Tag Archives: paul broun

  Working hard or hardly LOL?

Here’s How Your Do-Nothing Republican House Is Wasting Your Time And Money This Week

Congress
It sure does look like a busy week for the hard-working hard workers in the House of Representatives. Via Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy, here’s a glance at their very busy schedule. As you can see, Republicans are, as always, focused on job creation, which is why they will be taking up eight different bills to re-name post offices. For America! Read more on Here’s How Your Do-Nothing Republican House Is Wasting Your Time And Money This Week…
  stupor tuesday

A Children’s Treasury Of Primary Election Results. Neither Crazy Idaho Guy Won :(

In the closest thing to a “Super Tuesday” in this off-year election, a whole bunch of Tea Party candidates did worse than expected against “mainstream” Republicans who had better funding and who all sound like teabaggers now anyway. The biggest win of the night was less of a surprise now than it might have been a couple months back: Senate Minority Leader Mitch “Lord Terrapin” McConnell easily won his Kentucky Senate primary against Louisville businessman and chicken-boxing enthusiast Matt “B’kaww!” Bevin. Looks like institutional money and power are everything they’re cracked up to be. McConnell will face Democrat Alison Lundergan Grimes in November, and in his victory speech charmingly suggested that she is not a real Kentucky candidate, but a big Fakey McFakerton who will cram Obamacare down your throat, warning, “The people who handpicked my opponent are not on your side.” And so the Charm Offensive begins. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Primary Election Results. Neither Crazy Idaho Guy Won :(…
  Is our taxpayers learning?

Rep. Paul Broun Uses Tax Dollars To Learn Him How To Talk More Not Stupid

It is an election year, and if you have an appetite for wingnut stupid, you’re in luck, because the Republican Party offers an all-you-can-eat buffet. If you like your stupid Southern style, you are in extra special luck because it is super-sized in Georgia’s Republican primary Senate race. These folks have some big shoes to fill, what with Sen. Saxby Chambliss deciding he’s had enough of loving America more than that dirty anti-American hippie commie bin Laden-loving Max Cleland, who only gave some but not all of his limbs in service to his country. It’s been some fierce competition in the state whose motto is “Wisdom, Justice, Moderation.” Ha, Georgia, you have a great sense of humor! Read more on Rep. Paul Broun Uses Tax Dollars To Learn Him How To Talk More Not Stupid…
  it's gettin warm in herre so take off all your regulations

House GOP, Unable To Help Itself, Chooses Climate Change Denier To Head Environment Subcommittee

In a House of Representatives where Michele Bachmann is on the House Intelligence Committee and Paul “Evolution is a Lie” Broun and climate change deniers Dana Rohrabacher and Lamar Smith are on the Science Committee, it only makes sense that another climate change denier on the committee, Arizona’s David Schweikert, would be named to head the Science Committee’s environmental subcommittee. It’s really just a matter of balance, after all — if virtually all climate scientists agree that climate change is real, then you want to have laws that give equal balance to the opinions of nonscientists who watch Fox News and the views of engineers and scientists employed by the oil and coal business. That may not be how science works, but it’s certainly how politics does. Read more on House GOP, Unable To Help Itself, Chooses Climate Change Denier To Head Environment Subcommittee…
  creature features

Abandoned Research, Lost Opportunities, and Closed Labs, All In This Week’s Government Shutdown Sci-Blog

Hello, Wonketeers! It’s time for another bizarre & disturbing Wonkette Sci-Blog. Get out your phones and come on in — we’re Drunk Dialing Congress! We were looking forward to devoting this week’s blog exclusively to the celebration of one of the year’s most anticipated holiday seasons: Cephalopod Awareness Days. However, as you all know we’re almost two weeks into the meaningless shutdown of the U.S. Federal Government and still careening towards this coming Thursday’s economic default. Now I feel compelled to continue chronicling this international embarrassment of an ongoing crisis in our government. I am truly sorry. It’s hardly the Nice Time post that would make me happy to write about, but these are not nice times. The relatively sane adults remaining in DC are now actually speaking (well, some of them still are) and working with each other to reopen shuttered agencies, restart Federal programs, pay Federal bills and avoid the global catastrophe of U.S. debt default. Whether anyone can talk the House Dumkopf Conference into anything less than total victory remains to be seen — they only listen to their very own tunes. This ridiculous shutdown standoff has to end sometime. If it does end with no capitulation to the radicals’ demands,  removal of the debt ceiling as hostage and ending this cycle of manufactured  governing crises, some will say it was worth it.  They would be wrong. Read more on Abandoned Research, Lost Opportunities, and Closed Labs, All In This Week’s Government Shutdown Sci-Blog…
  creature features

