Wonkette

We’ve been mum on the Paultard Blimp’s progress the last few days, but these abject failures are still going — and they’re headed north. The Blimp just landed in Norfolk, VA will continue along I-95 either today or tomorrow. You know what this means, Washington, right? Keep your sturdy, teabag-deflecting umbrellas on call.

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Ever since we called the Paultard’s Dec. 16th moneybomb an “abject failure,” Wonkette’s inbox has flooded with spambot hate mail the likes of which we’ve never (well, rarely) seen. Among the things we’ve learned the last two days: (a) We “neo-libs” fawn over Bill Clinton (b) I “am a child,” but “Ron Paul is a man” and (c) the word “slatternly” can be used without irony. But there’s just too much to recount briefly, so after the jump, we bring you some of the best Paultard mail of the week. Maybe we’re trolls, but at least we’re not abject failures. MORE »

To throw his kindly (wo)men-about-town supporters a bone, Ron Paul has said he’ll stay in the race through Super Tuesday on Feb. 5, basically because he kind of has to. But in speaking to the AP after an Iowa event Monday, Paul seemed to wish that he had all this money maybe several months ago. After all, it’s nearly bag-packing time for the second and third tier of candidates. MORE »

Congrats on your failure of a moneybomb, Paultards! That $20 million or so you’ll get in Q4 fundraising will go a long way towards fueling… jackshit. At least it will give you enough confidence to keep posting 80 billion sheisty new videos per diem, and we’re all about that. Be warned, readers. [YouTube]

I was going to wait until after midnight to post the results of the Dec. 16 Paultard moneybomb, but, well, reloading Ron Paul Graphs every 15 minutes takes its toll on the ol’ patience. It appears that “Tea Party 07″ will accrue $6+ million dollars, breaking the $4.3 million dollar tally from the Nov. 5 moneybomb. MORE »