Tag Archives: peter king

  You know who else was just like Hitler?

2013’s Person Of The Year: Hitler, Who Was Just Like Hitler

Oh 2013, how we will miss you and your multitudes of bad analogies, even though we are pretty sure 2014 will bring us even more bad analogies, because America is awful and Americans are awful, and it is now standard practice to compare anything you do not like to really bad stuff and/or really bad people. Like Hitler. (Or, on occasion, if you’re feeling creative, Rwanda.) The Republicans’ government shutdown this year was basically like the Battle of Gettysburg. Why? Because! A similar trend this year is to compare horribly awful terrible people who do horribly awful terrible things to great heroes who did great things because why not? Like, the Duck Dynasty dude is like Rosa Parks. Why? Because! (See also Ted Nugent, who is like Rosa Parks, according to Ted Nugent.) And of course Rick Santorum is just like Nelson Mandela, in that Rick Santorum is trying to destroy health care and Nelson Mandela gave his country health care, but if you forget that Santorum is doing the opposite of what Mandela did, they’re basically exactly the same guy. You can’t even tell them apart! But nothing tops the bad Hitler analogies because Jesus, that has become more popular than taking feminist twerking selfies at funerals. EVERYTHING is basically just like Hitler nowadays. Let us do the squiggly line flashback thingy where we fondly recall all the ways America’s Greatest Idiots idiotsplained to us how things they do not like are JUST LIKE HITLER. Read more on 2013’s Person Of The Year: Hitler, Who Was Just Like Hitler…
  fingerpointing also too

The Super Awesome Government Shutdown Blame Game Has Begun

Well all right then. The government shutdown happened. While some Republicans were calling this “dance” something to “compromise” and “negotiate” into giving them exactly everything they ever wanted ever, and Democrats were “refusing to be extorted,” the clock instead struck midnight and everyone just went home, probably because they had finally run through all the liquor. So now certain “nonessential” departments and federal employees have been told today that their services will not be required for a while, even though these employees probably think that still getting paid somehow is. But this is when the “fun” starts, people, because nothing is more important when governmental departments are shut down and people are not getting paid than to fight about whose fault it is. And oh yeah, we are gonna fight about it. The time has come to rage. Read more on The Super Awesome Government Shutdown Blame Game Has Begun…
  man is that chicken tired

Your Morning Wonkdate On Congress’s Continued Fight For Title Of Most Embarrassing National Legislature

Wow you guys, yesterday sure was a fun day for democracy and we have so much to talk about this morning! What was your favorite part of the great SHUTDOWNGHAZI!!1!!??? Was it that time when the Senate, a body not known for moving with anything approaching alacrity, took less than an hour to strip three amendments from a House continuing resolution and send it back to the unruly chamber accompanied by a sneer and two giant raised middle fingers from Harry “The Stormin’ Mormon” Reid? Was it Peter King – Peter King and no we don’t mean the Sports Illustrated guy – briefly almost becoming the voice of reason and leading a revolt of moderates in getting a “clean” CR through the House? Was it the House Rules Committee meeting that apparently devolved into a sixth-grade girls locker room, with tired (and possibly drunk) representatives just stone-cold hurling insults at each other? (Rep. Jim McGovern, to whom we are sending reelection monies posthaste, told the GOP members on the committee that “people in your party should put grown-up pants on” and also wanted to know if “your Senator from Texas” had signed off on the plan they were debating. Meow, kitty can scratch!) Read more on Your Morning Wonkdate On Congress’s Continued Fight For Title Of Most Embarrassing National Legislature…
  not the cantaloupe guy actually

New York’s Peter King Yells ‘First!’ In GOP 2016 Comment Thread

Grumpy owl and New York congressman Peter King (R-IRA) announced this weekend that, having protected America from the Ground Zero Mosque and scary Muslims taking over America, he will now take his bigotry on the road and run for President of the United States. As the first GOP candidate to announce, he wins a special prize, which is for everyone to ask “Is he the IRA guy or the guy with calves the size of cantaloupes?” (Answer: Yes.) Read more on New York’s Peter King Yells ‘First!’ In GOP 2016 Comment Thread…
  a plague o' both thy houses

Peter King Compares Rand Paul To Hitler Appeasers, Brilliantly Avoids Godwin’s Law