Cosmic Fireballs, Water On Mars, And Why House Republicans Are Like Stoned Kids, All In This Week’s Sci-Blog

Hey there, Wonketeers! It’s time once again for another appalling Wonkette Sci-Blog. Fire one up and come on in. Sometimes it’s just not a good idea to let the Stoned Kid drive. Many years ago a group of us were driving around wearing various aspects of an Illegal Smile (as was the fashion of the time). The Stoned Kid who had been driving pulled up to the red stoplight at an intersection fairly competently and waited. So far, so good. Then, the left turn lane arrow switched to green. Stoned Kid sees the green arrow and floors the big American sedan straight through the intersection, grinning and blissfully ignorant of the enraged panel van driver he cut off. “Uh, Jesus! You just blew through a red light, Stoned Kid!” “What? No! The light was green!” “No, dammit! That was a turn lane! Your light was red!” “No! The light was green! GREEN MEANS GO!” “No, the arrow was green! Your light was red!” “Bite me! It was GREEN! GREEN MEANS GO!” Needless to say, Stoned Kid was forcibly replaced by a more able driver soon after and we all made it safely through that night. Sometimes you have to recognize who’s able to cope with reality and who isn’t. Read more on Cosmic Fireballs, Water On Mars, And Why House Republicans Are Like Stoned Kids, All In This Week’s Sci-Blog…
  it's the ecology stupid

Screw Your Salmon And Your Virgin Wilderness, Alaska, America Hungers For Molybdenum

How is Congress wasting everyone’s time today, besides all of the usual ways? Oh, here’s a good one: “Congress pushes EPA on giant Pebble mine.” No, not giant pebbles, which are just normal-sided rocks, after all; they mean the proposed Pebble mine, in Alaska, which is going to be a fucking disaster! This is a particularly infuriating waste of time even by Congressional standards because 1) Congress doesn’t have the authority to force any particular decision on the EPA (thank Christmas), and 2) Congress (obviously) wants the mine to go ahead, because gold, and copper, and economy, and jerbs, even though VERY FEW PEOPLE who live around the proposed mine want it, the Indian tribes don’t want it, and if the fish and the curiously un-raped (sorry, non-non-consensually-sexed) ecosystem could talk we bet they would not want it either. But what does Rep. Paul “Science is a lie” Broun think of all this? Read more on Screw Your Salmon And Your Virgin Wilderness, Alaska, America Hungers For Molybdenum… Read more on Screw Your Salmon And Your Virgin Wilderness, Alaska, America Hungers For Molybdenum…
  the final derptier

House GOP Will Explain To NASA All About This Space And Science Stuff

Hello, have you met the Republican wingnuts on the House Science Committee? They include: Paul Broun, who has told supporters that evolution and the big bang theory “are lies straight from the pit of hell,”  and Dana Rorhabacher, who once suggested that temperature fluctuations on earth millions of years ago can be traced to dinosaur flatulence. There is also good old Todd Akin, who has stated that “legitimate” rape cannot result in pregnancy because women’s bodies have a way to “shut that whole thing down.” So it is not really a big surprise that these learned men reviewed NASA’s carefully prepared plans, shot them to shit, and gave them new marching orders to complete on a reduced budget: Read more on House GOP Will Explain To NASA All About This Space And Science Stuff…
  analogies are the real terrorists

Georgia GOP Senate Candidate Paul Broun Fears IRS Papercut More Than Al Qaeda, Because They Are Same Thing

