Tag: penguins

This is how I felt after I freed the slaves!

Congressmuffin Aaron Schock: I, Like Abe Lincoln, Am No Longer In Congress

The House Of Representatives is going into recess for two weeks, which means that ethically challenged CongressCheeks Aaron Schock had to do to his "So Long, Farewell" speech a few days early. Schock had previously promised to resign effective...

Science: Gay Hooligan Penguins Rape Dead Lady Penguins

We are sorry, but we now must apologize for every time we laughed at One Million Moms and the American Family Association and every mean old preacher and 14-year-old shock jock who has ever called for queers to get...

Why Are These Dastardly Spaniards Turning These Poor Penguins Gay?

Madrid, Spain, is the location for all those disgusting Pedro Almodovar movies about nuns and transvestites and nun-transvestites, and pregnant nuns caring for junkie transvestites. So it it any wonder that in Godless Madrid, zookeepers are turning poor penguins...

Here Is a News Story About Ancient Penguins

Here it is, like we said: Penguins didn't always boast tuxedo-like black-and-white markings, according to a new study. The discovery of the first ancient penguin fossil with evidence of feathers reveals the aquatic birds were once reddish-brown and gray. The...

Gay Penguin Couple Rent Asunder By Hussy

And this is why gay marriage will never work: "Silo and Roy, two male chinstrap penguins native to the South Atlantic, made headlines six years ago when they came out with their same-sex relationship. ... That all ended...