Tag Archives: paul begala

  at 25 years you get two furries

Wolf Blitzer Molested By Furry

Here is Wolf Blitzer on Larry King Live Guest Hosted By Paul Begala, For Some Reason, celebrating his 20 years of terrible service to America’s most mediocre cable channel! As is traditional in Ted Turner’s empire of depravity, Blitzer was rewarded for his service with an on-air sex act with the furry of his choice. Read more on Wolf Blitzer Molested By Furry…
  discourse on the origin of inequality

Meghan McCain And Bill Maher Refuse To Let Willow Palin And David Letterman Drive Another News Cycle

Histrionic personality disorder heiress Meghan McCain joined Bill Maher and Friends on the Bill Maher comedy program last night. First Daughter, First Love remains mercifully unghostwritten as of yet, so why is beautiful young Meg McCabe such a commanding presence on America’s teevee programs and digital news traditions as of late? Verily, a mystery! The Bill Maher comedy show doesn’t know either, as evidenced by the producers’ exquisitely accurate description of our gal’s qualifications, pictured above. Dumb Matt Yglesias must be “in” with the HBO web interns! Read more on Meghan McCain And Bill Maher Refuse To Let Willow Palin And David Letterman Drive Another News Cycle…
  no thank you

Carville And Begala Still Begging To Double-Team You For $5

James Carville and Paul Begala: they are lurking in the shadows of our nation’s capital, hidden behind a mysterious “door,” and when you open that door they will jump out wearing Batman suits and rape you before they steal your kidneys. Find out how you can get in on this one-in-a-millennium sexytime action, after the jump! Read more on Carville And Begala Still Begging To Double-Team You For $5…
  disgusting orgies

James Carville & Paul Begala Will Double-Team You

Let’s see, it’s … yep, it’s a day of the year, so that means another exciting “Help Hillary Pay Her Campaign Debt, With Your Money, Instead of, Say, the Clintons’ Fortune” email. Today’s spam comes from the “Actual Psychopathic Cajun,” Mary Matalin’s equally frightening spouse, James Carville. Just hit that DONATE button and fork over the cash and you may win an exciting and very sexy time with horny ex-president Bill Clinton, or an even sexier time with Carville and Paul Begala. Read more on James Carville & Paul Begala Will Double-Team You…
  wonk'd

Paul Begala’s Witchcraft Tiger Familiar Spotted At Stetson’s

Man, the inauguration, remember that? All sorts of famous people went to Washington D.C. to see the most famous celebrity of all, Michelle Obama. Wonkette readers spotted such elusive figures as “Paul Bengala,” a rare tiger-pundit hybrid, as well as “Matt Laurer,” a retired wrestler and morning talk show host. You also saw legitimate celebrities such as Tom Brokaw, Kurtis Blow, and Miss France. Most importantly, Kev-O-Tron and SayItWithWookies got to hang out with each other in “real life,” which is just adorable. Details after the jump. Have you left your basement recently and seen somebody sort of famous, preferably a person kind of related to politics? Send your reports to tips@wonkette.com with the subject line “Wonk’d.” Read more on Paul Begala’s Witchcraft Tiger Familiar Spotted At Stetson’s…
 

Paul Begala Hates Mark Penn So Very Much

Former Bill Clinton strategist Paul Begala, the squirrelly hobbit to James Carville’s mangy elf, spoke at a breakfast in New York City this morning and used the occasion to vent about how much he hates Mark Penn, Hillary’s ex-Chief Strategist and current chief strategist. Because everyone hates Mark Penn and that is why he is… still working for Hillary Clinton! But do most “Clinton people” go so far as to compare Penn to Donald Rumsfeld? The hobbit goes, because the hobbit knows. Read more on Paul Begala Hates Mark Penn So Very Much…
 

James Carville and Mary Matalin Live in Pink Hellhole

In the upcoming January 2008 issue of Architectural Digest, readers can check out the house in which Democratic strategist James Carville and Republican strategist Mary Matalin enjoy their weird marriage. Of course, a normal-looking house wouldn’t really suit well with the craziness of either. That’s why they have a very pink, cosmic, acid-trip of a house. Pictures of the Crazy, after the jump. Read more on James Carville and Mary Matalin Live in Pink Hellhole…
 

Free as a Bird

This week, Joe and Hadassah Lieberman, Henry Rollins, Ian Svenonius, Paul Begala, Harriet Miers, Ralph Nader, Conrad Burns and Scooter Libby were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump. Read more on Free as a Bird…
 

