pete sessions

TODAY IN HARPIES  10:39 am December 13, 2012

Wingnuts Simply Do Not Care For Nancy Pelosi Answering Back To A Man

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

This is Nancy Pelosi, mom, grandma, Armani model, and once the most powerful woman in the nation. And here she is, flappin’ her gums about blah blah blah middle class blah blah blah who cares? Well, at some point during this period of time, when she is distinctly not making anyone a sandwich, Texas idiot [...]

LEGENDARY POLITICAL SCUFFLES  3:10 pm May 18, 2012

Meanwhile, In Congress, A Veritable Donnybrook Erupts Over Libations

by Jim Newell

Oops, it’s Friday, better check in on our beloved 112th Congress to see if they did anything (please god, spare us) or even showed up this week. Good heavens… fisticuffs? “One congressman accused another of drinking on the job in the midst of a tense exchange Wednesday night over whether the House would debate an [...]

OH JEEZ NOW THE CONSTITUTION IS CRYING TOO  10:04 am January 7, 2011

Constitution Was Violated By Those Who Read It Yesterday, Of Course

by Jack Stuef

Two House Republicans weren’t around to strategically hand tissues to John Boehner on Wednesday as the House session opened. That wasn’t a problem, because our new speaker was able to compose himself, remembering he had to deliver a full short speech before he could hit the red wine/bronzer celebration cocktails. Unfortunately, this meant these bros, [...]

'EAR/VOICE -- E-MAIL'  4:23 pm December 28, 2009

by Jim Newell

PETE SESSIONS INSANELY GAY FOR TERRIBLE CRIMINAL: “Just hours after federal agents charged banker Allen Stanford with fleecing investors of $7 billion, the disgraced financier received a message from one of Congress’ most powerful members, Pete Sessions. ‘I love you and believe in you,’ said the e-mail sent on Feb. 17. ‘If you want my [...]

MEDIA WATCHDOGS  11:15 am September 17, 2009

Joe Wilson Is Pissed At Obama For Snubbing Fox News, Or, At What Point Does Irony Become Reckless?

by Juli Weiner

Sad whine, sad whine: Some of our nation’s saddest Republicans are terribly upset that Barack Obama will not put in an excruciating bad-faith appearance on some Fox News program this Sunday. You see, Obama will be stopping by the other major networks this weekend to talk about health care on “Meet the Press,” “State of [...]

REPUBLICANS IN THE NEWS  3:37 pm May 11, 2009

GOP Congressman Who Said Republicans Need To Be More Like the Taliban Now Says Obama Causing Unemployment On Purpose

by Ken Layne

Texas GOP clown Pete Sessions last made the news when he suggested the doomed Republicans become more like the Taliban. As the modern Republican is already a fundamentalist nut who buggers little boys, hates science, fears women and constantly fantasizes about being killed for/by God, the only thing left was for the remaining wingnuts to [...]

CONGRESS  9:50 am December 11, 2006

Wife-Beating Loser Loses Mind

by Alex Pareene


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