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Posts Tagged “Pennsylvania”

cartoon violence

Pennsylvania's Cartoon Hangover

By the Comics Curmudgeon
Are you tired of Pennsylvania primary news, now that it's over? Ha ha, just kidding, obviously you were tired of it weeks and weeks before it even happened. Nevertheless, we feel that the following cartoons about America's favorite "Keystone State" will help bring a sense of closure to this dark period in our lives, and get you ready for the next stage, which will involve wishing you never, ever heard the word "Indiana." More »

1:30 PM on Fri Apr 25 2008
By jfruh
3,550 views, 10 comments

Latest by louisev: we have to ask ourselves at this point, will we ever look at Obama's face again without seeing Grinchlike features? more »

he consumes carbs and yet does not gain weight

Video Footage of Barack Obama Eating Waffles!


Remember how Barack Obama lost the great state of Pennsylvania because he was too busy eating his Hamas waffles to explain why he's in league with the terrorists? What you might not know is that he made his dickish, wheedling plea to "let me eat my waffles" through a mouthful of those same waffles he purported not to be able to eat. (He is a contemptible liar.) Watch Mumbly Joe Obama totally ducking important foreign policy questions, and eating waffles, in this video. And then see this other less good video of exactly the same thing after the jump! More »

12:41 PM on Thu Apr 24 2008
By saraksmith
1,020 views, 39 comments

Latest by DaveBowman: @audicityofhope: Waffles are soft enough to be eaten with a fork, freeing your left hand to smoke a cigarette. more »

funny pictures

Barack Obama Offers Subtle Hand Gesture To Media


Here's your Barack Obama, all alone on this giant luxury jet plane, reading his newspapers and perhaps flipping the bird to Hillary, the airplane, and especially the political journalists who are again pretending that Hillary Clinton can "win" the nomination, when she doesn't have enough votes or delegates to actually do that. Also, taped to the cabin ceiling ... a blood-stained towel? [AP Photo]

5:05 PM on Wed Apr 23 2008
By Ken Layne
4,483 views, 77 comments

Latest by TooFolkGR: I believe that is a bloodstained adult diaper stolen from the Straight-Talk Express. Obama displays it prominently to keep reminding himself what he's really up against. more »

DON'T PEOPLE HAVE SUBPRIME MORTGAGES TO PAY?: Hillary Clinton's campaign is somehow en route to raise TEN MILLION SMACKEROONIES between last night's victory and tonight. [The Page]

20 comments

letters to the editor

What You Need To Know About The Next Few Weeks

If you turn on the Internet and visit any of its websites, you'll find some guy or gal's analysis of the Pennsylvania primary results and the future of the election. While there only may be one or two ways to assess the question of "Does an ongoing primary hurt or help the Democrats?", the Internet's "Rule of 10 Million" means that there are somehow 10 or 20 million ways to assess it. We'd like to chip into the pot with three of our own, from readers. More »

4:04 PM on Wed Apr 23 2008
By Newell
2,656 views, 43 comments

Latest by Diadhuit: This is what will happen this fall: In the end of august, 2 days before the Democratic convention, Obama and Hillary will curl into a ball and eat each other (similar to that snake that is biting it's own more »

YES SHE CAN'T: Hillary's big 10% win last night is now down to a 9.2% win, which is only "double digits" if you count the fraction of the percentage. Go Hilz! [Political Wire]

50 comments

paultards

McCain Struggles To Win Pennsylvania ... GO RON PAUL!

Ancient midget John McCain is the "presumptive GOP nominee," which is why he continues to struggle in Republican state primaries that nobody else is really paying attention to, because of the Obama-Hillary wrasslin' match. Last night, the angry old man won just 72.7% of the GOP vote. Mike Huckabee, who dropped out of the race several years ago, still managed an impressive 11.4% — "impressive" to losers like Guiliani and Thompson, at least! But you'll never guess who came in second place last night. More »

1:25 PM on Wed Apr 23 2008
By Ken Layne
3,426 views, 43 comments

Latest by shortsshortsshorts: @nyczhugo: No. It says nothing. Nothing at all. Shut up. more »

caption contest

Write Your Own Terry McAuliffe Response

Last night Wonkette harassed Hillary campaign chairman Terry McAuliffe, but the audio went out! Now we can have one of those evil contests that people like so much, hurrah: When we asked Terry McAuliffe about Hillary Clinton, what did he say? Best response wins a pot of golden furs.

12:01 PM on Wed Apr 23 2008
By Newell
1,868 views, 67 comments

demographics are destiny

Oldsters Key To Clinton's Pennsylvania Victory

This morning, millions of sad, youthful Obama voters are waking up and wondering what the hell happened in Pennsylvania. Here's the scoop, little ones: Pennsylvania's elderly are so old that they make John McCain look young, and they're so numerous that you'd think they were still capable of reproduction. In fact, the only state with more elderly residents is Florida, and at least those old people moved there. They want to be in Florida. Meanwhile, old people in Pennsylvania resemble the humble sea cucumber: sessile, rooted, a prisoner of the very earth that nourishes them. Naturally, these people vote for Hillary Clinton. More »

