peggy noonan

The long Fourth of July weekend had come and gone. All across the country, proud Americans participated in the great traditions of the holiday: cookouts, boating while drunk, blowing their fingers off with illegal fireworks, to name a few. But not Sister Peggy Noonan of the Order of 2-For-1 Happy Hours. Her Fourth was spent […]

Summer in New York, and the stench of the garbage piled in the streets could not reach the sealed crypt, high above the bustling streets, where Sister Peggy Noonan of Our Lady of the Stinger With a Whiskey Back bided her time. Let other New Yorkers escape to the Hamptons, or their country homes, or […]

In her aerie high above the teeming avenues of her beloved New York, Sister Peggy Noonan of the Order of Beefeaters Straight leafed through the mail her man-servant had fetched from the box on the co-op’s first floor. She was in a dark mood, as so often seemed the case these days. The country was […]

You’re looking a little peaked. Let’s get you some Happy links stat. You wanted some TV recaps? We have TV recaps! Game of Thrones had a whole bunch of things happen that probably do not happen in the books and people are probably mad, but at least there was killing. Veep took a trip to […]

Did you watch This Week with George Stephanopoulos yesterday? Haha of course not. No big deal, because we have the clip that matters, where the roundtable discusses the ouster of Jill Abramson and we get to see Bill Kristol, nascent populist, and Peggy Noonan, budding socialist. So this roundtable feature is exactly like every other […]

Would it surprise her fans to know she did not believe in America showing off its military might with parades and ostentatious displays? After all, she had aligned herself with the far more jingoistic end of the country’s political spectrum for her entire adult life. Still, Peggy Noonan of the Order of the Sisters of […]

Ah, New York! She had missed it so, had Sister Peggy Noonan of Our Lady of the Joyless Orgasm. The trip to Rome had been just the tonic she needed, a break from the grind of noise and chaos and dodging over-aggressive Uber drivers that made up her life in the City That Never Sleeps. […]

She had begun to feel stultified and dull, cooped up in New York. Her favorite saloons, those places where she could pop in any time of the day or night for a nip of sherry or a bottle of Bombay Sapphire, had begun to feel soiled and low-rent, populated with goatee-sporting, noodle-armed young men wearing […]

Even one last blast of wintry weather could not keep down the indomitable New York spirit as the city’s denizens looked forward to spring, so much so that they were practically dancing in the streets in anticipation. Or perhaps they were dancing because many of them finally had access to affordable and comprehensive health insurance. […]

Some weeks a mere column cannot contain all the voices that echo through the vast Grand Guignol inside her skull. So Sister Peggy Noonan of the Sisters of Delirium Tremens must take to the pages of the blog that Mr. Murdoch has so graciously provided her at the Wall Street Journal’s website to entertain us […]

The sun shone for an hour later every day now, and with it the renewed energy of springtime. Sister Peggy Noonan of the Order of Glenlivet With a Splash of Water sat in her favorite saloon, examining the numerous tiny plastic swords, usually used for spearing martini olives but now olive-free and scattered all around […]

The winter had driven her crazy. All these snowstorms, all these months and months trapped in her home, barely able to go outside into the streets that the terrible Communist mayor refused to plow, all those days on her own because the snow prevented her man-servant from journeying to the Upper East Side from the […]

Crack! That blasted girl, that wench, had shattered her final highball glass as Peggy Noonan’s scullery maid. But Dame Noonan had not the spirit to dismiss her on this eve, so instead she conjured a weighty silence, an invisible pall under which this mousy strip of a girl would be permitted to clean the last […]

Dame Peggy Noonan knew she had to write about the cache of journal entries by Diane Blair about her Good Friend Hillz Clinton that had been published in the Washington Free Baconnaise, but she didn’t want to just dive into them like some sort of gossip — definitely not her style, darling; she’s got a […]

A new week broke in New York, but for Peggy Noonan, the depression that had invaded her soul like a column of Norman knights landing at Waterford kept her sluggish and listless as she moped about her chastely appointed apartment safe above the teeming hordes of Manhattan. Perhaps it was the long and brutal winter […]