Congressman Pete King: Is he the Mike Gravel of 2009? He’s very fond of the brief, nonsensical YouTube on important topics such as why we all “glorify” Michael Jackson instead of firefighters and AIDS clinic workers. Hmm, good question! Here is a hint: one was a bizarre recluse who traveled with chimps, danced like an angel, and slowly morphed from a handsome young black man into Liza Minnelli; the other fights fires. NO CONTEST. Why didn’t David Paterson appoint Pete King to Hillary’s Senate seat instead of that dull Gillibrand character, who has never once produced a noteworthy opinion on Michael Jackson? [YouTube]

Peter King, one of exactly two Republican congressmen from the state of New York remaining after Obama stole GOP Rep. John McHugh for army secretary, must defend his Long Island seat — not just from whatever contender in 2010, and the big increase in Democratic voters, and the dying-off Republican voters, but from the Dems’ crafty plans to screw him with redistricting in 2012. MORE »

Why we love this town: As soon as we grew bored with that crazy New Orleans mayoral candidate, Jo Ann Emerson (R-Mo) stepped right in to steal back our affection (we’ll never stray again, Washington). Below, a letter she sent to a constituent regarding some boring thing that people who write letters to their representatives care about:
(Click to enlarge and then giggle for a half-hour) MORE »

Sorry for the hiatus, folks. But between the dodgy servers and pictures of Katherine Harris’s breasts did you even notice? If I had to sum up yesterday’s chatfest with one word, it would be this: amneleaksty. Immigration and Fitzgerald investigation dominated — which makes sense when you realize that Fitzgerald’s grandparents were probably immigrants.

Hot topics:
• Immigration bill: “bureaucracy of rubber stamps” or “lack[ing] compassion”?
• Leak investigation: Specter says the President needs to come clean, Kerry says “This was not a declassification to educate America, this was a declassification to mislead America.”
• Nuking Iran. Scary!

Quotes to live by:
• Stephanopoulos wonders “how do you solve this Rubik’s cube” of the budget?
• Dionne asks “What did the president forget and when did he forget it?”
• George Will gets legalistic: The President “was trying to discredit, punish, or seek revenge against a critic… where in the federal statues does it say that is forbidden?”
• And in case you’re wondering why he lost: Russert introduces Kerry thusly as the man who won “48.3 percent” of the popular vote.

Kerry: “I thought it was 49.2″
Tim: “48.3 — But who’s counting?”

After the jump: The most optimistic man in America, the calm and cool Joe Wilson (really), and a testy Schieffer.

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