pat robertson

Sure, there’s your Glenn Becks and your Alex Joneses, but let’s never discount the pure joy of good old-fashioned batshit fundagelical craziness, and by that, we mean Pat Robertson, who 700 Clubbed us Tuesday with the news that any moment now, God may unleash the End of Days by sucker-punching the planet Earth with a […]

In lieu of a Derp Roundup this week, we bring you a special weekend edition of Dear Shitferbrains, leading off with this very important observation from “bmmg39″ in response to our Clipbait piece about Sarah Palin’s appearance in a sketch on The Tonight Show. We’d said that it wasn’t terrible, that she had one good […]

Well, folks, it’s Thursday, so we’ve got yet another Sign of the End Times. This time, Pat Robertson has discovered that electronic payments are the Mark of the Beast. We always thought it was UPC codes, but apparently, no, it’s electronic banking, and maybe also RFID chips, and for all we know, probably immigration reform […]

Pat Robertson just enjoys being Pat Robertson, and he doesn’t care who knows it. And by golly, he sure does admire how people of the Hebrew persuasion are so darn good at making money — it really is something to be admired, not a shameful stereotype. And so it makes perfect sense that he’d have […]

Someday, Pat Robertson will shuffle off this mortal coil, and then we will have approximately 30% less things to blog about, because the man is a perpetual motion machine of gay-bashing and devil-invoking, usually all at once. Today is no exception, as Robertson explains that Jesus probably didn’t love homosexuals on account of how he’d […]

You knew it would happen. We’ve now got so much right-wing religious nonsense that we’re having to double up, because otherwise we’ll have to write 50 posts a day of this stuff. But only one complete evangelical nutter can win! Who have we got for you today? In this corner, perennial favorite Pat Robertson, who […]

So apparently back on Wednesday there was a massive power surge that knocked out power to the US Capitol for 30 minutes or so, thanks to apocalypse-level winds of 47 miles per hour. It wasn’t just the Capitol either, as thousands across the region were affected too. Now, if you are a normal person, your […]

Pat Robertson is at it again, sharing the best possible Christian-y relationship advice out there. Like this viewer mail from “Jennifer,” who wants to know if it’s OK for her “close friend” — sure, Jennifer, suuuuuure — to marry a first cousin, because they are very much in love and feel like God has brought […]

It’s almost as if Pat Robertson knows exactly what he’s doing, even as you’re sure he’s clueless. Case in point: On Monday, a caller to the 700 Fight Club teevee program asked what to do about a question that he has been sitting on, quite uncomfortably, for some time: “Before I met my wife, I […]

Pat Robertson is slowing down; in the old days, he used to turn hurricanes away from the East coast; now, he focuses on more attainable goals, like telling a nice Christian lady to be polite to her lesbian friend, but not to invite her into her home, because you don’t want to run the risk […]

You know when someone is a Men’s Rights Activist, or when someone is Ted Yoho, and they are all up in Rosa Parks’s business claiming the mantle of Civil Rights and Rosa Parksiness for their very anti-Rosa Parks goals? It is sort of like NRA people who invoke Gandhi in their push to arm six-year-olds. […]

Hey ladies, how are you screwing up your children today? Are you smothering them? You are probably smothering them. Are you neglecting them, with your whoring at your “job”? You are probably doing that too. Are you turning them all into little homicidal maniacs, with, we dunno, welfare fraud? OF COURSE YOU ARE, DON’T BE […]

You are probably just as surprised as we are to learn that a new documentary film details how Pat Robertson ran a fake charity following the 1994 Rwandan genocide — which is to say, not the least bit surprised. The film, Mission Congo, by Lara Zizic and David Turner, premieres today at the Toronto International […]

Oh, Pat Robertson. After giving us a confusing nice time about sex change operations, you had to go out and open your foul, putrid assface talkhole. We’re thankful to the folks at RightWingWatch for enlightening us about the wise words of St. Robertson of Dumbfuckville: Pat Robertson told co-host Terry Meeuwsen that gay men in […]

Huh. We did not see this coming. We are … we are at a bit of a loss, in fact. We are looking out the window and not seeing flying pigs, nor have we seen any reports on the Twitters about a severe temperature drop in hell. We just do not know what to make […]