Wonkette

Hey guys! The Washington Times is getting its very own strip club! MORE »

Mere weeks from these epic midterm elections, America’s cartoonists are working feverishly to make sure you, the voter, are completely nonplussed by the political landscape. We’ve invited the Comics Curmudgeon to re-plus you, with the help of some of the finest of Today’s Cartoons.

After the jump, Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert in large cartoon pots, plus perverts.

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Rep. Mark Foley (R-Fla), who sent creepy emails to a (male) 16-year-old House page (and who’s Co-chair of the “Missing and Exploited Children Caucus”), will not run for reelection. Announcement at 4, to be followed by a pizza party and sleepover at the offices of the Washington Times.

Update: MARK FOLEY IS RESIGNING AND THIS IS OUR ITEM ON HOW MARK FOLEY IS RESIGNING FOR BEING A PERV. We know we didn’t bust out the siren, but you can really stop emailing us now. To help you through this difficult time, we have some hilarious alarming-in-retrospect pictures of Representative Foley after the jump.

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Our good buddy Max Blumenthal has an update to his Washington Times story, mostly about Randall Casseday, former HR director for the WT who was arrested in a federal sting this week for attempted kiddie-fucking. The story: former Times flack Melissa Hopkins was the lucky recipient of the unwanted affections of Managing Ed Fran Coombs (male, despite name). After the ol’ “come up to my hotel room for a nightcap” bit, Fran pulled the always-successful “force yourself on her in a taxi” routine.

Enter the pedophile, after the jump.

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We’re working on bringing you lots of shiver-inducing gossip about Randall Casseday (hey Times-ers — we know you’re reading), the Washington Times HR director who was busted in a federal sting for trying to meet a 13-year-old girl for sex. To tide you over while we investigate, here’s a picture of the perv himself hanging out with Wayne LaPierre, head of the NRA. Casseday’s the beardo. MORE »

Mistakes were made. MORE »

• George Bush wants to stick all 4 inches of his ” fat headed stub” into your ass, and not like metaphorically over gas prices or anything. [Fleshbot]

• Osama Bin Laden totally not dead, just filming new episodes for this season’s Survivor: Waziristan. [Stop The ACLU]
• Scooter Libby, who would be late to his own funeral, was late to his hearing today, and avoided his own funeral. [TalkLeft]
• 7-Eleven terminating supply contract with Venezuelan owned CITGO gasoline to sell its own brand of gas that will presumably come in “Motormelon” and “Octane Chill” varieties. [Hot Air]
• Cancel the Mandarin classes, China’s going bust. [Global Guerrillas]
• Katherine Harris’s campaign office in Sarasota is a great place to get your drink on, says omniscient Google maps. [Herald-Tribune]
• Rising expectations infect bloggers, being invited to the White House no longer good enough. [Hotline on Call]
• Washington Times HR Director tries to lay his hands on some underage human resources. [Fishbowl DC]

The pressure of wasting billions of dollars per week on nonsensical “Homeland Security” programs can take its toll in many ways, like trying to seduce children online by sending pornographic videos of yourself … from DHS computers.

Read the whole rancid story, after the jump.

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What, you think the Post is being unfair to Ken? Attaching his name to known pedophiliac creep (but non-child pageant queen-murderer!) John Mark Karr? Well guess what — guess what, America — you haven’t been victimized by this guy. The Post didn’t do it for you. MORE »

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