Tag Archives: patriot act

  Wonkette Music Hour

Here’s A Few More Lefty Neil Young Songs For Donald Trump To F*ck Right Off To

Not pictured: Neil Young flipping Donald Trump off behind his back.
It’s the same old story. Asshole wingnut decides to run for president, decides that the song he’s ALWAYS wanted to use is this lefty liberal anthem written by a lefty liberal rock star, and the lefty liberal rock star is like, “Fuck off, I did NOT say you could use my music, and also I hate you.” This time, it’s Neil Young, and he’s real pissed that Donald Trump decided to play “Rockin’ In The Free World” as he waddled onstage to announce that he’s pretending to run for president again. Young’s manager released a statement saying that “Donald Trump’s use of ‘Rockin’ in the Free World’ was not authorized,” and also, “Mr. Young is a longtime supporter of Bernie Sanders.” Read more on Here’s A Few More Lefty Neil Young Songs For Donald Trump To F*ck Right Off To…
  Here have some news n stuff

Senate Unanimously Votes To Protect Us From Terrorists, With Craft Beer

D'oh
Congress is terrible at getting things done — and not just because the House and Senate spends so much of the year not being in session. Unless we’re talking about dumb, unimportant things like passing empty resolutions or renaming yet another post office, and then our elected leaders are SO on top of it: Read more on Senate Unanimously Votes To Protect Us From Terrorists, With Craft Beer…
  They hate us for our freedoms or maybe just Rand Paul

Hero Rand Paul Saves America From NSA Spying, At Least Until Tuesday

I'm here to protect your freedom or at least ask for your vote
The Senate took the highly unusual step of working on the weekend to pass the USA Freedom Act — after it failed to do so and took a whole week off for Memorial Day anyway, like all regular Americans do. But while Majority Leader Mitch McConnell had wanted to pass a clean bill to protect our freedoms from the terrorists who want to read all our sexts and listen to our phone calls — oh wait, that’s the National Security Agency, not the terrorists, whatever — one brave senator stood in the way and blocked the bill, for freedom or at least for grandstanding and fundraising for his laughable presidential campaign: Read more on Hero Rand Paul Saves America From NSA Spying, At Least Until Tuesday…
  They hate us for our freedoms

America-Hating Appellate Court Says NSA Can’t Read All Your Sexts To Fight Terrorism After All

Guess they forgot :(
You’ve probably forgotten by now that time some terrorists damn near destroyed America with boxcutters, and we had to rewrite the Constitution to save the Constitution, so the terrorists would not win. So Congress passed a law that says the government can do pretty much whatever it wants, to protect America. They called it the USA Patriot Act, because of how it is so fucking patriotic and you can’t vote against a bill that has PATRIOT right there in the name because that means you hate America. And freedom. And you are not with us, you are with the terrorists. Turns out, a three-judge panel of the Second Circuit Court of Appeals does hate America: Read more on America-Hating Appellate Court Says NSA Can’t Read All Your Sexts To Fight Terrorism After All…
  what exactly is it you do here anyway?

Someone Please Explain Rand Paul’s Job To Rand Paul

Yr Wonkette has never spent any time in the state of Kentucky, or even known anyone from the state of Kentucky, so we are forced to conclude that the vast majority of Republican voters there are drooling, shuffling imbeciles who spend their free time boring holes in their skulls with dull instruments, for funsies. How else to explain the presence of Rand Paul anywhere outside of that asylum from “American Horror Story?” Read more on Someone Please Explain Rand Paul’s Job To Rand Paul…
  robots running everything

From France, Obama Forces His Robot To Sign Patriot Act Renewal

Republicans and Democrats came together to oppose the renewal of the Patriot Act — which lets the government do literally whatever it wants to anyone, anywhere — and then other Republicans and Democrats came together in bigger numbers to approve the renewal of the Patriot Act. So if you were planning on doing anything vaguely terrorist-y like talking on the phone or using public transportation, rest assured that you are still under surveillance. But the interesting part of this story is that President Obama couldn’t sign the bill because he is in France, having a very lovely vacation. Couldn’t Joe Biden sign off? Apparently not! Plus, he is super busy returning Obama’s calls. So Barack Obama ordered his handwriting robot to sign the bill into law, and that’s apparently okey-dokey with the Constitution. A robot! Let’s hope it was at least assembled in the USA. Read more on From France, Obama Forces His Robot To Sign Patriot Act Renewal…
  9/11 is a joke

Teabaggers & Democrats Join To Defeat GOP Patriot Act

Haha, what? The Los Angeles Times reports: The Republican-led House failed to pass an extension of expiring sections of the Patriot Act on Tuesday, an unexpected setback for GOP leaders that shows the difficulty they face in controlling their majority and its “tea party”-inspired members. Read more on Teabaggers & Democrats Join To Defeat GOP Patriot Act…
  rumors on the internets

