paul ryan
Paul Ryan’s ‘Sole Intern’ Is The Delightful Sextortin’ Sociopath You Expected Him To Be
Okay first off it must be said that nothing pains yur Wonket more than having to credit former Washington Times Editor and fancy-puter using white supremacist Robert Stacey McCain with publishing something that is genuinely interesting or relevant. But indeed, he seems to have found a piece of news that involves more than just rambling [...]
Paul Ryan Unveils Budget, Makes ‘White Rabbit’ Our New National Anthem
It is budget season again in Washington, D.C., which means it is time for the villagers in our nation’s capital to pretend that a plan written by Congressman Paul Ryan, who was last seen on election night icing down his tuchus after being spanked hard by Barry Bamz and Old Handsome Joe Biden, is not [...]
Mean Lawyer Booed Paul Ryan, We All Weep For Paul Ryan
Today’s morning revelation comes to you from the rough-and-tumble conservative blogosphere, which is now so tough that it is calling out individual people who are mean to congressmen. The most recent offender is Dan Freeman, who claims to have started the round of booing that greeted Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Faded Dreamland) when he made an [...]
Paul Ryan Focusing On Jobs With New Bill About One-Celled Embryos
Lucky you, Amercia, Paul Ryan (R-Complete Tool) is back at work and ready to focus on the issues. After all, Paul Ryan is a Very Serious Person who is Very Concerned about Jobs and The Economy! So when he was campaigning we were all bereft of his leadership on these and other pressing issues, and it was [...]
Watch Paul Ryan’s Wife Janna Stop Herself From Tearing Unemployed Guy’s Throat Out With Her Teeth
Here is a rather whiny guy (Millennial, obvs) who simply will not leave Paul Ryan alone, when all Paul Ryan is trying to do is mind his own business and walk in a Memorial Day parade or something and not talk to him about his silly old “can’t get a job” problem! He is WALKING [...]
On Behalf Of Fellow Women Everywhere, John McCain Accepts Richard Mourdock’s Rapebortion ‘Apology’
Richard Mourdock has “apologized” (no he hasn’t) for saying rape is Jesus’s special way of giving you something productive to do for the next 18 years instead of whoring around on Saturday nights like common trollops, and on behalf of us all, John McCain has graciously accepted his “apology”! So it’s cool you guys, John [...]
Paul Ryan Loves Poors So Much He Didn’t Even Punch This Homeless Man In The Face (Video)
Remember yesterday, when we learned that mortician’s apprentice* Paul Ryan likes to help poor people by doing jobs that have already been done? (And THANKS, Wonkette tip line tipsters, for asking this morning why we are not all over this. THANKS FOR READING, SO MUCH. Here, let us give you that link AGAIN.) And not [...]
Dishwatergate: Paul Ryan Dishwashing Scandal Worse Than Ever Imagined
In the distant past — a couple hours ago? — we saw on the Tweeter that utter douche Paul Ryan had done some stupid photo-op at a soup kitchen where breakfast had already been served and the dishes already washed. But never one to let a 15-minute investment be for naught, he picked up a [...]
A Children’s Treasury of Butthurt Reactions To Joe Biden’s Debate Demeanor
Say, did you notice that Joe Biden was just a little interrupty in the VP Debate? We are given to understand that Old Handsome Joe’s performance made a bit of a stir among some of the more sensitive souls on the right side of the political spectrum. (You see, when a Republican puts on an [...]
Vice-Presidential Debate Live-Bloog: Paul ‘The Kid’ Ryan Takes On Old Handsome Joe
What’s this, Sara Benincasa is joining us tonight, in our domicile? Does she have hair to braid? We will soon find out! In the meantime, here is the first and last nice thing we will most likely say about Paul Ryan tonight: Paul Ryan sends copies of NOBUMMER’s birth certificate to any constituent who writes [...]
Should You Give An Opinion On Rape?
Man, it is like you cannot even tenderly explain that “some girls, they rape so easy” without everyone making a FEDERAL CASE OUT OF IT. Paul Ryan is the latest fair-weather friend to drop an endorsement of poor misunderstood Wisconsin Rep. Roger Rivard, just for explaining his own father’s nuanced words of wisdom about how [...]
Totally Compassionate Paul Ryan Is Our New Quayle Palin
Paul Ryan, boy genius, is running around the country now desperately trying not to get ripped limb from limb by olds in their Hoverounds. As a part of this bold new “don’t fucking kill me” plan, Ryan is trying to talk to the regular folk using things they really, truly understand: botched Bible quotes (that [...]
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