Remember when all the Kennedys were handsome and noble and square of jaw? They still have the jaw thing but everything else about them is crappy and disappointing. Join us as we walk through the Rogue’s Gallery of Remaining Kennedys and reflect on the Death of Camelot, etc. MORE »

Far be it for us to make fun of crazy people who aren’t Michele Bachmann, but it seems that there’s some kind of bicameral kerfuffle going on about just how much mental health coverage insurance carriers should be required to give. The Senate plan, considered more favorable to the insurance industry, is sponsored by Ted Kennedy; the House plan, backed by 60 percent of the members and more favorable to the crazies, is sponsored backed by noted alcoholic/depressed person … Patrick Kennedy. MORE »

* Pat Leahy thinks Karl Rove needs to go under oath. Chuck Schumer thinks it’s “highly unlikely” that Alberto Gonzales will have a job after this week. [NYT]
* David Iglesias was the world’s greatest voter fraud prosecutor before he wasn’t. [WP]
* Carol Lam, on the other hand, got what she deserved for inconveniencing esteemed government officials like Duke Cunningham and Dusty Foggo. [WP, LAT]
* US Military is unprepared to begin new exciting wars. [WP]
* Patrick Kennedy tells Ted Kennedy to, “do it for the crazies dad, do it for me.” [NYT]
* State Department gives North Korea its drug money back. [NYT]
* What’s this “internet primary” all the kids are talking about these days? [WSJ]
* The Smithsonian: still free, thanks to tax-payers like you. [WP] MORE »

Outgoing Roll Call gossip Mary Ann Akers is off to a great new start as the new WashingtonPost.com gossip. Her farewell to Roll Call e-mail charmingly revealed all of her sources, because she put them in the CC spot instead of the BCC spot. (Note to aspiring gossip columnists: BCC means Blind Carbon Copy, which means everybody can’t see everybody else who gets the e-mail.)

And people are furious. One committee aide told The Hill: “It violates your confidentiality …. It’s their private e-mail. People don’t want their e-mail out in public. This whole thing burned the living shit out of me as it revealed me and all the other ‘leakers.’ …. Anyone who is on there, I’m sure they’re pissed.”

Two lawmakers are on the e-mail list: Congressmen Louie Gohmert (R-Texas) and Patrick Kennedy (D-Drunky). If you have this farewell letter from Mary Ann, send it to us at once!

UPDATE! Akers’ official response is after the jump. Due to a hilarious sitcom-style bicoastal mix-up, one of your editors in fact HAD received this email, but ignored it due to the fact that we get emails from people who forget to BCC pretty much daily.

Burning her sources on her way out [The Hill]

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* Heard on the Hill: Both Clintons to host parties for Terry McAuliffe, who wrote a book about bein’ Terry McAuliffe… GOP “spin masters” form crisis management firm in preparation for rain of subpoenas… Trent Lott’s son (a lobbyist) has a CD out. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Bob Erlich was on The Wire, looks “hot” in a state trooper’s uniform. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Boehner speaker Kevin Madden went to Bullfeather’s with Nancy Pelosi’s flacks. Everyone’s totally cool! … LOL: “Fran ‘Nanny’ Drescher was escorted to the Honors on Sunday by Rep. Patrick Kennedy, D-R.I.” [Examiner]

We’ve been wondering just how to cover today’s Times piece on Patrick “Oscar” Kennedy and his sponsor, Jim “Felix” Ramstad all day. Because there are a dozen hilarious pull-quotes in that sucker (”If we could turn Congress into one big A.A. meeting…” “Mr. Ramstad’s hand draped over his colleague’s shoulder…” etc. etc.). Instead of snickering about all the declarations of love, though, we’ll just ask for your best guesses on this apparently sensitive subject: MORE »

• Strategists warn that his stance on treatment of terror suspects might hurt McCain in 2008, the Maverick is unfazed. [WP, LAT]

• False intelligence from Canada led to the abduction and torture of a Muslim-Canadian citizen by the CIA. [WP, NYT]
• Falling gas prices and terror-talk have Bush’s approval rating at 44%, which is a 52-week high. [USAT]
• Al Gore and John Kerry give the speeches about the environment, religion. What year is this? [WP, WP]
• Patrick Kennedy (D-RI) and his AA-sponsor Jim Ramstad (R-MN) say Congressional sobriety, like corruption, is bi-partisan. [NYT]
• Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp. targeting Mel Gibson’s market share with launch of new Christian film studio “FoxFaith.” [LAT]

The Capitol was shut down for an hour today (we would’ve put the siren out, but we were watching Allen and Warner Webb [goddam are we out of it this morning] on Meet the Press — because no, we aren’t waking up early on Sunday to see George Wallace Lite argue with John Knox, Jr.) because, uh, someone ran a car into the barricade and walked in. Yeah, just some guy. Good to know security at the Capitol is still top-notch — you know this shit wouldn’t go down at the White House. MORE »

We just wanted to call a little more attention to this brief portion of today’s “Heard on the Hill:” MORE »

• Heard on the Hill: Patrick Kennedy’s court-ordered treatment includes mandatory weekly urine tests and AA meetings. He’s also considering writing a book about addiction with his sponsor, Representative Jim Ramstad. [Roll Call]
• Under the Dome: The U.S. Capitol Historical Society is going to honor Duke Cunningham, Tom DeLay, others for “hard work, service, time and the sacrifices made in upholding the office with which they were entrusted.” [The Hill]
• Reliable Source: Fat Joe spoke yesterday to the Campus Progress National Student Conference, called women “bitches and hos.” Also, “intelligent, beautiful.” … Al Gore got an Entertainment Weekly cover. [WP]
• Lowdown: Nancy Reagan, like the nation, is still sad that Ronald’s dead. [NYDN]
• Page Six: “Fashion mogul Perry Wolfman” is hosting a fundraiser at his Fire Island mansion for gay marriage opponents Chuck Schumer and Barbara Boxer. [NYP]

The American political elite are enviable in so many ways. Doesn’t everyone wish they had a really good-looking family, like Dick Gephardt’s? Or a culturally sensitive patriarch, like Karl Rove? Perhaps there is more admiration for our great athletes — like Yankees players Mike Mussina and Alex Rodriguez, who both have tons of fans — even if Jeff Gannon isn’t one. In any case, just sit back and have a beer like Tim Russert, or go Patrick Kennedy-style with an iced tea — there’s lots more wonk’d after the jump.

There’s no way that baseball hats and sunglasses can keep any celebs from getting wonk’d by you hardworking tipsters. Once you’ve discovered their charade, email us, with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line (and the name of the “brity” that should have known better). You keep a sendin’, we’ll keep a postin’, and they’ll keep pretendin’ to be surprised when they’re spotted.

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