paul ryan

The House of Representatives voted 219-205 to approve the terrible Paul Ryan budget plan that everyone agrees doesn’t have a chance in the Senate and, for that matter, isn’t even likely to result in any actual spending bills in the House. But the sucker has been passed, and that’s an achievement right there; since it got […]

Are you done yet? Did you read all eight gazillion pages of the Ryan Budget, or did you stop after the first few lines and pleasure yourself thinking about his dreamy biceps? Well, we didn’t read it all either because we were distracted by whiskey. And his biceps. But luckily other people read it and […]

Professional Eddie Munster imitator Wisconsin Republican Rep. Paul Ryan had to be feeling pretty pleased with himself yesterday, raining all over B. Barry Bamz’s football-spikin’ party with a new 10-year budget proposal. Ryan’s lil’ April Fool’s Day prank would slash domestic spending by nearly 30 percent by 2024 (BIFF!), bump up Pentagon spending WAY over […]

A couple of weeks ago, I ended my column with a lie: “Next time:” I wrote, “What if Paul Ryan blew a dog whistle so loudly that everybody, not just dogs, could hear it?” Of course I had no intentions of writing about this “What If?” subject at all; I added it as a throwaway […]

This is the sort of thing that gets a blogger through a Tuesday, it really is: When retired Senator Alan Simpson got a call from a Des Moines Register reporter, he asked for a moment to get ready for the interview because he was “stark nekkid.” “Do you know the difference between naked and nekkid?” […]

If you follow Yr Wonket closely, you probably already know that Yr Editrix helped debunk Paul Ryan’s moving, mostly untrue CPAC story about how liberals are terrible people who want to feed hungry children food instead of brown paper, which truly loves them. True parts: there was a kid and a paper bag. The story […]

CPAC Straw Poll winner Rand Paul proved his serious leadership mojo Sunday, telling Fox News Sunday host Chris Wallace that if he were president, he knows exactly what he’d do in response to Russia’s invasion of Crimea: “I would do something differently from the president,” Paul said. “I would immediately get every obstacle out of […]

Paul Ryan is in the news for lying again, and Wonkette helped break the story, go us! The Washington Post cited yr Editrix’s post about a comment on this TPM story that noted how Paul Ryan’s tale of a young boy who preferred the brown-bagged love of his parents to the hard cheese of socialism was […]

The Gaylord National Resort is more than just a hotel with a name that makes pubescent boys snicker. It’s also a glassed-in mini-city with living trees and actual birds and tiny houses that hold patriotic gear stores and, for the second year, it is the Land of CPAC. Come along and let us visit this […]

Just minutes ago, we learned about wise children leading us to an understanding that … liberals do not love their children, and love comes in brown paper bags we guess? Like 40s of Colt? Paul Ryan used the story of a sad boy who didn’t want government cheese sandwich lunch, but instead wanted a paper […]

Paul Ryan, remember him? He’s the jackass Mitt Romney picked to shore up the conservatives who think Mitt Romney is a goddamn commie liberal. He likes to exercise, and whine and show alpha dog Joe Biden his belly. Well, recently, he’s been on an “I’m a big bleedingheart Catholic so my thing now is poverty” […]

Hold on to your hats, gentlemen, and clutch your pearls, ladies, because House and Senate negotiators have come up with a … wait for it… COMPROMISE! After you pick you jaws up from the floor, we shall dig through all the nooks and crannies of this funding agreement, forged deep in the depths of Mt. […]

It would be so exciting to live in a country where “Obamacare Medical Codes Confirm: Execution by Beheading To Be Implemented in America”, but PolitiFact says no, we cannot live there because there is a fire on its pants. Why is PolitiFact so mean to our childlike sense of wonder and our precious need to […]

Hey Congress, watcha doing? Making laws and working hard, ahahahhaha, yeah right, pardon us and our humor. The House has already skipped town to go home and await the arrival of White Santa, and the Senate just finished voting on the two-year compromise budget resolution, which passed 57-33. A COMPROMISE?!?! Yep, it seems that Sen. […]

Pity poor Weeper of the House John Boehner. He only just got the memo that conservatives are … how shall we put this delicately? … completely bugfuck insane: House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) on Thursday held firm in his criticism of outside conservative groups after a war of words Wednesday, questioning their credibility and saying […]