Have you heard of Belgium? It’s apparently a little country somewhere in Europe. Belgium used to own Africa and invented chocolate and/or french fries and has problems with UFOs and pedophiles. You may have even unwittingly visited Belgium, if you’re a member of the European Union government or maybe traveled from England to “the continent” by boat in the days before the Chunnel train. To this day, some French people travel through Belgium by train on their way to get their heroin in Amsterdam. MORE »

We don’t really have any comment on the Federal Prosecutor guy charged with actually trying to fuck a five-year-old girl. Said the assistant U.S. attorney from Florida: “I’ve done it plenty.” [Above The Law]

Let’s meet today’s loathsome child-fucking politician. Yeah, he’s just some nobody legislative staffer for a state assemblyman, but Lamar B. Freeman’s crimes are so heinous that he deserves some front-page hatin’ — and ladies, this one’s a Democrat. But the story is so sick and convoluted that we’ll just let Wonkette Operative “Underclassed” do the explaining:

“The Reader’s Digest version is an ex-legislative aide for the former Assembly Speaker of New York just got sentenced to 13 years for repeatedly molesting a 6-year-old girl, and in the process infecting her with herpes. Also, he molested this girl’s mom years ago, driving her to drugs, and now fears for his cornhole in prison.

He’s a Democrat, for a change, but keep in mind that the Democrats in Buffalo are just as corrupt and shiftless as Republicans anywhere else.”

Ex-state legislative aide gets prison for molesting and infecting girl, 6 [Buffalo News] MORE »

Nobody is mourning the suicide of St. Petersburg City Council Chairman John Bryan — “a staunch Republican and former finance chairman for U.S. Sen. Connie Mack” — who sucked a tailpipe Friday afternoon after the story broke that he had sexually molested his adopted daughters and another little girl. MORE »

Jeez, the news sure was newsy back then, in 1982, when then-Congressman Larry Craig was also on national teevee denying he fucks boys. He was “unmarried by choice” at the time, and accused of getting Congressional pages HIGH ON COCAINE/MARIJUANA and screwing them at his house. MORE »

Considering Rudy Giuliani’s very special relationship with accused child-fucker/pedophile ringleader Monsignor Alan J. Placa, it seems like we should keep up with the priests-fucking-children thing because who knows how many of them will end up running DoJ or whatever if, by some terrible/orchestrated terrorist attack, Giuliani somehow becomes Dictator for Life. MORE »

Cross-dressing thrice-married abortionist Rudy Giuliani is building a “dream team” of consultants that so far includes a diaper-wearing hooker-fucker in New Orleans and a coke-dealing state treasurer in South Carolina. He seems to be lacking a pedophile on his team. Any possibilities out there? MORE »

Finally, we can put Cocktober behind us: The Republican House Leadership has just concluded that the Republican House Leadership is totally innocent of wrongdoing in the Mark Foley cover-up. MORE »