Wonkette

As has happened so many times throughout history, a powerful military force has decided to act on its own, ignoring the feeble government supposedly in charge of its troops — and this time, that weak, rotten power is Washington! The Marines are planning to leave Iraq, the New York Times reported today, but they haven’t bothered to tell the American government and its ostensible boss of the military, placeholder Secretary of Defense Robert “I wish I was back at Texas A&M” Gates. MORE »

Meet Debra Cagan — “Deputy Assistant Secretary, Coalition Affairs, Global Security Affairs, United States Department of Defense” and new hero of the Bush Administration. What has Robert Gates’ top gal at the Pentagon done to attract the world’s attention beyond dressing in a scary red leather bondage outfit topped off with a white Nazi Iron Cross? She told a group of British MPs how much she hated those goddmaned Iranians, that’s what! MORE »

Remember when that Iraq War was pretty much going to pay for itself — from the $20 billion in annual oil revenues! — and certainly wouldn’t cost the U.S. more than maybe $60 billion, but more likely about $10 billion? Paul Wolfowitz said this in congressional testimony so you know it must’ve been true. And top White House economics guy Lawrence Lindsey must’ve been totally wrong when he guesstimated a $100 billion to $200 billion price tag, because he was fired as soon as he mentioned that to the Wall Street Journal.

Anyway, the White House just demanded another $190 billion on top of the $602 billion Congress has already spent on Iraq (and Afghanistan, whatever that is). We’re almost at $800 billion dollars, people! And you know what that means: Only $200 billion more to Victory! (By the way, U.S. gross domestic product in 2006 was $13 trillion.)

Pentagon seeks $190 bln more for Iraq, Afghanistan [Reuters]

Small company soaks Pentagon for $20 million in “shipping costs” for sending a handful of tiny parts; nobody at DoD noticed for six years. [Bloomberg/Yahoo]

There’s another SURGE going down in Iraq — but this time, American Robots are doing the surging. These special robots appear to be made by the same company that makes those funny round vacuum robots that get caught and then make the sad beep from under your dining room table if the chairs are too close together like they usually are because that’s where the chairs are supposed to go. In other words, this should turn out well. MORE »

Good news, America: With the Pentagon’s sale of thousands of fighter-jet parts that only be used by Iran’s Air Force, there is still hope of a Gulf of Tonkin-style incident to finally start the War Against New Worst Enemy Iran! MORE »

“Issuing a stunning rocket” (that is Kate Phillips’ phrase — we have no clue what it means but we like it and may begin all of today’s posts with it), the Pentagon told Hillary Clinton that they were going to sent her to Gitmo if she keeps kinda-sorta planning a withdrawal from Iraq. No, seriously. Her half-assed non-plan is considered “enemy propaganda” and the Pentagon is totally serious about fighting the War on Mild Criticism. MORE »

One of Cheney’s remaining hacks at the Pentagon, undersecretary of neocon propaganda Eric Edelman, sent Hillary Clinton a mean letter telling her to shut up about the withdrawal of troops from Iraq that everybody knows is going to happen on some level pretty soon, including everybody at the Pentagon and everybody in Iraq. MORE »

Following this week’s tragic revelation of 800 cyber-attacks on the the Homeland Security department, evil computer monsters have now attacked the Pentagon’s computer networks. Some 1,500 PCs at DoD were shut down during the latest “penetration of the system,” in the romantic wording of Defense Secretary Robert Gates. MORE »

* “It seems to me that if the city is going to legislate a smoking ban and effectively throw us smokers into the street, that the least they could do is pony up and put ashtrays on every busy block.” [Good at Drinking, Bad at Life]
* “Only in DC do you see advertisements for military aircraft on public transit … Boeing’s C-27J spartan cargo and tactical transport aircraft.” [Life Off Balance]
* Beautiful picture of Columbia Heights. [Night Writer]
* “Giant local employer Fannie Mae expects it will lay off hundreds of workers in the wake of huge federal fines imposed in their accounting scandal. We’re sorry, unsuspecting Fannie Mae employees.” [DCist]
* “Vince Gill and Amy Grant!? I hate to spoil it for all you fans, but I bet they play ‘House of Love’ as their encore. I’m not linking to the lyrics to that musical abortion because they are insipid and the song will just end up stuck in your head and I don’t want to do that to you. I’m looking out for my readers. If Tony Snow’s cancer was a song, it would be ‘House of Love.’ It eats away at the very core of who you are.” [why.i.hate.dc]

* Two AU students killed in a hit and run. [Read Express]
* Free dog: “A young black lab followed some joggers from Rock Creek Park and entered my back yard on Shepherd Street today (Friday at noon).” [Petworth News]
* Steer clear of tomorrow’s protest route: “The march will begin at 12:30PM. Participants will cross Memorial Bridge into Arlington and walk to the Pentagon North parking lot for a rally.” [MetrobloggingDC]
* Disney announces black princess: “Will Disney just try to paint a black face on a princess and call her the first of her kind and yet, not give the story any ‘cultural’ distinction?” [Sugar N Spice]
* DC has an AOL Irish Mafia. [Adam's R&R]

* Reliable Source: Chuck Schumer still upset about getting a B in 1971 from Bill Bennett… The Sanchez sisters: funny! [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Would you like to learn a lot about the contents of the forthcoming Clinton smear-job (and FishbowlDC advertiser) The Clinton Crack-Up? Have we got a column for you! … Stephen Breyer will be on that funny NPR news quiz show. You know the one… If you misspell Khalid Sheikh Muhammad’s name, he will politely correct you and then take credit for the death of your childhood pets… Remember the dude who left the map to Rumsfeld’s house at a Starbucks? He’s now the “Strategic Media Advisor” at the Pentagon. [Examiner]
* The Sleuth: Kerry continues to fuck with the dude who wants to be ambassador to Belgium for his donations to the Swift Boat guys… Dems are raising huge amounts fo money in case Tim Johnson vacates his seat. [WP]
* Rush & Molloy: Valerie Plame is canceling all her appearances because her publisher wants her to wait for the book to actually come out. [NYDN]

Guess who’s almost old enough to be blown up at an Iraqi kindergarten? That’s right, it’s our little Iraq War — he’s turning four years old this Monday! But we’re going to have the party on Saturday, in a bunker, in hopes that the insurgents and militias and death squads and American media won’t notice. MORE »