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Tag: pennsylvania

Have We Gently Encouraged James Comey To Go F*ck Himself Lately?

THAT'S RIGHT COMEY, WE'RE TELLING YOU YOUR BUSINESS AGAIN.

Yay, Town In Pennsylvania Trump Country ISN’T Total Dick To Syrian Refugees!

Let's be joyful that stories like this still exist, at least until Donald Trump makes them illegal.

Breitbart And Fox News Chase Christmas-Stealing Jews Out Of Pennsylvania Town

SPOILER: The Jews did not actually steal Christmas.
O Hai! I can haz extortion crisis, plz?

Foreigns Already Blackmailing Donald Trump For Favors. WEIRD!

Thank goodness presidents can't have conflicts of interest. Donald Trump said so!

Let’s Watch A Hillary Clinton Speech And Cry Some More, Like We Always Do

We still just want to give her a hug.

Donald Trump’s Mandate Just Got Bigger, Longer, Even More Uncut

Trump's margin in Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania is now fewer than 80,000 VOTES, FOR REAL, OH MY GOD.
Which one's the moderate?

Trump’s Victory Thank You Tour Marching Into Cincinnati, Will Annex Sudetenland

Donald Trump's going on tour. Why? Who needs a reason? He loves rallies.
Get ready to be sick of winning

Donald Trump Furious About Recounts In Election He’s Still Pretty Sure Was #Rigged

It's not like the Trump camp has anything to hide. OR DOES IT?

How Are Americans Expressing Their Economic Anxiety Today?

It's morning in America, so you can read the racist graffiti more clearly.
What do you people want from me? Leadership? Pffft.

Donald Trump Will Raise Money For Republicans Just As Soon As He Figures Out How That Benefits Him

Donald Trump doesn't see why he should hold fundraisers for the GOP anymore. What have they ever done for him?
Mary Todd Lincoln? Look at her! I don't think so!

In Very Own Gettysburg Address, Donald Trump Ends Groping Controversy By Promising To Sue Everybody

It would have been a better speech if if had been written on the back of an envelope.
In Trump's version, nobody gets paid.

Donald Trump Says He’s A Blue Collar Guy. And Tony Soprano Is A Waste Management Contractor.

We'd love to see a Thomas Hart Benton mural of Donald Trump

Sorry, Hate-Crimers, You Can’t Use ‘Donald Trump Told Me To Beat Up Foreigns’ As A Defense

If you can't say Donald Trump inspired your hate crime, what has become of Justice?
Is it jihad cookie time again already?

Bomb Squad Saves Pennsylvania Town From Threat Of Jihadi Cookies

Americans are now afraid of terrorist cookies.
Wotta wimp

Donald Trump’s Child-Leave Plan Only For Mommies, Because What Kind Of Pussyman Changes Diapers?

Donald Trump has the best maternity leave program of either candidate. It's true -- because Clinton's plan isn't limited to just mothers.
Little-known fact: Butthurt is also covered by Obamacare

Did Aetna Quit Obamacare When It Didn’t Get Big Fat Merger? Elizabeth Warren Says Ayup!

Aetna dropped out of Obamacare exchanges in 11 states this week, proving either that Obamacare is unsustainable, or that big corporations can act like big babies when they don't get what they want.