The End Times Aren’t Looking So Bad Right Now

The out-of-control Patriot Act allowed one of Obama’s best friends, a BLACK BEAR, to waltz into some poor family’s home, eat their fruit, and steal one of their most precious toys, ALL WITHOUT A WARRANT. [Daily Intel] Read more on The End Times Aren’t Looking So Bad Right Now…
  left-wing propaganda

Faux ‘New York Times’ Reveals Hippies’ Vision For Utopian Future

Some liberal group of liberals produced a fake edition of the New York Times revealing all the wonderful things that will happen once hippies rule the world, next July. The evil corporate Harvard Business School will close forever; George Bush will be tried for war crimes; and the Patriot Act will be repealed by a 99-1 vote, with only a drunken Jon Kyl dissenting. Jesus, reading this thing is like crawling in Medea Benjamin’s brain. Come join us in a tour of this bleeding-heart masturbation pamphlet. Read more on Faux ‘New York Times’ Reveals Hippies’ Vision For Utopian Future…
 

‘Times': New AG Not Exactly RFK II

The Times urges us all not to be fooled. Mukasey may seem moderate but he loves the Patriot Act, detaining Muslims, and Claus von Bulow. And he’s backing Rudy for Prez. So before you get all happy with Mr. Nice New Attorney General ‘Won’t Thow Me in GItmo Forever’ keep in mind that he will still be Mr. Attorney General ‘Tapping All My Phones Without a Warrant.’ Read more on ‘Times': New AG Not Exactly RFK II…
 

A federal judge has overturned a bunch of the Patriot Act illegal eavesdropping stuff because it’s all unconstitutional and we still have a constitution, somewhere around here. [MSNBC/AP]
 

If It’s Tuesday, There’s Verifiable Proof of Gonzo Lying

On April 27, 2005, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales told the Senate intelligence committee that there hadn’t been a single case of the FBI violating civil liberties since the establishment of the Patriot Act. Naturally, this means that there had been at last six reports of “legal or procedural violations” that Gonzales had personally received. Read more on If It’s Tuesday, There’s Verifiable Proof of Gonzo Lying…
 

Save America! Ron Paul For President!

While Democrats and Republicans on the Hill continue their “Yeah but now I’m against it” routine, Texas Congressman Ron Paul doesn’t have to issue any apologies. He was always against the invasion and occupation of Iraq, and he’s running for president. Read more on Save America! Ron Paul For President!…
 

Daily Briefing: Political Hot Potato

* House Republicans set vote on Dubai port deal for next week despite White House resistance. House Majority Leader John Boehner (R-Ohio): “This has become a very hot political potato.” [WP, NYT] * Military spending for Iraq and Afghanistan will reach $117.6b this fiscal year. [W$J] * Harold Ickes, with George Soros, are sidestepping the DNC to create a massive nationwide voter list. Ickes: “The Republicans have developed a cadre of people who appreciate databases and know how to use them, and we are way behind the march.” [WP] * Congress renews Patriot Act by vote of 280 to 138. [WP, NYT] * Senate Select Committee on Intelligence rejects Democratic calls for inquiry of NSA eavesdropping; White House agrees to new oversight rules. [WP, NYT, W$J] * The CIA is not interested in cooperating with the Libby investigation by providing classified documents. [WP, NYT] * Sen. Clinton moves to tie up money and talent for ’08 race. [NYT] * Cato Institutes vents beef with Bush. [WP] * Rep. DeLay wins Republican primary in Texas. [AP] Read more on Daily Briefing: Political Hot Potato…
 

Daily Briefing: Let’s Go to the Tape

* Video shows Bush was warned about the potential for a levee breach, despite denials after the fact: “Was the president misinformed, misspoken or misleading?” [WP, USAT] * Louisiana Gov. Kathleen Blanco hesitantly told Bush that the levees were safe on the morning of Aug. 29th. [AP] * U.S. and India announce deal for nuclear cooperation, for energy and weapons; “new plan would allow India enough fissile material for as many as 50 weapons a year.” [WP, NYT, W$J] * Senate passes renewal of the Patriot Act by vote of 89 to 10. [NYT] * 54% disapprove of Bush‘s handling of the war on terrorism and 64% say the country is on the wrong track, according to LAT-Bloomberg poll; findings echo new Gallup poll. [LAT, Bloomberg, USAT] * Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-Calif.), chairman of the House Armed Services Committee,vows to stop Dubai port deal. [WP, W$J] Read more on Daily Briefing: Let’s Go to the Tape…