Wonkette

What motivates Senator Patrick Leahy? Money? Sex? Sex for money? Public service or whatever? No. No. No. It is Batman, and only the Batman, that gives Pat Leahy the will to live, in Washington. He was briefly seen (but not heard) in the Batman and Robin movie of a few years ago — the one with George Clooney’s chilly nipples. And last August, we reported that Leahy was set for a speaking role in The Dark Knight. See the exclusive & terrifying video, after the jump. MORE »

Ralph Nader may think Hillary Clinton is in with the Corporates, sure, but Ralph is in with Democracy. That’s why he is so disturbed about Obama supporters pressuring her to drop out of the race. He was so shocked, aesthetically, when Sen. Patrick Leahy told her to drop out last week that he wrote a poem for Hillary. It is a beautiful poem, written in free verse. Hell, why stop there? It is actually the most beautiful poem since one of Shakespeare’s many poems. You should read it after the jump, if you have any feelings. MORE »

Vermont Senator Patrick Leahy, an Obama Guy, today called for Hillary Clinton to drop out of the race and support Barack Obama. He is the first major superdelegate to declare this publicly. And earlier this morning, Howard Dean urged the uncommitted superdelegates to make their preferences public. Unless Hillary gets all of the uncommitted superdelegates, and then steals other delegates, she will have officially lost. But does Howard Dean have a plan for the 150,000 Hessian mercenaries that Hillary has employed for her last-resort military coup? [LA Times]

Patrick Leahy has subpoenaed Karl Rove, which means Rove must testify before the Senate Judiciary Committee — but not really, although the Senate and House continue to sort of act like they have some kind of authority over the White House. MORE »

If Dick Cheney was capable of regret, he just might be regretting telling Senator Patrick Leahy to “go fuck yourself” in 2004. MORE »

* Hank Paulson carries the budget flag up to the hill, and by the end of the day is looking for an ATM to fully fund every program. [WP]
* President Bush has a sense of Morissettian irony over the Senate’s support of Gen. David Petraeus while opposing the surge. [WP]
* Luckily, Robert Gates has a back-up to the back-up plan. [LAT]
* Thanks to Walnuts, Ill Hill, and Barry Hussein the ‘08 election will likely cost over a billion dollars. [WP]
* MPAA uses actor from West Philadelphia to illustrate their blue-collar base. Patrick Leahy really liked The Queen. [NYT]
* Military wants civilian agencies to “step up” and “get ‘r done” in Iraq. [NYT]
* Which six states want to expand death penalty powers? Exactly the ones you think. [USAT]

In a hilarious mix-up, a Captiol File party photog was at this very moment leading a subcommittee meeting on corporate pensions. (AP) MORE »

• Heard on the Hill: The Executive Committee of Periodical Correspondents has no love for cameras. . . Anti-immigration group delivers bricks to lawmakers. . . Two Grateful Dead band-members appear for Sen. Patrick Leahy (D-Vt) tonight. [Roll Call]

• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Dick Cheney on Mary Cheney: “She got the writing gene from her mother. I never even finished my dissertation.” [NYDN]
• Inside Politics: Bush is not interested in Gore’s film. [WT]
• Inside the Beltway: Rep. Ted Poe (R-Texas) talks tough on immigration: “We are being invaded, we are being colonized, and there are insurgents from the nation of Mexico and their allies further south.” [WT]
• Reliable Source: National Park Service will now charge for wedding-day photo permits at D.C. landmarks. [WP]

• Reliable Source: The Bushes gave Kenny Chesney special cowboy boots to commemorate his East Room performance. . . Alberto Gonzales says it’s “unclear” whether his parents entered the country illegally. . . Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (R-Calif.) is returning $23,000 to an indicted producer. [WP]
• Under the Dome: James Gandolfini thinks Bush should “reinstate the draft, send 500,000 troops and finish it.”. . . Two members of the Grateful Dead fundraise for Sen. Patrick Leahy (D-Vt.). . . John Edwards and Jack Kemp join forces to encourage people to save for retirement. [The Hill]
• Heard on the Hill: Euan Blair is no longer a Hill intern, and one question lingers: why? [Roll Call]
• Page Six: Former NJ Gov. Jim McGreevey will be on “Oprah” in the fall. [NYP]

Citizens of Wonketteville, fear not. As we promised, your beloved Wonkette Emerita, Ana Marie Cox, will be making regular appearances in these pages. Last week, she liveblogged the SOTU. This week, she drops the science of “Chatology: Digesting the Sunday Spew,” a weekly round-up of the Sunday shows that will typically appear each Monday. (This week’s installment was held up for various technical reasons that we won’t bore you with — oh, and the Super Bowl had something to do with it too.)

And now, without further ado, Ana Marie Cox.

AMC: We worried that this was too late in the day for a recap of the Sunday shows, but, hell, you’re still watching that GoDaddy.com ad, anyway, aren’t you? [Ed. note: This was drafted on Super Bowl Sunday, in case you haven't figured that out.]

This week’s line-up: This Week, Fox News Sunday, The Chris Matthews Show, Meet the Press and Face the Nation.

Guest Ginsburg Rating: Deputy director of national intelligence Michael Hayden gets a 2 out of 4, showing up on both “This Week” and “Fox News Sunday.” Rep. John Boehner ties, guesting on “FNS” and “Meet the Press.”

What Everyone’s Talking About:
1. NSA wiretap program. All the shows hit it except for “Chris Matthews,” but he tapes on Friday afternoon and you know, this hasn’t really been in the news and no one knew the hearings were coming and plus he’s got to have time for his self-indulgent commentary at the end, so he’’s excused.
2. John Boehner’s election as House Republican leader. Again, 4 of 5 shows and again Matthews marching to a different beat.
3. SOTU detritus was hit by everyone but NSA and Boehner got more focus, so we’re dropping its ranking to three.
4. The “cartoon controversy,” which always sounds like it should be about Bill O’Reilly but it’s not. Played on everyone but Matthews (perhaps he doesn’t want to compete with “Hardball”) and “Face the Nation.” (This is the story they all should have led with).

One hit wonders: “This Week” on girls’ self esteem (you go!), “FNS” on the surgeon general, “Chris Matthews” on “Brokeback Mountain” (apparently you can tell a lot about a country by the popular movie it produces), and “Face the Nation” on Nixon and outhouses. No shit.

Quotes to live by: Mehlman says Hillary Clinton “seems to have a lot of anger” (especially around the issue of infidelity); Hayden pleads, “I can’t tell you how much I’d like to go into the operational details of this” (he also can’’t tell us how much he’d like to kill us if he did tell us); Boehner brags, “I have 11 brothers and sisters and my father owned a bar” (and don’t forget those 11 kids can still kick your weedy anchorman ass); Andrew Sullivan pines for “big daddy government” (preferably in leather).

There were no appearances by Joe Biden. Could someone call his house?

Comprehensive, even exhaustive, summary of yesterday’s non-sports-related showboating after the jump.

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