Wonkette

Ah, the video that started it all. But today it’s defeat, and not a blimp, that’s in the air. The Paultard Blimp has been returned after making its last “go” of things in Florida, which mostly resulted in elderly car accidents. From Ron Paul Blimp’s website: “Current Blimp status: The blimp is headed back home to it’s hangar in Elizabeth City, NC. The blimp did not receive enough sponsorships to keep it afloat any longer.” Hey now, that’s not the Paultard spirit we know! Is defeat a word, or a Mainstream Media “spin” tactic? That blimp will be in the air in no time! MORE »

A friendly tipster from Florida writes:

Driving home from work (early) down U.S.1 in Florida I noticed traffic slowing dramatically in front of our small municipal airport in New Smyrna Beach, Florida. As I drew near, I noticed a blimp at the airport, the Ron Paul blimp. However, it was not the blimp which was causing people to slow down. There was a small group of Paultards standing very close to U.S.1 waving Ron Paul signs. We have a large elderly population and the Paultards were apparently frightening the elderly drivers who in turn would hit the brakes.

To the elderly drivers of Florida: Don’t bother hitting the brakes next time. They’re illegals.

Hey, remember when Polaroid Liz asked Ron Paul if she could ride the Paultard blimp and he was like, “I dunno lady”? Well, it seems Paultard blimp central has finally caved in and offered her a ride above Dixie in the majestic “Beer Goggle Ron Paul” hovercraft. MORE »

Got a little distracted by these primaries, ignored the real news — the Paultard Blimp. Sorry! It’s still hovering (for at least a couple more days, pending funding) on Freedom fuel above the sunny racist skies of South Carolina. Sometimes it gets lost and flops around in Savannah, GA, where it meets up with local unawares news teams.

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Are the Paultards taking their cues from the ultimate Internetardation forebearers — the rabid supporters of Howard Dean? This link appears undeniable, at least regarding blimps. Maybe you all heard about this back in ‘03, ‘04 — I sure as hell didn’t, thank god — but Dean’s online supporters once tried to launch a blimp of their own, for all the same Paultarded reasons. Suddenly, the Internet is making a lot more sense. MORE »

Numerous tipsters in our Baltimore district have sent in witness reports today of the Paultard Blimp, which surprisingly wasn’t shot down as it flew overhead. As it happens, however, the blimp is a small target; its two (there are two now!) banners are Paultardedly small in font size. After the jump, one reader’s account of how this Paultarded “get the message out” venture doesn’t at all… you know… work. MORE »

We’ve been mum on the Paultard Blimp’s progress the last few days, but these abject failures are still going — and they’re headed north. The Blimp just landed in Norfolk, VA will continue along I-95 either today or tomorrow. You know what this means, Washington, right? Keep your sturdy, teabag-deflecting umbrellas on call.

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I was going to wait until after midnight to post the results of the Dec. 16 Paultard moneybomb, but, well, reloading Ron Paul Graphs every 15 minutes takes its toll on the ol’ patience. It appears that “Tea Party 07″ will accrue $6+ million dollars, breaking the $4.3 million dollar tally from the Nov. 5 moneybomb. MORE »

Sooooo the live feed of the Paultard Blimp today was a bust (shocker). I checked in on it every so often, and all I saw was two dudes stuck in traffic talking about Slim Jims. I much prefer Newsgroper’s Mini Ron Paul Blimp (promo above), which I am about to “pledge” $100,000 towards. Have a nice weekend, Blimptards! Hope the traffic clears up. [YouTube]

War on Paultards Commenter General Nick Farr led an ambush today on the unsuspecting enemy, which was busy celebrating the launch of its half-baked blimp. As you can see in the above screenshot from Justin TV’s divine chat room, General Farr’s ambush rattled some Blimptard sabers, and hopefully the blimp will fall now.

To commemorate General Farr’s brave sacrifice in the Blimp Day Offensive, we’re going to publish another one of his ceaselessly long, unedited and vicious rants. Read up, after the jump. MORE »

Out of nowhere, at approximately 12:15, the video feed for the Paultard Blimp on Justin TV started working, and some Paultard appeared! And then disappeared! Either way, it’s now time to embed this feed, which will hopefully bring us merry tidings of hilarity throughout the day. [Justin TV]

The Paultard Blimp — defying all odds, concepts of fiscal restraint and strains of Western logic — launched this morning from Elizabeth City, NC, en route to Columbia, SC for Sunday’s Tea Party. There’s a gallery of the launch here, and after the jump, a roundup of the Blimptards’ coverage. MORE »

Oh, so apprently there’s a Paultard Blimp official blog, and check out this moneybomb it dropped last night: This evening Airship Management Services and the Ron Paul Blimp Team reviewed the weather expected this weekend in Boston, MA. We have determined that there is less than a 10% chance that it will be safe to have the blimp in Boston or in flight to Boston on the weekend of December 15th/16th… Unless major, almost miraculous changes in the weather occur in Boston the Blimp will now be in Columbia, South Carolina on Sunday the 16th of December during the nationwide TeaParty.” [Ron Paul Blimp Blog]

I don’t know why I keep building up false hopes, but the Paultard Blimp’s expected launch from Elizabeth City, NC this morning has been postponed again. Now the Blimptards won’t fly until Friday morning, although they still expect to teabag Boston by Sunday. My ass! Why must they be the purveyors of such false hope? And how can we assume, with even a modicum of confidence, that this will fly at all — that it’s even real! — when the reason for the latest delay is that they can’t get the banners ready in time? Let’s see what Ron Paul Forums has to say about this incompetence. MORE »