Wonkette

By March or April or whenever it was that she got fired, everybody knew that Patti Solis Doyle was personally responsible for every single thing that went wrong with the Clinton campaign, except for the things Mark Penn and Bill Clinton and the candidate herself and even Harold Ickes were responsible for. Ms. Doyle was banished to her native Chicago uranium mines with only her public humiliation to keep her company, until the Obama campaign hired her, with predictable results: the Clinton people went insane with rage. MORE »

• NEED… MORE… UNITY: “A day after Obama wrote a $4,600 check to Hillary Clinton, First Read has learned Bill and Hillary Clinton have returned the favor, donating the maximum to the Illinois senator’s campaign, a Clinton spokesperson says.” And Patti Solis Doyle has already spent all of this Unity Money on snow shovels for the upcoming Florida battle. [First Read]

A couple of days ago the Obama campaign proudly announced that it had hired Patti Solis Doyle, the most loathed ex-Clinton campaign staffer in the world besides Mark Penn, and a chorus of OH NO HE DID NOTs echoed around the Interblogosphere as horrified political dorks contemplated the meaning of this travesty. Worry no more, because Barack Obama himself explained it all yesterday. MORE »

The biggest investigative report during the endless Pennsylvania primary run-up involved Barack Obama bowling with some Bitters and Sen. Bob Casey, where he rolled a pathetic 37. He was so distraught over his big city fairy’s performance that he stopped campaigning altogether and played basketball — at which he excels — instead. But the man has demons, demons that require a focused purging, and that is why he now plans on destroying the White House bowling alley and replacing it with a court for his game, which, again, is basketball. MORE »

Barack Obama’s presidential campaign is hiring like CRAYZEE these days, and one of the people they just brought on board is a gal by the name of “Patti Solis Doyle.” You might remember her for driving the Clinton campaign into a ditch with her bazillion-dollar donut budget, megawatt smile, and general air of failure. Now she’ll bring that same magic to Generation Obama as the chief of staff to the yet-to-be-named VP candidate: a person whose name is almost certain not to rhyme with “Zillary Blinton.” MORE »

From the Politico: “Hillary Clinton’s former campaign manager and confidante, Patti Solis Doyle, and Senator Barack Obama’s top advisor have informally discussed the former Clintonite’s going to work for the Obama campaign in the general election.” No one disregardeth thy high madam whilst fighting in a campaigne! And to the Afrikan: shouldst thou hire the Spanish beauty, protecteth thine coffers. [Politico]

After Clinton’s big win Tuesday night, she pulled in over $3 million on Wednesday, and now wants another $3 million today. Hurrah! Now, Hillary: you need to tell Patti Solis Doyle that she can’t order those $24 million “top shelf margaritas” at the Reagan Airport TGI Friday’s anymore! IT’S JUST CUERVO AND SHE SHOULD KNOW THAT. [via The Caucus]

Yesterday, Hillary replaced campaign manager Patti Solis Doyle (left) with Maggie Williams (right). Doyle is a lovely Latina starlet; Williams is somehow more… Barackish? Maybe it’s just the image playing tricks. But why is this “Maggie” maybe slightly famous? MORE »