Posts Tagged ‘paul broun’

Congressional Hearings Make For Great Baroque Madrigals

Thursday, September 3rd, 2009

Barack Obama has everything he needs to take over the world (1,000 kilos of moutarde de Dijon, his mother-in-law’s crystal ball, and uh, Brookstone Tempur-Pedic Comfort-Step slippers). [TPM]
In the words of Lenin: “A lie told often enough helps Jim Inhofe manage a chubby.” [Think Progress]
L’Alberto, a new opera by the great Monteverdi, retells the Greek tragedy of an attorney general who ventures to the Underworld, but then doesn’t recall how or why. [The Daily Dish]
Azerbaijan, also known as “Egypt” if you subscribe to Fox News Geographic, is very sensitive about donkeys. And human rights. Best not to bring either up, if you happen to visit Cairo. [AMERICAblog]
For Pete’s sake, how much cocaine did you people snort in the ’80s? Were you brushing your teeth with powder? Apparently, because according to Matt’s fancy Excel graph, you all got totally ripped and bought a new Porsche every day. Props. [Matt Yglesias]

Friday, August 14th, 2009

PAUL BROUN IS A RESPONSIBLE CONGRESSMAN: This is the Georgian asshole’s own obnoxious underlining scheme in a fundraising letter, not ours: “In other words: When mama falls and breaks her hip, she’ll just lie in her bed in pain until she dies with pneumonia because her needed surgery is not cost efficient.” You know he means it, because that’s one bitch of a sentence to format. [TPM]

Monday, July 13th, 2009

Your name is John Ashcroft, and you are in the hospital recovering from life-saving surgery that replaced your gallbladder with a pig’s heart. It’s a good thing you have so many caring friends! Tom Ridge sent you a bald eagle named Freedom, and Karl Rove gave you a beautiful bouquet of fired US attorneys — put those in a vase! And George Bush, well, he personally delivered something very special to your bedside, while you were napping. [TPM]
Bill Clinton is pledging a fraternity! But what will his frat name be? Chuckles? William Whitebread? Broseph Bill? Spectacular men need spectacular names. Phi Beta Sigma needs your help! [HuffPost]
Eric Holder says he might consider shaving his mustache off. And Dick Cheney’s secret CIA human organ black market might be investigated. Listen closely, Christian Soldier: the liberals are trying to distract us. The Attorney General ain’t shavin’ nothing, and don’t even worry about Cheney, we’ll find him a new heart. These are just distractions! [RedState]
America’s leading Orwell scholar Rep. Paul Broun (R-GA) has declared, “Quality health care at an affordable price is gonna kill people.” Yes yes, and 2 + 2 = 5. Stop boring us with the obvious, Broun! You and thousands of other Americans passed 7th grade pre-algebra. [Think Progress]

Tuesday, November 11th, 2008

Sarah Palin has been making fun of bloggers for living “in their parents’ basement.” Twice she has said this thing without anyone reminding her that Alaska is America’s basement, with a dusty old tanning bed and a Treadmill or whatever, and Wasilla is like the crawlspace in that basement, filled with asbestos, middle school report cards and and some meth, from the 90s. [AMERICAblog]
Find out who’s a Mormon and who’s a Gay with this Hollywood starmap of Proposition 8 results. [Top of the Ticket]
Obama campaign manager David Plouffe—you might recognize the name from your deleted mail folder—doesn’t want to be DNC Chairman, a dumb job that even maple-flavored hysteric Howard Dean won’t keep doing. [Marc Ambinder]
Georgian peach Rep. Paul Broun keeps Hoping Obama isn’t another Hitler, but when Obama keeps acting exactly like Hitler, it’s becoming very difficult. [Crooks and Liars]
Rumors are swirling that Bill Clinton is in the tank for Joe Lieberman and has been offering phone sex to Dems (in the form of a dramatic reading of the Starr Report) in return for votes that would allow Lieberman to keep his chairmanships. [HuffPost]