By the Comics Curmudgeon

You would be forgiven if you assumed that the members of our political class were terrible killer cyborgs, sent from the future to kill us all, with skeletons and organs made from metal and plastic. Or perhaps you believe them to be terrible hell-demons, with skin made out of scales wrapped around viscera of pure fire. But you might be surprised to learn that neither of these descriptions are true. Elected officials are real humans, like you! If you prick them, do they not bleed? If you tickle them, do they not laugh? Also, they poop and have huge boners, as you’ll see after the jump. MORE »

In today’s installment, we remember The Slaughter of The Cock: “I watched the man set the bird down, pinning it gently under one knee, and pulling its neck out across a narrow gutter. For a moment the bird struggled, beating its wings hard against the ground, a few feathers dancing up with the wind. Then it grew completely still. The man pulled the blade across the bird’s neck in a single smooth motion. Blood shot out in a long, crimson ribbon. Lolo rubbed his hand across my head and told me and my mother to go wash up before dinner.” As some Harvard guy writing in a small newspaper wrote today, “As we approach the critical months of the national campaign, Obama may need to recall the oedipal lessons learned from his stepfather or consult his notes on the Balinese cockfight.” Truer words. Wait, what? [The Free Lance-Star]

Here is “grand chessmaster” Garry Kasparov, who moonlights as the leader of the Other Russia movement, “a loose coalition of activists opposing Vladamir Putin and the current Russian government.” He gave a speech Saturday in Moscow when a FLYING HELICOPTER PENIS interrupted him, frightening the world, until some (gay?) dude swatted it down. Don’t believe us? Watch. [Sharenator, Waxy]

* Fred Thompson loves getting paid to act like a Nazi. [Real Clear Politics]
* Karl Rove and Christopher Hitchens get high, light candles, paint pentagrams on the floor, each other. [Election Central]
* Dennis Kucinich is a space cadet. [PrezVid]
* Ron Paul debates himself. [Hit & Run]
* Most famous hirsute penis in the land to party in DC next week. [The Sleuth]
* Yea, but Sudan only terrorizes its own people, so it’s fine. [Think Progress]
* NRA wants you to pry legally purchased guns from the cold dead hands of terrorists too. [Intoxination]

Art! In Washington! It’s a crazy idea, but the kids at artDC decided to run with it. They put a bunch of art in the convention center, then lured hipsters over with the promise of beer and Ian Svenonius!

And we sent Intern Nick and Liz Gorman to investigate just what these so-called “artists” were up to. Liz snapped pictures of the dance party that broke out, and Nick, after the jump, explains the terrible atrocities he witnessed.

artDC Party Gallery

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I’ll be on CNN’s Anderson Cooper 360 tonight, talking about this very dirty election campaign - and how the web may have made things worse than usual.

-Andrew Sullivan, the man who, according to the New York Times, has a penis for a head. MORE »