Greetings, Wonketteers! Your Comics Curmudgeon has been given permission by Wonkette’s lovely editrix to promote a pet project here: Hail to the Slash, a crowdsourced repository of slash fiction about presidents and presidential candidates, having sex, with each other and other historical figures! Wonkette is made up of EXACTLY the sort of pervert politics nerds […]

Everyone should drop what they’re doing right now and give a million Pulitzers to the Comics Alliance for blowing the lid off of an upcoming “Steampunk Palin” comic book/graphic novel/spank mag. It is (obviously) about a near-future crisis where “Big Oil/Nuke” seizes control of energy production and so everyone has to switch to steam power […]

You know what keeps Chuck Grassley up at night? Pornography! Specifically, the thought that someone, somewhere, within the vast National Science Foundation bureaucracy, is using a computer and Internet connection purchased with tax, dollars paid by hard-working Americans, to find and view pictures of comely young men or women — perhaps not wearing clothes, perhaps […]

Americans, do you know about “millimeter wave systems”? Of course you don’t — that’s terrifying science talk. In layman’s terms, these are the giant scary scanning machines that most airports have about two of, and people are selected at random to go into them, and then the TSA agent sees you naked, without any clothes […]

HOLY MOLY LOOK AT GOV. RICK PERRY TOUCH THIS MAN. JESUS. He’s like, well sure I’ll shake your hand old man, but before I do that, I’m just gonna pet your hair a lil’ bit, and you’re gonna have to deal with that. Ha ha ha! This is still so good, even on the 42nd […]

GUNS & DICKS  4:37 pm August 24, 2009

by Jim Newell

HANDSY N.C. STATE SENATOR SHOOTS HOME INTRUDER: This is why we need military-grade assault weapons, people: “TABOR CITY, N.C. — A sheriff says North Carolina’s longest serving state lawmaker has shot one of two intruders who kicked in the front door of his home.” This is a real win-win, here, because the senator, R.C. Soles, […]

By the Comics CurmudgeonMany differences of opinion mark the divide between real Americans and the sort of decadent, elitist sex-crazed weirdos who read this site. Perhaps one of the easiest ways to tell which category you fall into is to examine your attitude towards the Foreigns and sex perverts. Do you believe that America is […]

Oh, this was so awesome, the other day! What could be better than Anderson Cooper plus furries? Anderson Cooper crackin’ on furries, and suggesting they do more at their glamorous Pittsburgh conference than talk. So adorable! [YouTube]

Congressman Pete King: Is he the Mike Gravel of 2009? He’s very fond of the brief, nonsensical YouTube on important topics such as why we all “glorify” Michael Jackson instead of firefighters and AIDS clinic workers. Hmm, good question! Here is a hint: one was a bizarre recluse who traveled with chimps, danced like an […]

A pervert in Pennsylvania has been arrested. HOORAY FOR FRIDAY NEWS! Alan David Berlin, 40, and longtime staffer in the Pennsylvania state Senate, was charged Thursday for being a terrible panda furry who loved teenage boys so, so much. But is he only a panda furry?

TELEMARKETERS  2:13 pm April 17, 2009

by Jim Newell

COMMENCE ‘CRYPTIC PHONE DRIVE-BYS IN HIPPIE COMMUNES’ PHASE OF TEABAGGING REVOLUTION: Left-wing communist and likely herbivore “CB” writes: “I know this is only a minor event, especially because I’m sure millions of people got this phone call. But I need to vent. Yesterday I got a call, and a friendly male voice recording informed me […]

A full two thirds of the most recent Georgetown University Public Safety Reports have involved an unknown male entering someone’s home and hovering in or around the resident’s bed until being “asked” to leave.

A “high-level” aide to communist Sen. Barbara Boxer of California has been arrested after — whoops! — he was caught chatting and swapping cock pictures with 13-year-old boys on a liberal social network called “Google Hello.” Gross! And the funny thing about one of those 13-year-old boys was that he was actually an FBI detective, […]

Why is gay Senator Larry Craig always getting arrested in public restrooms? Because he’s the Idaho Bathroom Goblin, that’s why! Also, as this picture proves, it’s because he has no Internet friends. So sad. [Official Profile: Sen. Larry E. Craig]