Rumors On The Internets: Love The Iraq War As Thyself

* Hate crime legislation makes Jesus cry. [Traditional Values Coalition via Pandagon] * Mike Huckabee’s son busted for carrying a handgun and at least 50 extra pounds through the Little Rock airport. [Radar] * Iraqi government spokesman Dan Bartlett not happy about the timeline bill. [The Left Coaster] * And neither is Joe “I Hold Harry Reid’s Life In My Hands” Lieberman. [GOP Bloggers] * Paul Begala is so fucking pissed at that “gasbag” David Broder. [HuffPo] * Sam Brownback’s in the closet … on immigration. [Hit & Run] Read more on Rumors On The Internets: Love The Iraq War As Thyself…
 

A Request for Our Readers: Paul Begala Screen Caps, Please

A reader just emailed us: paul begala is wearing a dumbass hunting uniform on the situation room right now.. Sure enough, we turned on our television, and there he was — in “a dumbass hunting uniform.” Can someone please send us a screen cap? Read more on A Request for Our Readers: Paul Begala Screen Caps, Please…
 

Daily Briefing: The Car Metaphor

* Two top judges questioned the legality of warrentless eavesdropping twice in the past four years. [WP] * White House agrees to provide additional information to House Intel Committee about NSA eavesdropping. [WP, NYT] * Bush condemns violent reaction to cartoons that mocked Islam as Condoleezza Rice says Iran and Syria “have gone out of their way to inflame sentiments and have used this for their own purposes.” Bush: “We reject violence as a way to express discontent with what may be printed in a free press.” [WP] * Years of “significant cuts” will be necessary to meet deficit goals. [WP] * Sen. Arlen Specter (R-Penn.) proposes that a special court provide oversight of eavesdropping. [USAT] * Bush, aiming to “bring fiscal sanity” to Washington, signs bill limiting growth of Medicare and Medicaid. Bush: “People call it a cut in Medicare. That’s not a cut. It’s slowing down the rate of growth. It’s the difference between slowing your car down to go the speed limit, or putting your car in reverse.” [WP, NYT, USAT] * Democrats strive for “understandable” agenda with their own “Contract for America.” Paul Begala: “If it were up to me, I’d be tougher and meaner. But you’re trying to unite a diverse party.” [USAT] Read more on Daily Briefing: The Car Metaphor…
 

Wonk’d: Remains of the Day

Throughout the day, we’ve delivered celebrity sightings of Bob Novak, that human-animal hybrid; more Supreme Court justices than you can shake a stick at; and the man that everyone’s talking about, Jack Abramoff. Now we bring you an added bonus: a sighting of a possible future POTUS, Senator John McCain! Sitting in National, waiting to catch the shuttle flight to NYC, when McCain sits down in front of me. Multiple people keep coming up to him to talk. A woman in her mid 50’s comes up and says, “Why, Senator McCain, you are so much better looking in person!” McCain says thank you. As she leaves, I lean in and say, “Senator, I know how hard it is to be so devilishly good looking.” McCain starts cracking up, and I continue by saying, “I’m glad that worked — it was that or a Jack Abramoff joke!” The laughing stops; McCain proceeds to raise his paper over his face. I get up and walk away. Good stuff! And the fun’s not over yet. Go the jump page — click on that pointing finger — for sightings of such boldface names as Susan Collins, Tony Williams, Mark Warner, Karl Rove, Joe Lockhart, Paul Begala, Bill Frist, and many more! Read more on Wonk’d: Remains of the Day…
 

Decoding the Note: Sugar Land Success?

Wonkette readers are no Googling monkeys, but they do know their way around a high school yearbook. Two theories dominated the guessing game about the meaning of this headscratcher: * A SMART SUGARLAND MOVE BY BEGALA, per the Washington Post: “Adults With Wisdom Teeth Often Develop Gum Disease.” (That one is an inside joke intelligible to precisely seven Note readers.) LINK First: Paul Begala is from Sugar Land, he had his wisdom teeth removed while there, and thus is one smart guy, able to pat himself on the back this morning after a general round of back patting generated by the the rest of the morning’s news. This is not much of a joke, but it does make some kind of sense. Read more on Decoding the Note: Sugar Land Success?…
 

Decoding the Note: Blegging for Help

As some readers may remember, Wonkette periodically offers a “Decoding the Note” service, wherein we unscramble the onanistic self-references of Washington’s most insufferable political tipsheet so that civilians can also appreciate their insidery tediousness. Today, however, we admit that we’re stumped: Read more on Decoding the Note: Blegging for Help…