If we are to believe recent news reports, the C Street clubhouse hosts many dudes — okay, two or three dudes — who at one time or another found comfort in the arms of ladies who were not their wives. But wait! Wasn’t this a Bible study group or something, in addition to being a Capitol Hill boarding house for adulterers? Yes — which might explain the wildly hedonist shenanigans that took place in that den of foulness, according to Rep. Pete Hoekstra. MORE »

Are there many things less funny than hot new memes rife with LOLcat spin-offs? Well, this one, “Pete Hoekstra is a Meme” — based on this tragic war tale — is pretty funny, and should be for the next seven hours or so. Anyway, some of you have asked for an Iran open thread, about (the start of) the Khamenei crackdown, so consider this it. Hopefully everyone in Iran and on Twitter stays safe. Fuck bad people.

Nancy Pelosi sweeps from the upper right corner in stealth and drops seven buckets of napalm on Pete Hoekstra, a martyr. But just before Pete passes, as the fire consumes his eyes, he grabs Texas Rep. John Culberson by his tattered lapels. “I… I want you to take this back, to my family,” Hoekstra whispers to Culberson — his comrade, his Brother — and hands him a BlackBerry. “It is… locked… you have to press… star + send… what?… no no no…. ’send,’ I said… the little green telephone button… no, you have to press… press them simultaneously… there you go… now you must Twitt…” He dies. But Culberson knows. [Twitter]

Republican Congressman Pete Hoekstra’s hiding under his desk in the dark, smoky House chamber, chewing on some rocks. It’s 2008. The boys are locked in, demanding their freedom, their birthright, to pass insane offshore drilling legislation during a Congressional vacation. Mean old Nancy Pelosi and a few other Democrat Socialists hover overhead in pods, firing mortars and dropping paint cans of napalm, everywhere, to suppress the revolt… but they must keep fighting, because Andrew Sullivan wants them to or whatever. [Twitter]