Rep. Peter King (R-NY) managed to invoke Hitler yesterday in a historical context that did not involve insane hyperbole, but instead reflected an actual comparison between isolationist Republicans of the 1930s and today. Referring on CNN to Sen. Rand Paul’s contention that the “tax and spend wing” of the Republican party is too fond of foreign wars, King replied “What this reminds me of, someone like Senator Paul and others in that isolationist wing,” King continued, “you know the Republicans had this debate back in the 1930s when you had the isolationists and the Charles Lindberghs saying we should appease Hitler, then the Democrats had it in the 1960s when the anti-war movement blamed America first and in both cases it hurt the party for years, each party was hurt for years.” “I’m afraid that is what Senator Paul is going to do with us. He wants to retreat from the world. He wants to isolate ourselves, go back to ‘Fortress America.’” Ever happy to nitpick, Yr Wonkette will now delightedly nerdsplain why King has not run afoul of Godwin’s Law, even if his analogy is still pretty much crap. Read more on Peter King Compares Rand Paul To Hitler Appeasers, Brilliantly Avoids Godwin’s Law…
  they hate us for our freedom -- why did we elect them?

Peter King & Lindsay Graham: NSA Scandal Proves Americans Need To Be Watched More Closely (Updated)

Peter King (R-Stasi) has taking the very brave position of calling for the prosecution of reporters that publish classified data. Presumably, he is only referring to the classified data leaked by whistleblowers, NOT the classified data accidentally revealed by Michele Bachman during primary debates, and definitely not the classified data selectively leaked to news outlets by the administration. In any case, Peter King is taking a helpful stance: since the terrorists hate us for our freedom, the best way to protect ourselves from attacks is to just have less and less of it as a precautionary measure. Below is Peter King’s response word for word, so you can be amazed at every logic-bending morsel.  So eloquent is he that he DOESN’T EVEN NEED to mention the Supreme Court’s per curium opinion in the Pentagon Papers case. Behold: Read more on Peter King & Lindsay Graham: NSA Scandal Proves Americans Need To Be Watched More Closely (Updated)…
  prism planet

Politicians Welcome Chance To Discuss This NSA Surveillance Monster They Hid In The Basement

Over the weekend, various security officials and congresscritters were forced to go on the morning yap shows or talk to the press about the secret data collection programs exposed by the Guardian over the weekend. Some of them took this opportunity to explain why they were glad, GLAD, that we are finally having a national conversation about the classified top secret eavesdropping and metadata collection programs that they hid from the American people. Others patiently warned us that this classified top secret eavesdropping and metadata collection program had definitely prevented terror but that they couldn’t tell us exactly HOW it prevented terror, because that is secret, silly! But it is definitely keeping us safe, although it also missed the Boston Marathon bombings, and the Times Square bombing attempt, and the Fort Hood shooting. And still others just stressed that the classified top secret eavesdropping program is somehow effective enough to prevent terrorism but not so effective as to actually compromise anyone’s privacy. Below, a rundown of the various machinations and meltdowns! Read more on Politicians Welcome Chance To Discuss This NSA Surveillance Monster They Hid In The Basement…
  and this is why we still cover the bullshit out of glenn beck's mouth

Looks Like Glenn Beck Has At Least Four Listeners In The House Who Want To Know About Saudi ‘Bomber’

As the world waits on its tenterhooks — which are surprisingly comfortable, and shaped liked a sofa — for Glenn Beck to release his DAMNING EVIDENCE about the US government coverup of the SAUDI NATIONAL who has already been cleared in the matter of the Boston Bombing, we learn that Beck has at least four listeners. They are Homeland Security Chairman Michael T. McCaul, Chairman Jeff Duncan of the subcommittee on Oversight and Management Efficiency, Chairman Peter King of the subcommittee on Counterterrorism and Intelligence, and Chairman Candice Miller of the subcommittee on Border and Maritime Security, and they sound fun and not at all stupid!* Read more on Looks Like Glenn Beck Has At Least Four Listeners In The House Who Want To Know About Saudi ‘Bomber’…
  Shhhhhhhhhhhhh

Rep. Peter King Leaks Government Secrets To Threaten National Security Some More

If there’s one thing New York Rep. Peter King (R-OF COURSE) hates — besides Muslims, obviously — it’s people who leak classified information because they hate America. (Why else would they leak classified information, right?) Leaking government secrets is like an “invitation to murder” basically, according to Peter King. Like that one time there were leaks about the raid that killed Osama bin Laden because President Obama sucks or something? He especially hated that: Read more on Rep. Peter King Leaks Government Secrets To Threaten National Security Some More…
  wanting hurricane relief is so yesterday

