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Tag: Patriotism

Sorry, Hate-Crimers, You Can’t Use ‘Donald Trump Told Me To Beat Up Foreigns’ As A Defense

If you can't say Donald Trump inspired your hate crime, what has become of Justice?
So there.

Trump Campaign Explains Hinky Trump Foundation Donations: It Was Hillary Clinton, Duh.

The Donald Trump campaign's official response to evidence the Trump Foundation paid for Donald Trump's private business: 'Neener-neener-neener.'

Donald Trump Used $258,000 From His ‘Charity’ To Pay Legal Fines. Impeach Hillary Clinton!

You're probably going to be as astonished by this as you were by all of Trump's other crooked deals. Believe me.

Walmart And Coca Cola Team Up For 2016’s Best 9/11 Tribute!

9/11 turns fifteen this weekend. In honor of this occasion, a Florida Walmart wants you to celebrate the tragedy's Quinceanera with cases of Coca-Cola sugar water. Here's our "synergy" of the week: In an attempt to honor a local firefighters'...
You have the right to free speech as long as you're not dumb enough to actually try it.

Donald Trump Ready To Deport Sportsballer Colin Kaepernick For Anti-Flag Crimethink

America is a land of boundless freedom, as long as you don't say anything unkind about it in relation to the flag or national anthem.
Why's everybody always picking on him? He's a winner!

Tyrant Barack Obama Warns Trump Is The Real Deal

President Obama's speech at the DNC Wednesday offered some thoughts on who the un-American candidate in this election is. It's the guy who has a list of demands, not policy proposals.
If only Democrats loved America. Sad!

Donald Trump Wishes Democrats Would Maybe Use Some Patriotic Imagery, The Commies

Predictably, Donald Trump insists Democrats don't love the flag enough. It's a star spangled lie, but he'll get mileage out of it.

Jerk America-Haters Won’t Wish Allen West Happy Independence Day

Allen West is here to police your holiday greeting habits.

Fox News Doc Wishes Facebook Loved America Instead Of Murder

Dr. Keith Ablow has thoughts. They are bad thoughts.
The giant flags are a bargain compared to the jets, of course

Pentagon Blew Millions On Patriotic Sportsball Displays. Let’s Cut Science Budgets!

Terrific news! You'll be delighted to know the Pentagon doesn't always waste its massive budget on dumb war stuff. Sometimes it wastes parts of it on dumb sportsball stuff, too: roughly $6.8 million to pay for exciting patriotic displays...
Thanks General Washington! Now we can mention your slaves again!

Colorado Voters Murder Founding Fathers, For The Kids

A small victory for reality-based education in Colorado Tuesday, yay! Voters in the state's second-largest school district recalled three conservative school board members who last year tried to require Advanced Placement U.S. History classes to teach students how to...
There. Much better without that nonsense

Tennessee Republican Demands Schools Delete Islam From History, Because 9/11

To mark the anniversary of the attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, Tennessee state Rep. Andy Holt is calling on the state to revise the history of Islam out of its social studies standards, because obviously...
Nothing more patriotic than a flag-waving beaver shot

Homeschool Mom Protests ‘Muslim Indoctrination’ At School Her Kids Don’t Attend

A super-patriotic homeschooling Tennessee mom organized a protest Friday against what she was pretty sure is Islamic indoctrination of children in the public schools, although she pulled her own child out of the public school system last year because...
Nothing's more American than an anime girl in a flag bikini

Finally, A Real Plan To Rid Nebraska Schools Of Commie Infiltrators

Hooray! The spirit of McCarthyism is alive and well in Hastings, Nebraska, where for the first time in ages, the local school district has asked all its teachers to comply with a 1951 state law requiring all teachers to...
Actual photograph

The People Have Spoken, And Obama Does Not Love America

It's a good thing Republicans have been questioning President Obama's patriotism -- finally! -- because it turns out they're just saying what we've all been thinking: Obama probably doesn't love America. A new Huffington Post/YouGov poll found that less than...

The Weekend Stock Photo Report Doesn’t Love America

In this installment of The Weekend Stock Photo Report with Weekend S. Photo, Rudy Giuliani is an asshole even by his standards, Bill O'Reilly is full of shit even by his standards, and Oklahoma is ignorant etc. Missed last week's...