Tag Archives: people magazine

  Won’t someone please think of the white people?

Daily Caller: Never Forget That Black Lady Who Used To Be Blackness Czar Racisted A White General, With Racism

The REAL racists, obviously
Hot on the heels of the Helter-Skelter-provoking interview with Barack and Michelle Obummer in People magazine, in which they had the uppityness to claim that maybe being black maybe isn’t always a sunshine-and-daisies walk in the park in U.S. America, the always-sincere-and-genuine “journalists” at the Daily Caller have once again raised the tenor of the national conversation on race, by making it all about white people. Read more on Daily Caller: Never Forget That Black Lady Who Used To Be Blackness Czar Racisted A White General, With Racism…
  It’s like they think they’re black or something

Racist Obamas Try To Start Race War On Whitey By Talking About Being Black

always talking about race all the time
Ugh, the so-called “first family” is trying to start a race war — again! Like it’s not bad enough that President Obama is always injecting race into statements about how if he had a black son, his son would be black, which serves no purpose other than inciting White Man’s Fury on Fox News. Or how Michelle Obama has been injecting race into trying to keep our fat-ass kids from dropping dead from their strict diets of soda and cheesy poofs — by being black. Read more on Racist Obamas Try To Start Race War On Whitey By Talking About Being Black…
  world's most deliberative bodies

Politico Reporter: Kirsten Gillibrand Is a Lying Liar, Since No Man in Congress Has Ever Been Sexist

k to the g
On Wednesday, the New York Post published tidbits of what promises to be an entertaining and depressing new interview with Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand in which she describes being called “fat” and told to work out more since she was getting “porky” by older male colleagues in the House and Senate. What’s not to love about being a female senator? It gets you membership in a very small and exclusive club within the world’s most deliberative body, plus all the free fitness tips and affirmative motivation you can tolerate on your wellness journey! Read more on Politico Reporter: Kirsten Gillibrand Is a Lying Liar, Since No Man in Congress Has Ever Been Sexist…
  Samba For Jesus

‘Full House’ Child Star Candace Cameron Bure Gets Kinky And Submissive, For Jesus

What’s the deal with former child stars? Don’t get us wrong, we know being a child star is a fucked-up life, but is the best way to solve it turning into a depressingly fervent Bible banger like Kirk Cameron or, apparently, his little sister Candace Cameron Bure, she of DJ Tanner in “Full House” fame? Yes, little DJ is all grown up and loves her some Jesus and defers to her man. Read more on ‘Full House’ Child Star Candace Cameron Bure Gets Kinky And Submissive, For Jesus…
  you can never be too bitch or too thin

It’s Okay, You Guys, Sarah Palin Is Just ‘Writing’ A Fitness ‘Book’

It seems like just yesterday we were worried about Sarah Palin! The wraithlike skin-sack of hollow bones clomping around Los Angeles this week was not the GILF you’ve hatefucked in your brainpan so many times throughout the years, but instead gave us a huge anti-boner of sad. (That this led to accusations in the comments that we were “body-shaming” is too bad, since it was by far the nicest thing we’d ever written about Palin, and also since this is not Jezebel. What’s next, accusations of cisgendered heteronormative hegemony?) But it is okay, you guys! People magazine did the hard work of asking Palin, what the fuck is up with your bone-sack? And Palin replied! Read more on It’s Okay, You Guys, Sarah Palin Is Just ‘Writing’ A Fitness ‘Book’…
  important news about the future of our country

Sex Detective Tipper Gore Doesn’t Believe Ex-Husband Groped Massage Lady

The tabloids would have you believe that Al Gore wanted some masseuse person to touch his genitals one time years ago, but a respectable magazine, People, does not believe this, as they heard from one of Tipper Gore’s friends that she doesn’t believe it happened. “And they also say Al had an affair with a Tennessee Titans cheerleader one week,” the “friend” is quoted as saying, though nobody has said that, nor would we believe that, unless this is a BIG SCOOP that will come out soon with hott deets. Read more on Sex Detective Tipper Gore Doesn’t Believe Ex-Husband Groped Massage Lady…
  troubling numbers

Sales Of ‘People’ Magazine With Obama On The Cover Just Kind Of Average

ZOMG has Barack Obama lost his MOMENTUM??? The megastar celebrity appeared on the cover of People last week, and sales actually DIPPED by 50,000 copies. If Barack Obama cannot stimulate enough reader interest to keep circulation at a healthy 1.45 million copies per week, is he really qualified for the highest office in the land? [New York Post] Read more on Sales Of ‘People’ Magazine With Obama On The Cover Just Kind Of Average…
 

Rumors On The Internets: He’s So Dreamy

* Thanks to Terry McAuliffe, Bill Clinton is an inspiration for gays on the whole Korean peninsula. [Hotline on Call] * Prove you’re biggest Bush hater in your town: buy the “impeachbush.com” domain name today! [Ebay] * Fired Time staffers: Don’t blame the internet for your kid’s impending malnutrition. [BuzzMachine] * Sam Brownback will make a big announcement today— that he’s running for President. Get your mind out of the gutter. [CQ Politics] * Barack the vote! [Café Press] * We know must-see-TV takes a back seat to must-drink-on-Thursday-nights, so here’s the Colbert/O’Reilly videos you missed. [Alternet] Read more on Rumors On The Internets: He’s So Dreamy…
 

White House Takedown

Thank god this Onion blogger is reading People, ’cause we almost missed this. It’s a lovely portrait of our First Couple from the Best (and Worst) of 2006 double issue, and the headline is “One Tough Year.” We can’t figure out what the hell is going on or why the White House allowed this picture to be published. We also can’t stop staring at it. What in god’s name is about to happen? Is George about to receive a punch to the kidney? If he tries to plant one on her, would it even be pysically possible for her to tense up further? What the hell is his other hand doing? Read more on White House Takedown…