And this is why gay marriage will never work: “Silo and Roy, two male chinstrap penguins native to the South Atlantic, made [New York] headlines six years ago when they came out with their same-sex relationship. … That all ended when Scrappy, a single female newly arrived from SeaWorld in San Diego, caught Silo’s eye. … On Thursday, Roy, all alone, sat disconsolately at the edge of the penguin area, staring at the wall.” Jesus Christ that is about the saddest story ever written. [Fox News]

Here’s your “Friday Fun Link,” courtesy of BBC News and the Journal of Ethology. It is a King Penguin being sexually assaulted by an Antarctic Fur Seal. South African scientists photographed the freakish 45-minute sex crime, which only ended when the hundred-kilogram rapist seal couldn’t figure out how to actually copulate with the 15-kilogram ice bird, who was reportedly unharmed but deeply ashamed. [BBC News]

Remember how Al Gore didn’t announce he’s running for president last night? Well, just in case he gets any big ideas, Drudge wants you to know the dude is just a big-ass hypocrite who uses all the electricity which causes the global warming and then a penguin cries a single tear. MORE »