American torture hero and semiemployed former congressjerk Allen West is very, very concerned about this “Tammy Duckworth” person having agreed to be on the Big BenghaziPalooza Special Committee, because how can Americans be sure she actually loves America, and is not some kind of legless traitor like Max Cleland?

Hi, Wonkaloonies! Yr Doktor Zoom really enjoyed “sleeping in” this week! But we are back from vacation now, and ready for another Derp Roundup, our weekly Sloppy Joe of news trimmings that were too stoopid to ignore altogether but not quite enough to make a full post out of. We have to use ‘em before […]

Welcome to a Very Special Armistice Day Edition of Derp Roundup, our weekly accumulation of arglebargle that was too stoopid to ignore altogether, but not quite enough to do a full post on. Let’s ring in the Derp with this bit o’ conspiracy theorizin’: Mitt Romney mighta won the 2012 election if only that power-mad […]

Oh golly guys, Bette Midler tweeted this thing on the Fourth of July, she must Hate America almost as much as that Chris Rock guy!

Everyone knows that literally the only thing wrong with America is that we are racist against guns. This deficiency of our national character has proved vexingly difficult to correct, even with all the flattering press guns have been enjoying lately. But that’s all about to change, because nutty radio-man Adam Kokesh is the MLK your […]

Wow, Your Wonkette is maybe in danger of becoming Bradlee Dean Fanservice Central, but let us just say, the man does keep giving, does he not? Let us not forget that, when he’s not having his lackeys send empty legal threats to innocent mommyblogs, Mr. Dean also has a very important job as a professional […]

Are little Jimmy and Janie coming home from school with a bunch of godless socialist ideas about “redistributing toys to other kids who haven’t had a turn” and “waiting in communist bread lines to go out to recess?”  If you are worried this kind of Soviet indoctrination is taking hold of your youngster in our […]

Speakers Up.. Tissue Box Opened::: If you want people to get the chills, and instill a sense of pride in our country and military, this is the one! This gripping, patriotic film short is great to honor vets, remember the fallen and teach kids the price of their freedom. Yes, this Teabag thing is perfect […]

Gustav Bozarth is a homeless man who lives in El Paso, a city in the Holy Sovereign Nation of Texas. Every day, he probably has to deal with people telling him to “git a jawwwwwwb” or calling him a “buhhhmmm,” or maybe just ignoring him. But now that surveillance video of Bozarth folding up a […]

The next Fourth of July is only 363 days away! And you still don’t know the Declaration of Independence, or who we declared the independence from, or anything else, really, you’ve never really been counted among America’s “best and brightest.” But this video message by the House Republicans can help you memorize that Declaration thingie […]

Today is Flag Day, when we celebrate the time Betsy Ross beat one of her slaves who was really good at graphic design until he came up with a flag that was suitable for a young, self-important nation. And we also commemorate that one time when Teddy Roosevelt beat up a guy who was blowing […]