Wonkette

I don’t know why I keep building up false hopes, but the Paultard Blimp’s expected launch from Elizabeth City, NC this morning has been postponed again. Now the Blimptards won’t fly until Friday morning, although they still expect to teabag Boston by Sunday. My ass! Why must they be the purveyors of such false hope? And how can we assume, with even a modicum of confidence, that this will fly at all — that it’s even real! — when the reason for the latest delay is that they can’t get the banners ready in time? Let’s see what Ron Paul Forums has to say about this incompetence. MORE »

Wake up bright and early tomorrow, kids! The Paultard Blimp will float Blimptardedly from Elizabeth City, NJ to Washington tomorrow, when it plans to bomb the Federal Reserve into non-existence. We’re glad our publicity could help make this dream of misguided spending into a reality. After the jump, a video of the Mother Ship 1 getting aired up for takeoff. MORE »

Is this Paultard attractive, or is she just another blimp? Oh, also — who the fuck is she? A gallery of this femmetard “Michelle” has appeared on Flickr. It appears the Paultards are learning about sex. Awww. [Flickr]

Oh and it’s a good’un. Listen to a country music original while watching some Blimptards parade through Aiken, SC this weekend. Apparently the guy who sings for Ford pick-up truck commercials also does blimps. You heard it here first. [YouTube]

If you’re like me and woke up at the crack of dawn for the latest news about today’s Paultard Blimp launch, well, it’s not happening. The official Elizabeth City, NC launch will now take place Wednesday morning. The Blimptards (self-explanatory subset) have planned their flyover (and teabagging?) of the Federal Reserve in DC for Thursday morning. Considering Paul’s whole deal about destroying the Fed, government security officials should feel pretty safe with this plan. [Ron Paul Blimp]

Donations for the Paultard Blimp reached the necessary $200,000 threshold this morning, meaning it will set sail (hover?) Monday from Elizabeth City, NC en route to Boston for its Tea Party on Dec. 16. Instinctively, we checked Ron Paul Forums to see what the latest Paultard step would be, and it involves mass pollution. MORE »

The Paultards are freaking, and it’s not just because of the big spambot disclosure. The Paultard Blimp is supposed to fly Monday, Dec. 10 from Elizabeth City, NC, en route to an eventual “Tea Party” in Boston to coincide with their latest moneybomb on Dec. 16. They need, however, $200,000 in real money — pledges, Liberty Dollars or Ameros won’t cut it now — by midnight on Friday in order to make the rental. Plus, there are all sorts legal entanglements and whatnot. For all of these reasons, Paultards are going mad mad MAD(DER than usual), and we’d like to document as much of it as possible.

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In today’s installment of new Paultard videos, we bring you the scariest woman on the entire YouTubes. She utilizes a common Paultard mode of expression: Wielding a nerdy, trite metaphor to describe all problems facing American government. And those crazy eyes! I bet her crazy eyes would appeal to Joe Biden. She should totes go out with Joe Biden! Talk about “feeding the beast.” [YouTube]

According to the official Paultard Blimp website, as of 10:42 this morning the blimp cause has drawn pledges totaling $474,175. It’s shocking enough that anyone would donate, say, more than zero dollars to start with, but the current sum is way above the $350,000 goal. It’s such a gross amount that the project’s leader is soliciting resumes for a paid position as “Blimp Treasurer.” You can apply right here.

Nick Farr, your Commenter General presence is required: Infiltrate the application process, earn the position and steal the 474,175 Liberty Dollars! Chop chop, soldier. [Ron Paul Blimp]

No, it’s not a blimp or a cat. Just a reg’lar Paultard rambling about Best Buy, beef jerky, freedom, our Constitu– Wait, what was that second one? Beef jerky? OMG, I think we’ve found a relative of Ben Johnson! [YouTube]

My, isn’t the realm of magnificent Paultard videos flourishing these days? Well there’s plenty of room on the YouTubes for every Paultard, not just the ones trying to buy blimps for campaign voyages to Middle Earth. In the accompanying picture you’ll find Paultard A, who last night stupided upon an even better way than blimps to spread Paultardism. Thankfully for our purposes, he e-mailed his Ron Paul listserve about the creative process:

Tonight I was playing with my cat with a laser pointer, thinking about Ron Paul as well as my newest toy an ancient Tibetan Singing Bowl.

Decided to throw the thoughts together and make a short video (less than a minute). The video doesn’t focus on spreading Ron Paul’s message, but does get his name out there by shear presence. The video is both animal fun and background advertising for Ron Paul. Consider sending the video link to your non-political friends to help further Ron Paul’s name recognition. (emphasis ours)

Paultard A’s brilliant study in subliminal psycho-advertising, after the jump. MORE »

Remember the Ron Paul Blimp? I know a certain Commenter General Nick Farr sure does. Well, the silly ‘tards behind the Blimp (whose website isn’t opening at the present) have made promotional videos for it. Like all things Paultarded, these two videos don’t make you hate your life or question the virtues of democracy. (Hint: I’m lying!)

Videos after the jump. MORE »