoned 11 people last week; “he seems inclined to show mercy to people who have surmounted their mistakes.” [USAT]
• Laura Bush “blends private advice with understated public prodding, using her ample popularity as ballast for her husband.” [WSJ]
• With scrutiny over Jack Abramoff, lawmakers say no to free tickets to sporting events. [WSJ]
• New line of succession at the Pentagon ranks the undersecretaries for intelligence, policy and acquisition ahead of the secretaries of the Army, Air Force and Navy. Expert: “Rumsfeld doesn’t do things randomly. His inner circle is the key group.” [WP]
• Gen. Peter Pace clarifies his disagreement with Rumsfeld: it was a non-disagreement. [NYT]

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• Washington Whispers: Condi enjoys globe-trotting. . . Rumor mill envisions Gore-Obama ticket in ‘08. . . Peter Pace, the new Joint Chiefs of Staff, encourages his minions to find balance in their life. . . 16% of Americans watch more than three hours of cable news per day, the Winston Group finds. [USN&WR]
• Cindy Adams: Stephanopoulos says Reid green-lighted Miers on behalf of Democrats. . . Woodruff says Fitzgerald is gunning for a conspiracy charge. [NYP]
• Page Six: Mary Cheney, Laura Ingraham, Major Garrett among guests invited by Mary Matalin and James Carville for book party. [NYP]