Wonkette

Why is gay Senator Larry Craig always getting arrested in public restrooms? Because he’s the Idaho Bathroom Goblin, that’s why! Also, as this picture proves, it’s because he has no Internet friends. So sad. [Official Profile: Sen. Larry E. Craig]

Dawn Gibbons has been living in the Nevada Governor’s Mansion alone since earlier this year. Jim Gibbons, the moronic alcoholic waitress-assaulting sex criminal who was comically elected governor in 2006 and took a secret midnight oath of office in his Reno living room, has moved back to that Reno house. He served Dawn with divorce papers, but she says he won’t tell her why he’s divorcing her. MORE »

Meet Wonkette’s new favorite Baptist preacher and Christian Radio deejay, 58-year-old Tommy Tester of Bristol, Virginia. He was just hanging out at a car wash, in Tennessee, drunk and high, wearing a skirt, “relieving himself in front of children,” with an open bottle of vodka and an empty oxycodone prescription sitting in the car. Oh, and he was “offering police officers oral sex.” MORE »

Our wretched Endless Cummer continues with a local Indiana politician — long-time councilman and former county auditor Roger Fisher — and his impressive (alleged) perversion. Fisher was arrested at a Motel 6, where police found a naked 15-year-old boy hiding in the bathroom. UPDATE, BREAKING: He’s a Democrat! MORE »

New law decriminalizes some teen sex in Indiana (that’s only some teen sex, so be sure to read the fine print, perverts) [FOX]

Ha ha, there is a “lighter side” to Dick Cheney again threatening China for having the nerve to spend a little teeny tiny fraction of its budget on defense: Chinese government officials are offended! Foreign Ministry spokesman Qin Gang described Washington’s demands for a complete Excel spreadsheet of every single Chinese defense expense as a hilarious child-molesting type of sex abuse.

“If someone always tears through your clothes and even wants to lift open your underwear, saying ‘Let me see what’s inside’, how would you feel? Would you want to call the police?” Qin told reporters when asked about Cheney’s remarks.

To Mr. Qin, we offer our apologies, condolences and the possibly comforting information that yes, we all want to call the police on Cheney — but he runs the police, too. MORE »

Joseph M. McDade, a gazillion-term Congressman from Scranton, PA, who retired from the House in 1999, has received a court summons in regards to an incident in Sanibal Island, Florida. According to the legal mumbo-jumbo: MORE »

George Archibald, former Washington Times man, has a lengthy and entertaining behind-the-scenes look at the recent ouster at that venerable paper of Washington Times Corp. Vice President Jonathan Slevin. From there, Archibald goes into a rich history of smoking weed with Fran Coombs, Moonies vs. unreconstructed confederates, and, because this is the Times, perverts: MORE »

Today’s photo funny from WashingtonPost.com reveals that UN hopeful John Bolton’s confirmation hearings would really be tough. MORE »

Washington Times perv Randall Casseday had the misfortune to be caught just days before Mark Foley ushered in our fondly-remembered Cocktober. In case you don’t remember (and who’d blame you), Casseday was the director of Human Resources for the unread but beloved right-wing paper, until he was fired for attempting to meet underage girls for illegal sexing. We did solicit reports of his creepy behavior at the Times, but the most we could get was that he enjoyed telling everyone what everyone else was making and alerting people to firings and promotions before they happened. Also, he was kinda creepy. MORE »