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Posts Tagged ‘pdfs’

MONTHLY REPUBLICAN CONGRESSIONAL MINORITY UPDATE

Republicans Unleash Hilarious ‘Road To Recovery’ Plan On Embarrassed Public

Thursday, March 26th, 2009

Earlier today, while no one was caring, the Republican House leadership unveiled “The Republican Road To Recovery,” which is more or less the budget plan they pretend to support, even though they know it is 100% comical and will be rejected in full by Obama, thereby reinforcing his Communist public image just in time for the GOP to lose the next elections miserably, again. MORE »


GETTIN' ALL SNIPPY

Rick Perry’s Certification Of Stimulus Funds For Texas Is, Uhh, Funny!

Wednesday, March 4th, 2009

Wonkette’s Recovery.info troll “Daniel” informs us of this delightful section on the Obama Moneypage in which you can view scanned .PDFs of the various governors’ letters of certification of stimulus package funds (a.k.a the paper they sign to get their DOUGH.) Most of the states that have already signed their certifications are ruled by liberal Democrats who write simple, professional letters quoting the section of the legislation that requires their signing-off. Texas’ Rick Perry, on the other hand, writes a whiny bitch thing, because why is he even taking this money that he doesn’t want? MORE »


GREAT OFFERS

Computer Handbook Publisher Wants To Help John McCain, Personally!

Monday, September 15th, 2008

A Wonkette publishing operative has sent us this leaked letter (.PDF) from the Workman Publishing Co., publishers of the new book “Is This Thing On?”: A Computer Handbook for Late Bloomers, Technophobes, and the Kicking & Screaming, to McCain deputy e-campaign director Mark Soohoo. The P.R. person writes that folks are being unfair with McCain by calling him “computer illiterate,” and appears to think there’s a chance Walnuts might accept an offer to do a “special one-on-one training session” with the book’s author. Our favorite line: “Mr. McCain mentioned that he liked reading Politico.com, so he is certainly no novice.” [Letter (.PDF)]


REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION

GOP Convention To Be Blood-Soaked Reenactment Of Second Punic War

Thursday, July 31st, 2008

Thank you to Wonkette pamphlet operative “Taylor” for sending us this fantastic brochure from the Minneapolis Saint Paul 2008 Host Committee about the exciting upcoming convention. How rad will it be? Well if this pamphlet is any indication, John McCain will enter the arena with his seven children and two wives on a War Elephant — decorated in gold, rubies and fine silks — carrying the Sword of Gryffindor in one hand and the dripping, severed head of Chuck Hagel in the other; he won’t even have to speak because everyone will just be cold goin’ nuts at the sight of this. MORE »