9:17 AM on Wed Apr 23 2008
By saraksmith
2,656 views, 62 comments

Latest by WASP: @shortsshortsshorts: I second that motion! more »

photo tours

Weird Scenes From Hillary's Philadelphia Lair

No. No. 10 points? That is like a million points in the sense that HILLARY WILL KEEP RUNNING rather than letter us all take VACATIONS on BEACHES away from THIS. Blah blah blah, Hopey done blown it, more pictures below from Satan's lair. More »

11:46 PM on Tue Apr 22 2008
By Newell
4,388 views, 64 comments

Latest by sugartitties: Jim Newell NOT getting laid? Lies. I hear he broke many a Pennsyltuckian heart back in the day. By which I mean, three weeks ago, because he's still a baby. more »

scranton liveblog

Obama Speaks: Liveblogging the PA Primary, Part Phive

Oh hey, it's Barack Obama, speaking, on the TeeVee, from Indiana, about the results in Pennsylvania. Let's liveblog this bitch, shall we? More »

11:20 PM on Tue Apr 22 2008
By Ken Layne
4,363 views, 106 comments

scranton liveblog

Hillsylvania Strangler: Liveblogging PA, Part Phour

Well, that happened just like pretty much everybody said it would happen, and Hillary's once-proud 20% lead is down to a more "manageable" 9%, at the moment, for Mr. Hopeful Obama. As our Jim Newell and Liz Glover roam Hillary's headquarters looking for either "victory sex" or at least free drinks — or, at the very least, a functional wireless signal from the lady who wants to run the world — let's keep track of the blather on cable news and the Internets. More importantly, let's keep drinking and leaving weird comments. More »

10:30 PM on Tue Apr 22 2008
By Ken Layne
2,853 views, 96 comments

Latest by amygdala1: @Mr. Hanky: Shit, Dukakis spoke at my Bucks County high school my sophomore year in 1988... Sam Donaldson was there, (I remember someone spotting him and the ABC van outside of study hall as we were all lined up by more »

nosplice:7

Hillary Wins, Obama Spins: Liveblogging The Pennsylvania Waterloo, Part III

Nobody is buying this Spin crap from Spinnsylvania, and yet the commentators are shouting "Here is what the spin meisters are saying! Do not believe their vicious lies!" But even though you are half drunk and fully exhausted, aren't you interested in what exactly these vicious lies are? Stay with us to find out. More »

9:45 PM on Tue Apr 22 2008
By saraksmith
3,366 views, 92 comments

scranton liveblog

Hillary Wins! Liveblogging The Pennsylvania Primary Massacre, Part II

Hello, Pittsburgh! Rock onward, Harrisburg! Philadelphia Freedom, shine on me! And we're living here in Allentown! Triumph over suburban male problems, Brewer! Did you know this was All For Nought? That's what famous clown Chris Matthews says! So who cares, right? Still competitive, still too close to call, but that can't last all night, right? More »

9:25 PM on Tue Apr 22 2008
By Ken Layne
3,178 views, 79 comments

nosplice:7

Liveblogging The Cable News Blathering About The Pennsylvania Primary

Well friends this is what it comes down to: Begala and Bennett and some other people jabbering about Momentum and numbers vs. narrative. How long before Donna Brazile storms off the set in disgust along with all the other former Clinton staffers? Join us in this long night of misery. More »

8:25 PM on Tue Apr 22 2008
By saraksmith
2,436 views, 48 comments

A VERY COMPETITIVE RACE: No firm news based on exit polls, so CNN is pussing out and saying they will have to wait until actual votes are counted. Fortunately, we are prepared with a case of string cheese and three bottles of red wine. Stay with us as we suffer through this interminable evening!

20 comments

gambling types

Who Will Win Pennsylvania? Join The Unofficial Wonkette Betting Pool!

All right jokers who like to bet on things! Tell us in the comments who will win, and by how many points, and if you are correct we will uh give you something! We will write a post, all about you, and it will feature a photograph of Hillary giving "the shocker." Writey writey! Submit your PROGNOSTICATIONS before 9pm Eastern (because it will take them at least an hour after the polls close to count this garbage) and you too can be famous on the Wonkette, maybe.

7:47 PM on Tue Apr 22 2008
By saraksmith
981 views, 82 comments

Latest by illnoise: Looks like Laura wins. I was *so* close. Maybe once the official figures come in it'll be closer to 9. Woo! she won by *ten,* stand back, the tide is turning, now if she just wins by 36% (!) in all more »

berlusconi!

Italians Like Obama, Hillary, And Their Own Politician Guy

We ran into a group of Italian tourists this afternoon in Philadelphia who hilariously thought we were a real news organization. They've enjoyed seeing "the advertisements about Obama and Hillary," making them the first group in world history to have felt this way. But they don't like either candidate nearly as much as they like their own new Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi! The mere mention of his name set off an avalanche of stereotypical Italian overreactions and blown kisses. Then we interviewed some child who is UNDECIDED STILL AFTER ALL THESE YEARS. Finally, we sneaked a peek at the Liberty Bell, which is fake, like YOU.

7:11 PM on Tue Apr 22 2008
By Newell
1,907 views, 11 comments

Latest by tboggia: How sad... I was born and raised in Italy and left partly because of people like them. I spend most of my time here trying to disprove Italian stereotypes, and then these people start cheering like morons at the mention more »