Tag: patriot act

Your Senate Sunday: Oregon’s Ron Wyden Probably Not In Much Danger From ‘Blah Blah Blah’ Dude

U.S. Senator Ron Wyden probably won't have to worry about losing his seat to a perennial Oregon candidate who's most famous for storming out of a candidate forum.
You have to admit it's a nice hat

Rightwing Senator Isakson Maybe Not Insane Enough For Georgia. Your Senate Sunday!

Our weekly tour of the 2016 Senate races visits Georgia, where a political novice is running a longshot campaign to unseat a two-term Republican incumbent. Needless to say, it's a bit messier than that.
Actual wall will be built even more bigly

Donald Trump Will Cut Off Mexico’s Ear Unless It Pays Him One MILLION Dollars

Donald Trump is making what sounds like new news to everyone with his exciting plan to pay for the Mexico Border Wall by seizing remittances sent by immigrants to their families in their home countries -- presumably whether those...
It's almost as if we wanted one of these gents to look bad.

Russ Feingold Seeks To Retake Senate Seat From Teabagger Crapsack Ron Johnson

We've got another fun Senate race for you this week, kids, and this one's actually a rematch: In Wisconsin, former Sen. Russ Feingold wants to win back the seat that teabagger, would-be Obamacare-murderer, and all around schmuck Ron Johnson...
Not pictured: Neil Young flipping Donald Trump off behind his back.

Here’s A Few More Lefty Neil Young Songs For Donald Trump To F*ck Right Off To

It's the same old story. Asshole wingnut decides to run for president, decides that the song he's ALWAYS wanted to use is this lefty liberal anthem written by a lefty liberal rock star, and the lefty liberal rock star...
D'oh

Senate Unanimously Votes To Protect Us From Terrorists, With Craft Beer

Congress is terrible at getting things done -- and not just because the House and Senate spends so much of the year not being in session. Unless we're talking about dumb, unimportant things like passing empty resolutions or renaming...
Actually ...

Hero Rand Paul Saves America From NSA Spying, At Least Until Tuesday

The Senate took the highly unusual step of working on the weekend to pass the USA Freedom Act -- after it failed to do so and took a whole week off for Memorial Day anyway, like all regular Americans...
A moment of lucidity

Strangely Lucid Rand Paul ‘Filibusters’ Patriot Act, Will Get Back To Being Insane Tomorrow

Rand Paul spoke for 10 1/2 hours Wednesday against the Patriot Act and NSA surveillance, doing that thing that he does where he makes a lot of sense for a while before his next inevitable plunge into pure libertarian...
Guess they forgot :(

America-Hating Appellate Court Says NSA Can’t Read All Your Sexts To Fight Terrorism After All

You've probably forgotten by now that time some terrorists damn near destroyed America with boxcutters, and we had to rewrite the Constitution to save the Constitution, so the terrorists would not win. So Congress passed a law that says...

Someone Please Explain Rand Paul’s Job To Rand Paul

Yr Wonkette has never spent any time in the state of Kentucky, or even known anyone from the state of Kentucky, so we are forced to conclude that the vast majority of Republican voters there are drooling, shuffling imbeciles...

From France, Obama Forces His Robot To Sign Patriot Act Renewal

Republicans and Democrats came together to oppose the renewal of the Patriot Act -- which lets the government do literally whatever it wants to anyone, anywhere -- and then other Republicans and Democrats came together in bigger numbers to...

Teabaggers & Democrats Join To Defeat GOP Patriot Act

Haha, what? The Los Angeles Times reports: The Republican-led House failed to pass an extension of expiring sections of the Patriot Act on Tuesday, an unexpected setback for GOP leaders that shows the difficulty they face in controlling their majority and...

The End Times Aren’t Looking So Bad Right Now

The out-of-control Patriot Act allowed one of Obama’s best friends, a BLACK BEAR, to waltz into some poor family’s home, eat their fruit, and steal one of their most precious toys, ALL WITHOUT A WARRANT. As predicted in the...

Faux ‘New York Times’ Reveals Hippies’ Vision For Utopian Future

Some liberal group of liberals produced a fake edition of the New York Times revealing all the wonderful things that will happen once hippies rule the world, next July. The evil corporate Harvard Business School will close forever; George...

‘Times’: New AG Not Exactly RFK II