Ted Kennedy’s been dead for what, a decade or so, in Kennedy-zeitgeist years? It is high time America’s other Senators begin tactlessly speculating about who will get his ritzy deluxe Capitol Building office! Here are the specs: third floor, the Capitol Building, Mall views, “a rustic coffee table that appeared to be hewn out of the old deck of a sailboat,” etc. etc. “It sounds pretty,” said Alabama Senator Richard Selby. First, that coffee table thing actually sounds a bit kitschy. And second, hey, fuck you Richard Selby, show some RESPECT. That office belongs to Ted Kennedy’s ghost until Senate Rules Committee chairman Chuck Schumer gives it to someone else… But WHOM? MORE »

What do politicians and political types do besides hold fundraisers and plot the latest childish prank against their enemies? They go to Starbucks! So if you want to see somebody “famous,” in the sense of “seated next to Roland Martin in the fourth hour of CNN primary coverage last year,” you should definitely hot-foot it to your local chain coffee store. After the jump: sightings of luminaries such as Michael Steele and James Carville at the Starbucks; heartthrobs Mitch McConnell and Stephen Colbert schlepping around transportation centers; and twopeat Wonk’d featuree Patrick Leahy at a half marathon. MORE »

Life in DC was exciting for about two and a half seconds when Brad Pitt visited in order to make out with Nancy Pelosi in her private chambers. Oh and then Richard Gere popped by also, which nobody cared about so much. Has Richard Gere been in a movie where he shows his admirable lack of vanity by starting out all gross and warty and gradually aging into a beautiful young specimen of flesh? Nope. Anyway, in lieu of Pitt sightings we bring you word of such handsome hunks as Trent Lott, Jonathan Martin, Patrick Leahy, and Christopher Hitchens.

When you go to your local Harris Teeter do *you* see somebody who looks vaguely familiar, and there you are racking your brains wondering if you should say hello or not, and then you remember you saw them on “Hardball” talking about agricultural subsidies? Send us word of these life-changing events! Write to tips@wonkette.com with the subject line “Wonk’d.” MORE »

Did you spend double-digit money this weekend to see the Most Important Film Of Our Time, Batman Vs. The Dead Gay Cowboy Clown? YEAH YOU DID BECAUSE YOU LIKE HIGH ART. As we’ve mentioned previously, the dead Joker harasses Sen. Patrick Leahy at some fancy Washington cocktail party (Capitol File?) in this Work of Deep Brilliant Cinema, which is based on a comic book for children. And because Pat Leahy is a whore in real life, he has written a review of the film for known modernist film trade publication The Hill. It is an exciting review which you can read in its entirety after the jump. MORE »

What motivates Senator Patrick Leahy? Money? Sex? Sex for money? Public service or whatever? No. No. No. It is Batman, and only the Batman, that gives Pat Leahy the will to live, in Washington. He was briefly seen (but not heard) in the Batman and Robin movie of a few years ago — the one with George Clooney’s chilly nipples. And last August, we reported that Leahy was set for a speaking role in The Dark Knight. See the exclusive & terrifying video, after the jump. MORE »

Ralph Nader may think Hillary Clinton is in with the Corporates, sure, but Ralph is in with Democracy. That’s why he is so disturbed about Obama supporters pressuring her to drop out of the race. He was so shocked, aesthetically, when Sen. Patrick Leahy told her to drop out last week that he wrote a poem for Hillary. It is a beautiful poem, written in free verse. Hell, why stop there? It is actually the most beautiful poem since one of Shakespeare’s many poems. You should read it after the jump, if you have any feelings. MORE »

Vermont Senator Patrick Leahy, an Obama Guy, today called for Hillary Clinton to drop out of the race and support Barack Obama. He is the first major superdelegate to declare this publicly. And earlier this morning, Howard Dean urged the uncommitted superdelegates to make their preferences public. Unless Hillary gets all of the uncommitted superdelegates, and then steals other delegates, she will have officially lost. But does Howard Dean have a plan for the 150,000 Hessian mercenaries that Hillary has employed for her last-resort military coup? [LA Times]

Patrick Leahy has subpoenaed Karl Rove, which means Rove must testify before the Senate Judiciary Committee — but not really, although the Senate and House continue to sort of act like they have some kind of authority over the White House. MORE »

If Dick Cheney was capable of regret, he just might be regretting telling Senator Patrick Leahy to “go fuck yourself” in 2004. MORE »

* Hank Paulson carries the budget flag up to the hill, and by the end of the day is looking for an ATM to fully fund every program. [WP]
* President Bush has a sense of Morissettian irony over the Senate’s support of Gen. David Petraeus while opposing the surge. [WP]
* Luckily, Robert Gates has a back-up to the back-up plan. [LAT]
* Thanks to Walnuts, Ill Hill, and Barry Hussein the ‘08 election will likely cost over a billion dollars. [WP]
* MPAA uses actor from West Philadelphia to illustrate their blue-collar base. Patrick Leahy really liked The Queen. [NYT]
* Military wants civilian agencies to “step up” and “get ‘r done” in Iraq. [NYT]
* Which six states want to expand death penalty powers? Exactly the ones you think. [USAT]

In a hilarious mix-up, a Captiol File party photog was at this very moment leading a subcommittee meeting on corporate pensions. (AP) MORE »