Do you cower in fear at the beginning of every April, with that fear intensifying until the middle of the month, when you have a nervous breakdown and open that Y2K bunker you stupidly built but now only use once a year? Because as we all know, the middle of the April is when the Tax Man Cometh, and HE IS TO BE FEARED!!!1! But just in case you were wondering how much fear you should be in, rat-faced, science-denying, goat-blowing ass-fer-brains Congressman Paul Bro un (R-GA, natch) wants to ensure the maximum amount of fear about the IRS: In a recent poll for his Senate campaign, Rep. Paul Broun (R-GA.) compares the Internal Revenue Service to a terrorist group, asking voters, “When you go to your mailbox or answer your phone, who do you fear more?” The poll, posted on Broun’s campaign website, lists “IRS” and “Al-Qaeda” as the two possible responses. Because thousands of people dying in a fiery collision of planes and buildings is totally the exact same thing as paper-pushers in Cleveland asking for more information so you can get government-sanctioned tax welfare. This is exactly what people meant when they said, “Never Forget.”   Read more on Georgia GOP Senate Candidate Paul Broun Fears IRS Papercut More Than Al Qaeda, Because They Are Same Thing…
  How can we miss you if you don't stay away?

Bob Barr To Attempt Worst Comeback Tour Since Great White

Speaking of the resurrection of hateful twats, did you guys hear that Bob Barr wants to return to Congress? America had a very close call last year with the state of Georgia, when human-shaped fluffernutter Newt Gingrich came within a couple of thousand delegates of being the GOP’s nominee for president instead of whatshisname, the guy with the hair. Then Saxby Chambliss, a man we know must be horrible because the NRA loves him, announced his retirement from the Senate. Perhaps America would get lucky and he would be replaced with someone who is not a total cockwagon? Read more on Bob Barr To Attempt Worst Comeback Tour Since Great White…
  give saxby chambliss his fucking swingline stapler

Senate Republicans Getting Down To Important Senate Business Of Whining About Their Office Space

Hey, US Senate! Anything important going on in the country, that you might want to put your grindstone-noses and beautiful minds to, for the people what you represent? Oh, you are very very busy touring each other’s offices, to see if you want to claim seniority and steal those offices like they are a game of Dirty Santa? And then you want to spend a whole bunch of time complaining if Dean Heller (R – The Tropicana) won’t show you his because he is bogarting a suite with an unusually large space? Well, it is good to know you are doing the people’s business and not acting like the pigs in Orwell’s classic “Animal Barn.” Read more on Senate Republicans Getting Down To Important Senate Business Of Whining About Their Office Space…
  good for bloggers bad for everyone else

Rep. Paul Broun Not Content With Making House GOP Look Dumb, Will Run For Senate Instead

The wait is over! After weeks of breathless anticipation (and one titillating Twitter rumor), Georgia Rep. Paul Broun has announced he is running for United States Senate, after an illustrious, storied career in the House that has lasted all of five years, and a chunk of a sixth. While everybody else is focusing on which Republican dunderhead will run for the vacated seat up in Massachusetts, speculation has been quietly brewing over who will run for the open seat of Sen. Saxby “Map Genius” Chambliss. And right now, our hero Broun is the only one in the running! Read more on Rep. Paul Broun Not Content With Making House GOP Look Dumb, Will Run For Senate Instead…
  Broun Note

Rep. Paul Broun Says Obama Upholds ‘Soviet’ Constitution; Nation Sighs & Rolls Eyes

Georgia Rep. Paul Broun allowed a torrent of raw stupid to tumble out of his mouth again this week, so let’s look at what this paragon of Americanism said this time. On Tuesday, Broun told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution “I think my role is to uphold support and defend our Constitution…The Constitution I uphold and defend is the one I carry in my pocket all the time, the U.S. Constitution. I don’t know what Constitution that other members of Congress uphold, but it’s not this one. I think the only Constitution that Barack Obama upholds is the Soviet constitution, not this one. He has no concept of this one, though he claimed to be a constitutional lawyer.” It’s sort of cute that he thinks he can be more inflammatory than, say, Michele Bachmann, who set the bar for questioning the loyalty of the Democrat Party way back in 2008, but we imagine that for Broun, brainless hyperbole about the President’s loyalty is just one of his job duties, to keep Teabag Nation fed. Read more on Rep. Paul Broun Says Obama Upholds ‘Soviet’ Constitution; Nation Sighs & Rolls Eyes…
  never give up never surrender

