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Tag: pepsi

NAACP Leaders Arrested Protesting Super-Not-Racist Jeff Sessions, For No Reason At All!

If they're trying to appeal to Jeff Sessions's sense of shame, they may have the wrong target.
Can't you see how she's dividing America right here?

Beyoncé Super Bowl Show Features Black People, Wingnuts Super Outraged

Sunday's Pepsi Super Bowl 50 Halftime Show at Levi's Stadium in Facebook, California, was tinged with controversy. In an astonishing move, the NFL chose Coldplay to headline as an obvious diversity hire. Some more sensitive types were unsettled by...
all woman, no kidneys

Rejoice! New Barbie Body Types Will Enhance Self-Esteem Of Mattel Shareholders

This week we'll talk about dolls, soda and lying because deep down, like most of us, our Corporate Persons are runny-nosed little kids. Barbie's new curves not as hot as some of the takes they're producing Barbie! She's...

Dirty Dirty Crude And Other Great Gifts From Your Corporate Overlords

Are you looking for the perfect gift for the Corporate Person in your life who has everything? Or maybe you're a Corporate Person looking for just the right something to give a lobbyist or board member. You've come to the...
They're everywhere!

Gay-Hating Wingnuts Must Stop Using Google, Drinking Coke, And Having Abortions

Every week, there's some new company making the queer-hatin' folks of our U.S. American society real mad in their bathing suit regions, for making nice-nice with the gays. Usually we hear about it from the One Million Moms, that...
Jesus loves the little children, unless they're super-duper gay. SING ALONG!

Big Banks Won’t Stop Cramming Homosexuals Down Franklin Graham’s Throat

Poor persecuted Franklin Graham, insane wingnut son of evangelist Billy Graham and president of his daddy's association, saw a Wells Fargo ad on the teevee, and the ad had lesbians in it, and this shall not stand! So he took...

Cat Videos And Prom Pix In Today’s Happy Nice Time Links! Wait, What?

Good afternoon and welcome to your heaping helping of Happy links. We actually really really unironically liked this camouflage prom dress! Stephen Colbert had to go to war with himself to figure out how he can remain a devout Catholic and...

Millennials, Your Boss Should Not Call Your Mommy To Talk About Your Job

When we were young people, we would have blanched at the thought of our potential boss calling our parents about our potential job, though it is tough to imagine the CEO of Starbuck would have called Mom about our...

Justice Sonia Sotomayor Personally Selling Pepsi To Dying Fat Kids, Yalies Outraged

Now that the New York Times is done carrying water for the CIA, it has plenty of man-power to commit to other pressing matters, like how Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor is attending a conference for Yale alumnae, and...

New Pepsi Logo Looks Very Familiar

This is what would happen if a can of Tab had sex with Barack Obama.