Wonkette

No, alas, this isn’t the much-anticipated “Whitey” tape where George Bush sits in an Afghan cave with Louis Farrakhan spewing racist garbage. (That’ll be out next week.) A newly surfaced video shows our president making some jokes at a recent fundraiser for Pete Olson. Who’s that, you ask? Olson is the Texas Republican who beat Shelley “Dracula Cunt” Sekula Gibbs in a hard-fought primary, thereby strangling in its crib one of the most glorious political ascensions since … well, the last incompetent fraud from Texas. MORE »

After a valiant and hard-fought campaign, former pretend Congresswoman and full-time nutbag Shelley Sekula Gibbs lost to some joker named Pete Olson last night in a primary runoff for Texas’ 22nd Congressional district. Thus marks the close of another chapter in the fascinating political saga of a woman so beloved by her would-be consituents that one voter called her “DraculaCunt.” MORE »

Even if our coveted Wonkette endorsement failed to put Chris Peden over the top, we are delighted to think we had a hand in Dr. Shelley “Dracula Cunt” Sekula Gibbs’ miraculous comeback in last night’s primary. Dr. Gibbs once served in Congress as Tom DeLay’s replacement for seven glorious weeks, and now the voters of Texas’ 22nd Congressional District have said loud and clear: Seven More Weeks! MORE »