Tag Archives: peggy’s world

  worse than seeing a mexican

Jester’s Reporte: HRH ‘Patty’ Noonington Is A Communist

Good heavens! This electronick “ABCNews.com” reporte suggesteth that regent-lord HRH Peggington Noonington, chief wordsmithingtonshire of the Wall Street Journal banking pamphlet, is a Communiste, as though She keepeth court with textile-craffters or Chicagoe Africkans. Read more on Jester’s Reporte: HRH ‘Patty’ Noonington Is A Communist…
  peggy's world

Writer of Vague Feel-Good GOP Propaganda Upset By Confusing Facts

What is troubling our Upper East Side princess of wordsmithery on this fine Friday? Health care! Not the lack of it, of course — Peggy could give a crap about the 40 million Americans with no access to basic health care, the kind of wretched untouchables who never see a doctor outside of an emergency room, with a sick child, swollen with some easily preventable illness had only a pediatrician been something within economic reach. Peggy isn’t impressed by this liberal president already delivering government-backed health care for another 3.5m uninsured kids, either. What she wants, this wealthy Wall Street Journal columnist, is some soaring bullshit rhetoric about health care, on her teevee. Worked for Reagan! Read more on Writer of Vague Feel-Good GOP Propaganda Upset By Confusing Facts…
  peggy's world

Peggy Noonan Sees a Bright, Insane Future

Friday! Peggy! She has predictions, for you, your dogs, your hair, and especially for your abandoned skyscrapers. Peggy Noonan does not simply sit in her Upper East Side apartment gulping whisky sours while breathlessly watching RedTube clips, her small nervous hands clutching her crucifix, and other things. No! She looks outside, sometimes. She long suspected something was a bit different out there — once, not so many months ago, she ventured out on foot. Things had changed. The bustle was gone, the Mexican was no longer handing out advertisements and then running, in terror, as Peggy Noonan yelled Reagan-esque platitudes and tried to … catch this Mexican. It is hard to catch household slaves. It is a game for the young, really. Peggy remembers when she was young. It was the Seventies. Read more on Peggy Noonan Sees a Bright, Insane Future…
  felicitous turns of phrase

ALL IS FORGIVEN, PEGGY: OK so last week she forgot that George Bush was President during the 9/11 attacks, but this week holy crap! Here’s what Peggy Noonan calls Rod Blagojevich in a column titled “Rectitude Chic”: “a lipless, dull-featured, wig-wearing moron with a foul-mouthed harridan of a wife.” HA HA HA HA HA we may return to her column for more “analysis” later in the day, after we have had a few more cups of coffee and an 8-ball. [Wall Street Journal] Read more on …
  never forget

Peggy Noonan So Happy George W. Bush Prevented 9/11

Every day is Good Friday in the Wall Street Journal, because Friday is Peggy’s Day, and this week her wonderful Declaration is right there in the headline, “At Least Bush Kept Us Safe.” Wait, what? Let’s just ask the old Internets here and double-check, because it is so hard to remember, say, when TERRORISTS BLEW UP MOTHERFUCKING MANHATTAN, WITH JETS, WHICH RUINED EVERYTHING FOREVER. Read more on Peggy Noonan So Happy George W. Bush Prevented 9/11…
  fridays with peggy

PEGGY NOONAN WRITES HUMDRUM COLUMN THIS SEVEN-DAY!: Can you even believe it? She just has a bunch of modestly valid points jumping all over the place, but nothing about seeing a Mexican or viewing a “rabbity forest creature darting among the hedgerows” on her television machine. Has our Miss Noonington been reading Wonkette’s weekly scholarly criticism of “Declarations” and decided to tone down the neo-Victorianisms? ‘Twoud be a shame! FREE PEGGY NOONAN! [WSJ] Read more on …
 

Peggy Noonan Hates Republicans, Hearts Obama

Even more bad news for Republicans and John McCain today, courtesy of Reagan Revolutionary Peggy Noonan: Everybody loves Obama and hates the GOP, the end. Ha, not really. Peggy has a whole column to write, so she needs to explain exactly how badly the Republican Party will be stomped by the Democrats in November, even in slave states like Mississippi, where only Trent Lott’s family can legally vote. Let’s see what kind of weird new words and phrases Peggy makes up this week, after the jump. Read more on Peggy Noonan Hates Republicans, Hearts Obama…
 

UH OH — PEGGY NOONAN IS MAKING SENSE: Yes, she does scream in Latin at some point, but otherwise this week’s Peggy’s World is probably the best column on Hillary’s Last Stand. Scary times, scary times …. [Wall Street Journal] Read more on …
 

SOMEONE HELP PEGGY NOONAN, POST HASTE: Everyone we have a very severe problem facing our country: Wall Street Journal columnist Peggy Noonan is “finding it hard to feel truly upset about what [Jeremiah] Wright has said.” Medic? MEDIC? Not even 1,000 words of Noonington’s mellifluous prose could get her to feel upset about Jeremiah Wright. WHY CAN’T PEGGY NOONAN MAKE HERSELF GET UPSET ABOUT THIS? [WSJ] Read more on …
 

Ronald Reagan Also Had Good Ideas About Shoes

Peggy Noonan sees the world through a special pair of eyes — eyes that were pried out of Ronald Reagan’s head just moments after he tragically passed away in 1989. How do we know this? Because a women’s website asked Peg about shoes. Read more on Ronald Reagan Also Had Good Ideas About Shoes…
 

Peggy Noonan Went To An Airport

America’s finest opinion-writer-of, Peggy Noonan, recently visited an airport somewhere — possibly in West Texas, Oklahoma or Central California. She is the Merle Haggard of the Jet Age, the Woody Guthrie of business travel. Also, she is an old white lady and the TSA minorities are sticking the beeping wand between her withered old thighs, and that ain’t right! It’s unnatural, as she is not even an Arab! Let’s enjoy an Okie-Dog of Metaphors with the Op-Ed Princess of Bloomingdale’s, after the jump. Read more on Peggy Noonan Went To An Airport…
 

Peggy Noonan Is Confused By Scary German Pope

America’s greatest living political columnist, Peggy Noonan, has a heartbreaking new essay in the Wall Street Journal. Poor Peggers loved the previous, cute pope so much — she even wrote a book about him! — and now she’s stuck with this creepy old German with hollow eyes and the kind of personality that was really only effective in the military, during World War II, in Germany. Read more on Peggy Noonan Is Confused By Scary German Pope…
 

Our Hero Peggy Noonan Writes World’s Best Political Column

Ever since Reagan-era propagandist Peggy Noonan started reading Wonkette this month, we’ve all noticed a spring in her step and a bee in her brain. Peggy is back, and people have taken notice. According to an anonymous “liberal journalist” who tipped William Powers at the National Journal, Noonan now has “the best political column these days, by far.” Congratulations, Peggy! You are our shining city on a hill. [National Journal] Read more on Our Hero Peggy Noonan Writes World’s Best Political Column…