Today’s John Boehner Update, In Which Peter King Dashes Our Dreams of Continued Fightsies

Remember yesterday? Yesterday was AWESOME. Yesterday was the day when everybody – literally, everybody ever – hated John Boehner for behaving in a cartoon-villian-level of evil fashion and not bringing the Sandy relief bill to the floor. Leading the mob, avec pitchforks, was our surprising new hero Chris Christie, who rolled up and brought it. Peter King was no slouch, though, threatening to leave the Republican party (UNBEARABLE LOSS, YO!) over the whole thing: Read more on Today’s John Boehner Update, In Which Peter King Dashes Our Dreams of Continued Fightsies…
  when you've lost peter king you've lost america

Even House GOP Hates House GOP Today

Did you spend the new year’s holiday careening from half-truth to quarter-truth, rage to amusement, regarding the House GOP and the fiscal cliff? We did! Yr Wonkette was relieved that the whole thing went down on New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day, which absolved us from having to write all that much about it in real time. Small blessings, people. We really can’t pass up the opportunity, though, to remark upon the skull-crushing dickishness of the House GOP refusing to bring a Hurricane Sandy relief bill up for a vote: Read more on Even House GOP Hates House GOP Today…
  return of the rat

Giuliani Considers Running Again For President of 9/11

The problem with the Republican race for president, so far, is that there’s just not enough of the “craven opportunist stunt candidate on the make who also has a dreadful personal life.” Newt Gingrich just can’t handle all of this by himself! And Donald Trump never needed the money. Is there somebody else kind of like Trump, in terms of being a sleazy New York gazillionaire who gets married every few years and also probably performs abortions for fun? Yes, there is Rudy Giuliani. There is always Rudy Giuliani. And according to noted Muslim-hater Peter King of the Anti-Muslim Kingdom of Long Island, Rudy didn’t get shamed enough in 2008 so he might be coming back to lose big all over again. Read more on Giuliani Considers Running Again For President of 9/11…
  but muslims hate ham radio

IRA Terrorist Peter King Now Wants To Take America’s Amateur Radio Band

We thought he was plenty busy hating on Muslims — and why can’t the Muslims just shut their halal-holes and enjoy America’s endless bloody pointless murderous wars against Muslim countries, anyway? — but Rep. Peter King is also trying to shut down America’s ham radio frequencies. Read more on IRA Terrorist Peter King Now Wants To Take America’s Amateur Radio Band…
  tears vs. fears

Idiot Peter King Lets Keith Ellison Testify Before Committee, Speak Truth

Why would Peter King let known Muslim Rep. Keith Ellison testify during his hearings about how all Muslims are terrorists? What a dumb move. All Ellison had to do was tell a simple truth about Muslim Americans, and the whole spectacle was ruined. Read more on Idiot Peter King Lets Keith Ellison Testify Before Committee, Speak Truth…
  pretty plots

Peter King ‘Reveals’ Foreign Terrorists Are Trying To Assassinate Him

Rep. Peter King (R-Xenophobia) is finally starting up his very special hearings today, in which he calls before his committee a bunch of Muslims so King, an IRA terrorist, can be filmed telling them their religion is pure murder. But that’s not all! To sweeten the spectacle, King “revealed” to Politico that he has been under “police protection” for months “because of an overseas threat against him.” And Politico is like, “Cool! We’ll print that word for word! Want us to stick any other obvious lies in there?” And Peter King was like, “Yes. Write that the Muslims have increased my penis size a full four inches and now people pay attention to me.” Read more on Peter King ‘Reveals’ Foreign Terrorists Are Trying To Assassinate Him…
  just legalize muslim murder and be done with it congress

Terrorist Conspiracy Takes Muslim-Hating Congressman’s Wife Off Radio

Republican former Congressman and guy who played Gopher on The Love Boat Fred Grandy apparently spends his time these days hosting a conservative radio show. And, naturally, he likes to have his wife come on his show as a special guest under the undecipherable pseudonym “Mrs. Fred” to talk about birther crap and how a vast conspiracy of Muslims, who are, of course, all terrorists, are planning to take down the U.S. from the inside. Unfortunately, this Muslim conspiracy heard about her exposing the truth and secretly, with a dash of Sharia and a pinch of caliphate, got Grandy’s radio station to ask him and his wife to tone down the crazy. And you can’t tell crazy to stop being crazy, so they quit. Read more on Terrorist Conspiracy Takes Muslim-Hating Congressman’s Wife Off Radio…
  it's morning in america

