• The government will run into trouble with its loans once the Fed raises interest rates and might even lose its new 7-bedroom townhouse in Phoenix. [New York Times]
• Pedophiles keep molesting children, despite ankle monitor tracking devices things that strongly suggest they consider doing otherwise. [Washington Post]
• Short-term radiation leak at Three Mile Island this weekend! Pennsylvania is nuclear-capable, which means serious thought must be given to bombing it. [CNN]
• 21 Filipino hostages, including the wife of a guy running for governor, were killed after a rival political gang hijacked their convoy. [AP]
• The Brazilian President invited Ahmadinejad to Brazil, which is something the US might be mad about even though Ahmadinejad goes to New York like constantly. [LA Times]
• Here is the theme of today’s copy of the Internet: this MTV person had a totes scandalous performance on the teenager show. Everyone please hope Andrew Sullivan proves Bristol Palin is a hologram. [MTV News]

Apparently this wasn’t much of a news story when France’s Culture Minister Frederic Mitterrand actually wrote it in 2005, but now that he has supported Roman Polanski, everyone is pointing out the part of his memoir where he admits to loving little boy prostitute cock, in Thailand — the very same crime that Roman Polanski committed in the ’70s at Jack Nicholson’s house. MORE »

The New York Post journalism tabloid reports that an “agent with NAMBLA” has been cruisin’ the Internet message boards for kiddie wiener, and, more unusually, to offer people $10,000 to kill New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo. Apparently Cuomo’s been cracking down on child pornographers! And if he were to be “removed,” you see, then child pornography would probably be legal. [WROC]

Here’s a fun word puzzle for this wintry Friday afternoon. Guess why this guy’s in the news today: “The former Republican assemblyman, also a former television reporter, was an outspoken advocate of tough penalties for sex offenders.” That’s right, GOP politician George “Chris” Ortloff was caught in one of those online-pedophile sting operations, trying to line up some 11-year-old ass, but ha ha the “mom” he was trying to arrange the child sexytime with was actually a New York detective. Thank you, George Pataki, for appointing this wonderful pedophile to the, uh, New York State Parole Board. MORE »

Vice presidential “hopeful” and Louisiana’s Mexican boy-governor, Bobby Jindal, has just signed into law a very special bill, because he is incapable of vetoing anything and also because HE IS NOT OF THIS WORLD. The bill (now law) here is called “the Sex Offender Chemical Castration Bill, SB 144, authorizing the castration of convicted sex offenders.” You know, forced castration of human beings, by The State. MORE »

The biggest news story in the world is, of course, about some little ‘tween girl from Disney TeeVee who was forced to pose for naked photographs by an old lesbian photographer for Vanity Fair. This is very shameful, how Conde Nast let its magazine be used for half-nekkid pictures of an entertainer who is a girl child. The little girl only made $100 million dollars for having to be the star of Hannah Montana, which is the story of “Achey Breaky Heart” sensation Billy Ray Cyrus and his secret daughter who wants to be on teevee. The question is, which presidential candidate was more of a lech to the innocent little child, Obama or McCain? MORE »

The New York Times is pretty much on a “Pope Roll” today, and here’s the latest hilarious proof that should be in your NYT newspaper, if you are old and subscribe to the paper version. Here’s not-so-beloved Pope Joseph “Benedict XVI” Ratzinger, speaking to an overflow crowd of many thousands of “Victims of Sexual Abuse” at Nationals Park here in Washington. MORE »

A Vatican official suspended after being caught on a hidden camera making advances to a young man says he is not gay and was only pretending to be gay as part of his work. [Baltimore Sun/AP]

As the nation slips into a new “Not So Great Depression,” Republicans are embracing a new kind of Compassionate Conservatism that should appeal to poverty-stricken people who’ve lost their homes, jobs and traditional abhorrence of homosexuality and pedophilia. Leading the new effort is Wisconsin Republican leader and Brown County GOP Chairman Donald Fleischman, currently facing charges of child enticement, contributing to the delinquency of a child and exposing himself to a child — all because he (allegedly) wanted to show his love to a runaway boy! MORE »

Beloved “Christian Clown” and minister arrested in Illinois “for allegedly taking naked photographs of young boys at a Philippines orphanage.” But don’t worry, the clown was only there on a “clowning trip.” (PS: There are at least two Klutzo the Clowns in Illinois, and this one isn’t the Accused Molester.) [Agitprop]

A couple of NASA guys were caught with a bunch of child porn on their NASA work computers. [DailyTech]