Tag Archives: pedobear

  like taking candy from a baby

Fox News Pedobear Steals Children’s Candy To Teach Valuable Lesson About Kenyan-Islamo-Socialism

Oh conservative blogger and Fox News contributor Steven Crowder, Pedobear, really? That is how you are dressed while you steal children’s candy to “redistribute” it to make your waggish point about taxes = theft or whatever your bullshit is today? Sadface, Steven Crowder. Sadface! But let us get on to the “meat” of your “argument.” Is it as clever and hilarious as your thing about Batman? (No. Nothing could ever be as hilarious as that — except the time you went all icky about finally porking your bride after you were like a 30-year-old virgin or something, which was the funniest thing in the world. (Oh, that one was you being sincere about how superior the two of you were to all those lusty drunky fornicators? Our “bad.”) Read more on Fox News Pedobear Steals Children’s Candy To Teach Valuable Lesson About Kenyan-Islamo-Socialism…
  real solutions to fake problems

Pedobear Offers To Help Scott Walker By Teaching Wisconsin’s Kids

As union protests rage on and state legislatures are at a standstill, one figure has emerged on the side of Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker who can solve all of this: Pedobear. If Walker doesn’t value the teachers of his state enough to let them have worker rights, Pedobear is a perfectly good alternative. He loves children and is ready to teach them new things. Here’s your Wisconsin/Indiana crisis update. Read more on Pedobear Offers To Help Scott Walker By Teaching Wisconsin’s Kids…
  america fights back

Was Pedobear At Comedy Central Rally? Yes He Can!

If not for known Islamic person Cat “Yusuf” Stevens singing a terrorist song about the desire for peace on Saturday, this picture would be the most offensive thing to come out of the Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert rally on the National Mall. Read more on Was Pedobear At Comedy Central Rally? Yes He Can!…
  bring me your semis your corvettes your huddled scooter masses

New SarahPAC Video Announces Palin Is Commanding General of Teabaggers

“Sarah Palin Really Likes Flags,” says The Awl. Yeah, but too much. How did this split-second MUSLIM flag get into this video? The video editor must have accidentally hit the “Sharia” button on the editing machine. Anyway, as you can see, this video released by SarahPAC is about Teabaggers. Whereas the group’s first video declared Palin the leader of all wingnut women, with emotional, motherly music, this video declares Palin the leader of all Teabaggers — so it employs militaristic music sure to touch the insurrectionist hearts of those folks. Read more on New SarahPAC Video Announces Palin Is Commanding General of Teabaggers…
  ban comic con

California Sheriff’s Dept. Warns of Cartoon Bear Pictures On Internet

Even a serious political web magazine on the Internet such as your Wonkette knows about Pedobear, the dumb anime character cruelly repurposed by 4chan as the symbol of lecherous 18-year-old dorks chasing alleged 15-year-old girls around chat rooms. But the Sheriff’s Department of San Luis Obispo County has apparently never heard of such important cultural icons: Read more on California Sheriff’s Dept. Warns of Cartoon Bear Pictures On Internet…
  terrifying art

Meet the Wonkette Catholic Pedobear!

An artist who wishes to remain anonymous has painted this very fancy painting just for your Wonkette, as an upgraded version of the standard Pedobear, copies of whom are spreading throughout Italy as a means of calling the Pope a disgusting Nazi sex monster. We will call him Father Pedobear of Rapechildrenland, and you should plaster his image on the spires of your nearest Catholic church, for laffs. Thank you, very generous anonymous artist! Read more on Meet the Wonkette Catholic Pedobear!…
  vectors

Senate Pages All Have Swine Flu Pig AIDS

Considering the way DC interns and pages spend literally every waking hour exchanging bodily fluids and poop with each other and their middle-aged closeted bosses, the only thing surprising about the “Senate Pages Got The Pig AIDS” story is that the number of infected pages is only five. Jesus, about 98% of them already have syphilis and tuberculosis, so a measly five Swine-y flu pages in the nation’s foulest chamber of gross old men doing gross old things to weird children who volunteer for such pedophilia … well, that’s a pretty good argument for Swine Flu being “no big deal.” [True/Slant, KPCC] Read more on Senate Pages All Have Swine Flu Pig AIDS…
  whaaa?

Pedobear Chases Obama Around Internet

People are cold goin’ nuts over this Pat Buchanan article on some web site and why? Because he’s writing something about Richard Nixon or whoever? No, because it features this ridiculous picture of Barack Obama and a certain beloved molesting bear approaching him from the rear. Given the name of the photo file — “BHORainbowBear2_med.jpg” — it seems possible that whoever decided to combine Pat Buchanan’s Nixon column with a picture of Pedobear did not fully understand what that little cartoon character is really “about.” [Taki’s Magazine] Read more on Pedobear Chases Obama Around Internet…
  free candy

Dr. Pedobear Will See You Now

No, not at all! According to famous wingnut blog “The Drudge Report,” it is about a giant looming Pedobear who will “fix” your “health” by, uhm, raping children. Is that what you people want? Read more on Dr. Pedobear Will See You Now…
  gop in the news

Another Republican Politician Caught Trying To Screw Children

Here’s a fun word puzzle for this wintry Friday afternoon. Guess why this guy’s in the news today: “The former Republican assemblyman, also a former television reporter, was an outspoken advocate of tough penalties for sex offenders.” That’s right, GOP politician George “Chris” Ortloff was caught in one of those online-pedophile sting operations, trying to line up some 11-year-old ass, but ha ha the “mom” he was trying to arrange the child sexytime with was actually a New York detective. Thank you, George Pataki, for appointing this wonderful pedophile to the, uh, New York State Parole Board. Read more on Another Republican Politician Caught Trying To Screw Children…
 

Jenna and George W. Bush Have Very Creepy Father-Daughter Dance

Jenna and Henry are really married! But the very private 92-degrees-outside Texas wedding at the livestock pond at least offered George W. Bush another chance to do something embarrassing on the dance floor. Guess what song Jenna and Daddy chose for their special dance? Creepy yacht-rock fuck ballad “You Are So Beautiful,” that’s what. Let’s cringe together, after the jump. Read more on Jenna and George W. Bush Have Very Creepy Father-Daughter Dance…
 

New York Times: Pope Meets With Many, Many Victims Of Pedophile Priests

The New York Times is pretty much on a “Pope Roll” today, and here’s the latest hilarious proof that should be in your NYT newspaper, if you are old and subscribe to the paper version. Here’s not-so-beloved Pope Joseph “Benedict XVI” Ratzinger, speaking to an overflow crowd of many thousands of “Victims of Sexual Abuse” at Nationals Park here in Washington. Read more on New York Times: Pope Meets With Many, Many Victims Of Pedophile Priests…