Fear-Mongering Toad Peter King Has Bulging Hard-On For Irish Terrorists

With his AHH, MUSLIMS! hearings scheduled to begin this week, unfortunate Congressman Peter King has allegedly received numerous death threats and angry phone calls — more irrefutable evidence which proves Muslims are Extreme like the X Games, Q.E.D. The hearings will proceed as planned of course because when you don’t waste taxpayer dollars investigating radical bogeymen in America, what you’re really doing is letting the terrorists win. But what’s this? Oh, the Irish Republican Army made Peter King’s nipples hard, back in 1980. According to the New York Times, King once said, “If civilians are killed in an attack on a military installation, it is certainly regrettable, but I will not morally blame the I.R.A. for it.” Yeah, only Muslims kill civilians, right Peter? That’s why you need hearings? [NYT/The Hill] Read more on Fear-Mongering Toad Peter King Has Bulging Hard-On For Irish Terrorists… Read more on Fear-Mongering Toad Peter King Has Bulging Hard-On For Irish Terrorists…
  true hate

Peter King: I’m No Bigot; Here Are Some Bigoted Things I Believe

Rep. Peter King is going to be the new chairman of the House Homeland Security Committee next month, but some people (i.e., terrorists) have a problem with this, because Peter King has a habit of saying really bigoted things about Muslims. This hurt Peter King’s feelings so much that he got all defensive and penned an op-ed in today’s Newsday (his “enemy”) about how he is actually American Islam’s best friend. “Indeed, in 1995 the ICLI honored me for my ‘support of the Muslim community in general’ and my ‘advocacy of human rights in Bosnia and Kashmir.'” Indeed, he certainly hasn’t said anything mean about Muslims since he got that award, in 1995, and, indeed, American Muslims are now being turned into al-Qaedas by their imams. Read more on Peter King: I’m No Bigot; Here Are Some Bigoted Things I Believe…
  cracker jack

Anthony Weiner Still Likes To Yell On The House Floor and Now Also At Pete King

Here is New York Democrat Rep. Anthony Weiner on the House floor, yelling and pointing. Haha, he cares about his country and likes calling Republicans on their bullshit sometimes. Yeah, that is probably not going to work, but it is entertaining! The bill in question would have provided $7.4 billion in heath care benefits to 9/11 recovery workers, but it failed. Republicans said they voted against it because of “procedure,” according to Weiner’s tirade, and we always listen to people who are yelling, so let’s assume that is the whole story there. Later, Weiner was on Fox News and yelled at Rep. Peter King through the camera, even though King was standing behind him. Read more on Anthony Weiner Still Likes To Yell On The House Floor and Now Also At Pete King…
  put a boot in that mosque's ass

Peter King Not Going To Let You Worship Al Qaeda Near Ground Zero

Long Island Congressman and ranking Republican on the House Homeland Security Committee Peter King wants there to be an investigation into the funding of a proposed mosque to be built near the World Trade Center site in New York City, because terrorists are the only Muslims in the world with money, right? “It’s a house of worship, but we are at war with Al Qaeda,” King said. Muslims worship Al Qaeda! Makes sense. We wouldn’t want Muslims to think they are welcome near Ground Zero, because that might show we don’t hate them and do allow them to be free in our country. Read more on Peter King Not Going To Let You Worship Al Qaeda Near Ground Zero…
  pertect the contitutitioition!

Comical Republican(+Lieberman) Anti-Constitution Quote Machine Going Full Speed

It’s hard to pick out the best neocon quote so far about how we should treat the Farmville Bomber [wrong one; never listening to HuffPo/people linking to major HuffPo page again] an American citizen. Joe Lieberman is suggesting we change the Constitution, maybe, for citizens that are “affiliated with foreign terrorist organizations.” Well, the thought of Joe Lieberman no longer having constitutional rights is quite tempting. Read more on Comical Republican(+Lieberman) Anti-Constitution Quote Machine Going Full Speed…
  he's bustin' his ass for you

Congressman Pete King Not Even Trying

Peter King, one of exactly two Republican congressmen from the state of New York remaining after Obama stole GOP Rep. John McHugh for army secretary, must defend his Long Island seat — not just from whatever contender in 2010, and the big increase in Democratic voters, and the dying-off Republican voters, but from the Dems’ crafty plans to screw him with redistricting in 2012. Read more on Congressman Pete King Not Even Trying…