December 5, 2013
Your Wonkette comes bearing sad news: Helen Thomas, “White House Crone,” died today at age 92 after a long and eventful tour through the halls of the White House. Younger Wonketeers may only know her from that 2010 video where she made anti-Semitic comments , but she was also the first woman assigned to a full time position as [...]
With so much Nice TimeTM happening in the U.S. recently (Texas badass womyns & mandatory gay marriages) we thought this would be a good time to talk about some Global Nice Time. As President Obama travels to Africa to retrieve his actual birth certificate, there is good news coming from several African countries: Seven countries [...]
America, this is just a guess, but it’s probably not a good idea to make Obama angry. “We’re gonna need a new vein!” — Obama’s face of death. This whole photo is pretty much the greatest picture of the century so far. Joe Biden is like, “Murhp?” And Hillary Clinton is like, “OMG!” (This is [...]
It was bound to happen sooner or later to President Serious Face.
It’s not easy being the president during a sustained industrial/economic collapse! But Barack Obama bravely went to Willy Wonka’s munitions factory somewhere in Ohio or someplace, and then Barack Obama did a bad thing and tried the Every Flavor Dinner Gum, which includes “fried fat curds,” which are against Michelle Obama’s rules, so the crazy [...]
Thanks to Jackie Kennedy being hott that one time she lived there, the White House is supposed to be a place of well-decorated holiday majesty at this time of year. But the Obamas are ruining it by hanging out with singing asthmatic white college guys and forcing everyone around to worship their horrifyingly faceless dog, [...]
When the war is over, in the wee small hours, when your tie is loosened and you just want to have a cigarette and bullshit on the phone with another brother who likes his smokes, that’s when you open the last bottle and put Kind of Blue on the stereo and accidentally call John Boehner, [...]
Look at all the president’s men having so much fun on their Fantasy Lacrosse League while poor people talk about their troubles, with Obama!
Bob Woodward’s new book, This Obama Guy Did 9/11, will be that thing everybody in Washington buys on Monday even though they read all the sad dirt today in the newspapers. Obama’s own supporters just bitched at him for 10 hours on Monday during a tragic town hall. The economy is probably going to be [...]
President Barack Obama jokingly puts his toe on the scale as Trip Director Marvin Nicholson, unaware to the President’s action, weighs himself as the presidential entourage passed through the volleyball locker room at the University of Texas in Austin, Texas, Aug. 9, 2010. That’s your prez! Always with the jokes! (When he’s not GOLFING.) Nice [...]
Here is the actual caption to this official White House photograph by Pete Souza: “President Barack Obama is interviewed by Chuck Todd, of NBC News, at Gerald R. Ford International Airport in Grand Rapids, Mich., July 15, 2010.” Mmhmm, but we only see one person in this picture and it sure isn’t MSNBC poli-nerd Chuck [...]
Aww, look at the nice old couple dancing to the oldies on this nice cruise ship, in space. Who are they, anyway?
Here’s Barack Obama and Tony Hayward and the rest of the sad BP people and bitter White House people sitting around sipping glasses of lukewarm vinegar ‘n tears, earlier today. People are usually really excited to go to the White House, even if they hate the president or whatever, but we’re pretty sure all these [...]
Guess who’s coming to Cena? It’s anti-Mexican lady governor Jan Brewer, fresh from her family’s Time Machine Battles with Hitler! After enjoying a Taco-free lunch, Brewer told President Obama she’s sorry but she will need to see his papers to make sure he’s American. And whaddya know, he said he left his Birth Certificate on [...]