Wonkette

When the Republicans lose virtually every election they run in this November, they will take about two minutes to do some “somber soul-searching” before they elect a whole new generation of corrupt swine to replace the shameful failed old guard. But wait for the shocking twist: the new Republican leadership will have a least a few members who aren’t ancient or gay. Meet your new Republican overlords, after the jump! MORE »

This week, you guys saw Paul Ryan, Mitch McConnell, Chelsea Clinton, Tim Kaine, Rick Santorum, Barack Obama, Chris Dodd, Dave Chappelle, and Scooter Libby wandering around DC (and elsewhere). Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump.

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Every week, our Anonymous Lobbyist answers your questions about how laws get made and why they probably shouldn’t. If you have a question about the dirty business of doing business in Washington, ask her.

This week: Guilt vs. Lust. Like that’s even a contest.

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* Gonzales testifies for seven hours about warrentless eavesdropping; defends legality of program but largely avoids providing specifics. Gonzales: “Think about the reaction, the public reaction that has arisen in some quarters about this program. If the president had authorized domestic surveillance as well, even though we’re talking about al Qaeda-to-al Qaeda, I think the reaction would have been twice as great. And so there was a judgment made that this was the appropriate line to draw in ensuring the security of our country and the protection of the privacy interests of Americans.” [WP, NYT, USAT, WT]
* Bush proposes $2.77t budget that would cut funds from most federal agencies while increasing military funding by 7%; deficit would be record $423b. The “patchwork of generosity and austerity reflects the priorities of Bush, who has defined his administration’s central goal as combating terrorist threats.” [WP, NYT, NYT, USAT, WT]
* Budget could be “risky election-year strategy” for Republican lawmakers. Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wis.): “Politically, the right thing to do this year is also the popular thing to do, and that is to cut spending.” [LAT, NYT, USAT]
* Budget predictions depend on tax overhaul, an end to the war in Iraq, and no new funds for the Gulf Coast. [WP, NYT, USAT, USAT]
* Republicans lack unity over eavesdropping issue. Sen. Specter (R-Pa.): “I think they are seeing concerns in a lot of directions from all segments: Democrats and Republicans in all shades of the political spectrum.” [WP]

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• Reliable Source: Bob Novak receives scolding after a fight with a fellow first class passenger: “Some guy pushed me and I pushed him back.”. . . Signatures restaurant shuts its doors. . . Tom Friedman wins the Financial Times/Goldman Sachs Business Book of the Year Award with a cash prize of $52,000. [WP]
• Under the Dome: Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) and Rep. Steve Pearce (R-N.M.) are growing beards for hunting season. . . Budget bill passes because of impromptu BBQ between Rep. Mike Castle (R-Del.) to Rep. Sherwood Boehlert (R-N.Y.), two key lawmakers. . . Sens. McCain and Lott attend University of Mississippi football game together. [The Hill]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Lloyd Grove’s autographed copy of Lewis Libby’s novel auctions for $90. [NYDN]
• Rush & Molloy: John Kerry attends NASCAR race in Miami. [NYDN]
• Page Six: Jenna Bush spotted at Fat Baby store in New York looking “absolutely lovely.” [NYP]