December 4, 2013
Pat Robertson, the 81-year-old titan of Goddist bombast, has proven that some boxed sacks of two-buck chuck age well if you can wait eight decades and have nothing else to drink, not even water. Robertson experienced a brief tic of normalcy when he came out of the marijuana closet this week, telling the New York [...]
The Pat Robertson teevee show has been desegregated, apparently by force, and now allows a Negress interviewer to interview “her kind” (Condoleezza Rice). What are the mysterious black people up to, this Thanksgiving? The hip-hop? Smokin’ crack? Crunking? Voodoo? Hankering for the Original Constitution days when they were slaves? No, worse. They are eating bizarre [...]
It does not require major political math to figure out that the stark raving lunacy of the GOP base is bound to eventually backfire in a presidential election when American voters are faced with a choice between even a Barack Obama they are extremely “meh” about and some hollering Republican promising to personally bludgeon uninsured [...]
Pat Robertson, the guy you can’t even call a delusional, militantly homophobic, fearmongering warrior of Satan because that description essentially understates the case by several orders of magnitude, has a small clarification to make about Jesus’s stance on traditional marriage. It’s still all “till death do you part” and whatever, but people who have Alzheimer’s [...]
Zombie hate turd Pat Robertson has issued his Official Statement regarding New York’s new gay marriage equality law, and it is not pretty. Is everybody ready? Here it is: history’s immutable cycle of birth and decay and the periodic rise and downfall of each and every human civilization is hereby canceled, because from now on, [...]
DUM DUM DUM DUM DUMMMMMMMM. What advantage does a lesbian have over a married woman? She doesn’t have to seek love from a planet full of dickwad men, that’s right. But what deficiency does she have? She doesn’t have equal rights, correct! Wait, let’s try that again.
Just replace the pot with Jesus dorms! “We did it with video,” Pat Robertson says. Let’s do it with video! All we need to rehabilitate pot smokers is a VHS with some trippy video sequences. Glenn Beck agrees, actually.
Oh man you guys Robert Gibbs called Pat Robertson’s remarks about Haiti/Satan “utterly stupid!” WHAT AN ASSHOLE ROBERT GIBBS IS! Apologize to Pat Robertson and Satan right now! [YouTube]
Pat Robertson’s PR man, Jeebus, has issued a Statement further proving that Pat Robertson is one of the foremost thinkers of our time: “On today’s The 700 Club, during a segment about the devastation, suffering and humanitarian effort that is needed in Haiti, Dr. Robertson also spoke about Haiti’s history. His comments were based on [...]
There being a massive natural disaster killing or hurting thousands or millions of poor people yesterday, Pat Robertson responded naturally this morning, by blaming it on those specific poor people and their worship of Satan — all under the guise of a Disaster Relief Fundraiser.
Too much yakking about whether Sarah Palin is “qualified” or “a dumbass.” Let’s just trust Rush Limbaugh’s expert judgment and move on. [Hot Air] RedState book club! And what are we reading this week? Oh, Jonah Goldberg’s Newberry-Awarding winning throw-up? Delectable. [RedState] The #1 reason the European Union blows is not that it’s a conglomerate [...]
Here’s an interesting wingnut concept: if you claim to be rejecting “political correctness,” then whatever you’re saying must be the truth, as they are opposites. For example: Pat Robertson rejects political correctness w/r/t the Ft. Hood killings. All clear! Therefore the truth must be this: Islam is “not a religion,” but “a violent political system [...]