Tag: pennsylvania

Which one's the moderate?

Trump’s Victory Thank You Tour Marching Into Cincinnati, Will Annex Sudetenland

Donald Trump's going on tour. Why? Who needs a reason? He loves rallies.
Get ready to be sick of winning

Donald Trump Furious About Recounts In Election He’s Still Pretty Sure Was #Rigged

It's not like the Trump camp has anything to hide. OR DOES IT?

How Are Americans Expressing Their Economic Anxiety Today?

It's morning in America, so you can read the racist graffiti more clearly.
What do you people want from me? Leadership? Pffft.

Donald Trump Will Raise Money For Republicans Just As Soon As He Figures Out How That Benefits Him

Donald Trump doesn't see why he should hold fundraisers for the GOP anymore. What have they ever done for him?
Mary Todd Lincoln? Look at her! I don't think so!

In Very Own Gettysburg Address, Donald Trump Ends Groping Controversy By Promising To Sue Everybody

It would have been a better speech if if had been written on the back of an envelope.
In Trump's version, nobody gets paid.

Donald Trump Says He’s A Blue Collar Guy. And Tony Soprano Is A Waste Management Contractor.

We'd love to see a Thomas Hart Benton mural of Donald Trump

Sorry, Hate-Crimers, You Can’t Use ‘Donald Trump Told Me To Beat Up Foreigns’ As A Defense

If you can't say Donald Trump inspired your hate crime, what has become of Justice?
Is it jihad cookie time again already?

Bomb Squad Saves Pennsylvania Town From Threat Of Jihadi Cookies

Americans are now afraid of terrorist cookies.
Wotta wimp

Donald Trump’s Child-Leave Plan Only For Mommies, Because What Kind Of Pussyman Changes Diapers?

Donald Trump has the best maternity leave program of either candidate. It's true -- because Clinton's plan isn't limited to just mothers.
Little-known fact: Butthurt is also covered by Obamacare

Did Aetna Quit Obamacare When It Didn’t Get Big Fat Merger? Elizabeth Warren Says Ayup!

Aetna dropped out of Obamacare exchanges in 11 states this week, proving either that Obamacare is unsustainable, or that big corporations can act like big babies when they don't get what they want.

Pennsylvania AG Kathleen Kane Found Guilty Of So Many Things, Bye PA AG Kathleen Kane!

Kane was found guilty of leaking information from a grand jury hearing and then lying about it.

Yr Wonkette Would Like To Get The Hell Out Of Pennsyltucky Now


It’s Super Tuesday Again! (For The Eleventy-Millionth Damn Time)

Now updated with some results! Hey, people in the Northeast who don't live in New York or Massachusetts or whatever! You live in Connecticut, Delaware, Maryland, Pennsylvania and Rhode Island, and you are wearing a sticker on your boob...

Bill Cosby Fails To Sedate Appeals Court

A Pennsylvania appeals court thinks Bill Cosby's a really funny guy, and laughed out of court his argument that he couldn't be prosecuted in a sexual assault case. Cosby had claimed he was immune because a prosecutor promised not...

Pennsylvania Democrats Have Hot 3-Way In Race To Take On Pat Toomey (R-Yawn)

a href="http://wonkette.com/600294/maryland-has-two-awesome-democrats-running-for-senate-can-we-have-both"Welcome back to our newish feature, our weekly countdown of U.S. Senate races, yes, even the ones where there's no real contest. But not this week! Last time, we looked at Maryland's primary between two ridiculously well-qualified Democrats;...

John Kasich Will Underpants Gnome His Way To GOP Nomination, You’ll See

John Kasich is a man with a (bad) plan to (not) win the Republican primary, y'all. He knows you don't actually have to win the primary to Win The Primary. See, if Donald Trump doesn't reach the 1,237 delegate threshold required...