personhood
North Dakota Passes Abortion Bill Guaranteed To Make Even More Of Its Population Flee
Wonkotans, have you been contemplating a trip to beautiful North Dakota? Perhaps kicking around the idea of settling there, what with their oil boom and all? You could get in and make money for a couple years before everything crashes and you become a meth addict that works at the Quik Stop! Good times. Before [...]
Paul Ryan Focusing On Jobs With New Bill About One-Celled Embryos
Lucky you, Amercia, Paul Ryan (R-Complete Tool) is back at work and ready to focus on the issues. After all, Paul Ryan is a Very Serious Person who is Very Concerned about Jobs and The Economy! So when he was campaigning we were all bereft of his leadership on these and other pressing issues, and it was [...]
Embryos Greet Defeat Of Virginia’s Personhood Bill With Eerie Silence
Virginia’s vaginas escaped state-sanctioned ‘unwanted penetration,’ temporarily at least, with a proposed transvaginal ultrasound bill thoroughly collapsing under the weight of public ridicule. And now the bill that would have granted any grouping of two or more cells “all the rights, privileges, and immunities” of (most) actual PEOPLE has been tabled until 2013, delivering a [...]
Zygotes Close to Becoming Microscopic People in the Eyes of Oklahoma
Oklahoma’s obtuse personhood law made it through the state Senate on Thursday by a margin of 34 imbeciles to 8 brains, and will now go to the House, where there are even more “interior person”-loving junkies than in the Senate. This means that, yes, fertilized eggs shall have “all the rights, privileges, and immunities available [...]
Senator Mocks Crazies With ‘Each Sperm Is Sacred’ Amendment
To make a point, which is a thing that congresspersons occasionally do, Democrat Constance Johnson, State Senator from Oklahoma, proposed an amendment to the state’s personhood bill this week that would render punishable by law ANY sperm that does not enter into a competition with its squiggly brethren to make a baby! The personhood bill, [...]
Personhood USA To Host Next Personhood Defeat In Florida
Sad news for American blastocysts, guys. Accidental zygotes are still not as sacred as you and I, now that the normals in Mississippi — whose existence was considered apocryphal until Tuesday’s election — have decided they’ve had just about enough of the pushy nuts behind up-and-coming fetus cargo cult Personhood USA. Final tally: a 59%-41% [...]
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