Very Smart Republicans: A Deal Between White House And House Might Need Democratic Votes To Pass

Do you know who is very smart? Tea Party congresspeople. Here are some of them moving their lips, with syllables and words coming out to form sentences, about the “fiscal cliff” or whatever, who cares, boring: “If he [Boehner] caves [on fiscal cliff negotiations], he’s going to have to get it passed with a lot of Democrat votes,” [Louisiana Rep. John] Fleming told Breitbart News after the press conference. “So, just like with the continuing resolutions, there’s anywhere from 40 to 80 to even 100 members on the conservative side who just simply vote against it, so it [a deal] gets passed only with Democrat help.” Do you know when those words, in that order, would be anything remotely like “news”? If both houses of Congress and the Executive branch were all controlled by Republicans. Like, does our buddy John Fleming think a Democratic president would not get Democratic votes on his deal? Presumably so, since obviously the only “compromise” is “cave to the GOP House entirely,” the same “compromise”John Boehner denies floating: permanent extension of the Bush tax cuts on the top two income brackets, and the White House coming up with a list of spending cuts the GOP finds satisfactory. Read more on Very Smart Republicans: A Deal Between White House And House Might Need Democratic Votes To Pass…
  All Over But the Shouting

Panty Prosecutor Wins, Evolution-Dumper Loses: Your Lesser Candidate Wrap-Up!

It occurred to us that we have not followed up on some very important electoral news: Namely, the fate of several candidates who nobody had ever heard of until they briefly shone in the “weird news” column, and then disappeared from view. What happened to those wackos with all their wackiness? Let it never be said that Your Wonkette doesn’t follow up! Read more on Panty Prosecutor Wins, Evolution-Dumper Loses: Your Lesser Candidate Wrap-Up!…
  mars curiosity rover 2016

A Children’s Treasury Of Ridiculous Write-In Votes Against Georgia Congressman and Witchfinder General Paul Broun

Rep. Paul Broun (R-Gethsemane) is in a pretty safe district, being that Georgia’s 10th is about as far-right and uber-religious as they come. Broun is the one, you recall, who is a medical doctor who does not believe in medicine, who runs around yelling things like — and we are not making this quote up — “All that stuff I was taught about evolution and embryology and the Big Bang Theory, all that is lies straight from the pit of Hell.” This time around, the gentleman scholar from Athens ran unopposed for his seat in the House — but that does not mean people did not oppose him. This post was originally about how 4,000 voters wrote in “Charles Darwin” against Broun, because how sad is that, that the poor libruls have given up fielding candidates and are now just voting for dead scientists. But! There is more! The charming folks at Flagpole magazine, because that’s what every business is called in District 10, have gotten a full list of write-in votes there, and they are fabulous, and your Wonket people have gone through all 371 pages of them, to bring you the big, grand, super-democratic list of candidates people would rather vote for than Paul Broun. (Okay, and a few other races that didn’t have a Dem on the ticket.) Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Ridiculous Write-In Votes Against Georgia Congressman and Witchfinder General Paul Broun…
  hell is full of scientists

House Science Committee Member Paul Broun Has Excellent Reason For Believing Science Is Of The Devil

Last week, we got a friendly reminder of the power of that special, enlightened voting bloc that likes to look at facts and say “no, thank you.” We got that reminder in the form of Georgia Rep. Paul Broun (R-Eden), who took the stage to make sure everybody knew that just because he went to college doesn’t mean he believes in crazy things like evolution and embryology, because they are “lies straight from the pit of hell.” Science has tricked people, you know, in a clever ploy to make them think they don’t need Jesus. We the pitiable, atheistic masses finally got a response yesterday from Meredith Griffanti, Broun’s no-doubt exasperated spokeswoman (who thinks LGBT folks look “interesting”). No, the clarification does not make anything any better. Read more on House Science Committee Member Paul Broun Has Excellent Reason For Believing Science Is Of The Devil…
  Jesus these people

