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Posts Tagged ‘pat robertson’

PAT ROBERTSON’S FEATS OF STRENGTH: THE UNBELIEVERS

Thursday, May 25th, 2006

Some of you doubt Pat. Sure, you think it’s “big” and “cool” to not believe that the holiest most beloved-by-Jesus man in the world is also the strongest. Here’s what a couple emailers had to say:

I am a wrestling coach and longtime weightlifter. The video shows a hip sled loaded with three 45 lb. plates and two of those rubber plates used to make it look like you’re lifting more than you are (deep blue 10, green 25). So I’m guessing 330 lbs, tops; and it’s a HIP SLED, not a squat or a bench press, so yeah, a man of his age and of average vigor who works out regularly could do that. But 2000? Uh-uh.

A few more reactions, after the jump.

MORE »


VIDEO PROOF OF PAT ROBERTSON’S INCREDIBLE STRENGTH

Thursday, May 25th, 2006

PAT ROBERTSON: STRONGEST MAN IN THE WORLD

Wednesday, May 24th, 2006


Did we sound unimpressed when we mentioned earlier that Pat Robertson can leg press 2,000 pounds? If so, we wish to rectify that now: PAT ROBERTSON CAN LEG PRESS 2,000 FUCKING POUNDS! How do we know it’s true? His spokesman told CBS Sportsline: MORE »


Yeah, but Can He Do the Thing With the Ping Pong Balls?

Monday, May 22nd, 2006

Seriously, guys, this is getting ridiculous.
robertsonpress.jpg
With faith! Faith in Jesus Christ our lord! And some sort of protein shake. MORE »


Coulter to Stevens: Drop Dead — Here, Let Me Help

Friday, January 27th, 2006

coulter012706.jpgNo doubt fresh on the heels of a confab with Pat Robertson, toothpick harpie Ann Coulter has made some helpful dietary suggestions for Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens:

“We need somebody to put rat poisoning in Justice Stevens’ creme brulee,” Coulter said. “That’s just a joke, for you in the media.”

The report goes on to note that Coulter “drew more boos when she said the crack cocaine problem ‘has pretty much gone away.’” She clearly hasn’t been to my house. — AMBITIOUS HECKLER MORE »


Pat Robertson Imagines God as a Petty, Clownish Thug

Friday, January 6th, 2006

pat_robertson.JPGWow. We haven’t heard this sort of irrational backlash over a stroke since Fabrizio Moretti got engaged to Drew Barrymore. Deviating wildly from the Christian ethos that nearly universally posits that God is the wisest entity to ever create human free will out of a botched botanical experiment, Pat Robertson said yesterday that Ariel Sharon had his stroke because God was cheesed off at the way he was partitioning “His land.” MORE »


Remainders: Games for Young Conservatives

Tuesday, November 22nd, 2005

Games for young conservatives: Risk/Balderdash. “Risk all as you move with impunity to achieve world domination. Then, make up all kinds of crazy shit afterwards to justify what you did.” [Mr. Sun]
Bradgelina moving to Dupont? [Hollywood Rag, HomeVisit]
Pat Robertson of the Hail Satan Network. [Conspiracy Planet]
It distresses us that someone is using “Gang of 500″ in a completely unironic or sarcastic way. That it is James Carville does not help. [Chronicle of Higher Education]
Jean Schmidt called Jack Murtha a coward on the floor of the House because a Marine asked her to. Only he didn’t. [Cincinnati Enquirer]
“Martin Bashir will not be allowed to wear black leather pants on ‘New Nightline’ when he debuts as one of the ‘Nightline Three’ on Nov. 28.” Whew. [WP]


Pat Robertson, License to Pray to Kill

Thursday, November 10th, 2005

A reader alerts us to news of Pat Robertson’s latest fatwa: Calling down the Almighty exact revenge for the town of Dover, Pa. tossing out the school board who mandated that “intelligent design” (i.e. “magic”) be taught in schools. “I’d like to say to the good citizens of Dover: if there is a disaster in your area, don’t turn to God, you just rejected Him from your city.” Says our reader, “Well, you know, he DOES pray all those hurricanes off course–it only takes a little extra faith to have one level a town full of evolutionists who have the temerity to vote. . .” MORE »


Gossip Roundup: Oil Prices ‘Would Drop Like a Rock’

Monday, September 5th, 2005

Washington Whispers: Hastert may be urged to stay put if Hillary wins ‘08 nomination. . . Some Commerce Department employees complain Gutierrez is pressuring them to participate in the Freedom Walk. . . Trump says that if he could talked to Saudi Arabia about oil, “prices would drop like a rock”. . . California Democrats float idea of a celebrity candidate to defeat Schwarzenegger: Bill Clinton? Magic Johnson? Gavin Newsom? Rob Reiner? [USN&WR]
Inside Politics: Landrieu on “This Week”: “If one person criticizes our sheriffs, or says one more thing, including the president of the United States, he will hear from me. One more word about it after this show airs and I — I might likely have to punch him — literally.”. . . 44% blame Bush in ABC/WP poll. [WT]
Inside the Beltway: Rehnquist liked his anonymity. [WT]
Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: FEMA site encourages donations to Pat Robertson’s Operation Blessing. [NYDN]
Page Six: Streisand requested to be on the same floor as Clinton when they stay at the New York Sheraton. [NYP]


Inside the Bubble: No Nostalgia Edition

Friday, August 26th, 2005

Sports writer does not miss balls. [WCP]
Air America does not miss former chairman. [NYS]
Brian Williams does not miss his therapist. [NYT]
Bill Hemmer does not miss CNN. [CincyPost]
People Jesus would not miss. [HuffPo]


Pat Robertson Asks God for Commandment Exemption

Tuesday, August 23rd, 2005

Sfw But God's NotWay to hustle, Pat Robertson, keeping evangelical Christianity interesting! As you may know, Pat recently called for someone to assassinate Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez. A controversial move, to be sure, but we had no idea that Christianity was like some massive multiplayer game where someone could just take people out. (That’s what he said: ”We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability.”) Sure, Robertson has called for God to empty a couple of benches on the Supreme Court, but, generously, that could just mean asking God to make them sick, or asking God to give their spouse a terminal illness so they’d have to retire. Assassination, though? Hottt. Is there a plug-in that allows you to fuck? Better hope Hillary doesn’t try to ban it. MORE »