Hero Rep. Paul Broun Takes Bible-Based Stand Against Hell-Spawned Lies of ‘Science’

Speaking in front of a wall of glassy-eyed dead deer to an audience of glassy-eyed Christians at last month’s 2012 Sportsman’s Banquet at Hartwell, GA’s Liberty Baptist Church, serial Obama-speech-boycotter Rep. Paul Broun (R-JesusJesusJesusland) single-handedly disproved evolution and the Big Bang, and embryology, for good measure, revealing that they are “lies straight from the pit of Hell.” Read more on Hero Rep. Paul Broun Takes Bible-Based Stand Against Hell-Spawned Lies of ‘Science’…
  whiners whining

Twitter Bars GOP Lawmaker From Attending Obama Jobs Speech

Isn’t Twitter just the best? Thank Allah for Twitter, teabagger Rep. Paul Broun will not have to sit through Barack Obama’s filthy jobs speech in front of Congress. Instead, Broun will be obligated to keep his tradition of hiding in his wicked Washington opium cave during Obama’s important addresses so that he can bark mangled opinions — about what, the horrors of employment? — from his Twitter account during the speech like some feverish Taliban warlord with a fear of irrelevance and an Internet connection. Don’t worry so much, Paul Broun, no one was assuming you or anyone else in the Tea Party were going to be listening that whole time, anyway. Read more on Twitter Bars GOP Lawmaker From Attending Obama Jobs Speech…
  tone deafness

Rep. Paul Broun Urges Debt-Addicted America To ‘Give Up Its Country Club Membership’

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy It is more or less redundant for us to type about “debt ceiling negotiation updates,” because in plain English this just means “members of the Tea Party continue to be intransigent dicks.” But the news media is still bravely trying to figure out why national financial collapse is somebody’s actual political platform, so here is Andrea Mitchell incredulously asking Tea Party member Rep. Paul Broun why he refuses to vote for any of the debt bills. “When someone is overextended and broke,” Broun says, “they don’t continue paying for country club dues, they drop out of the country club.” THAT IS A TRAGIC STORY if you are an old rich white man. And so what about the hundreds of millions of Americans who’ve never even seen a country club from the outside? Can those people have their economy back?  Read more on Rep. Paul Broun Urges Debt-Addicted America To ‘Give Up Its Country Club Membership’…
  why do we have to use the 'assassination' tag so often?

Town Hall Crowd Laughs When Person Asks Who’s Going To Shoot Obama

Republican Congressman Paul Broun of Georgia held a town hall meeting on Tuesday. Generally these days when a member of Congress meets with her constituents, she is shot in the head, but because President Obama made America more civil, the crowd simply asked, “Who’s going to shoot Obama?” Assassinating the president is a hilarious non-sequitur, so the crowd laughed. Broun, you will remember, was the guy who refused to attend the State of the Union this year and instead sat in his office and tweeted about how socialist Obama is, so he unfortunately missed the part of the speech when Obama revealed who’s going to murder him, and Broun was unable to pass this information along to his constituent. Broun didn’t condemn the question, of course. He simply agreed that people hate the president. Read more on Town Hall Crowd Laughs When Person Asks Who’s Going To Shoot Obama…
  finally!

GOP Congressmen Start Throwing Civil War References Around

The best part about passing this health care bill, AND THERE ARE SO MANY GOOD PARTS, is all the assassinations and torrential violence we’ll have across the country, from confused people! FOR IT HAS HAPPENED HERE BEFORE: you know of what we speak. The “War of Yankee Aggression,” as Georgia Rep. Paul Broun calls it here. The old health insurance system will go the way of the Confederacy, he says. Good? [Washington Monthly] Read more on GOP Congressmen Start Throwing Civil War References Around…