Wonkette

11:41 — DeWine reminds us of a suburban bank branch manager. He talks kinda like Jimmy Stewart, though. He is reading his History Day presentation on “The CIA.”

“Do you agree that we need to be more creative and risk-taking?” Oy, this is bullshit.

“The culture of the Agency was such that this baby will be strangled in the crib.” We forgot what he’s talking about, but that’s a really creepy metaphor.

The Jimmy Stewart thing is bugging us. “In th-th-that light, lemme ask you a question… uhhhhh…. ehhhh…. Ah-ah-ah… are you gonna shut down the Savings and Loan?”

We’ve considered turning this off and putting in The Philadelphia Story.

11:32 — Levin: Will you be nice to detainees? How bout that Geneva Convention?
Hayden: Uh… not really.
Levin: Convention against torture?
Hayden: Detainee Treatment Act.
Levin: Yeah, but that’s for the DoD. Not the CIA.
Hayden: So it is, yes.
Levin: Well, my time’s up.

11:29 — Hayden: “I was uncomfortable.” W/ DoD’s personal intelligence analysis study group and their Al-Qaeda-Iraq link. Which leads to “I got three great kids.”

Holy shit he just threatened to build up a dossier on his KIDS! HE WILL PROVE CONCLUSIVELY A HAYDEN’S KIDS-SADDAM HUSSEIN LINK.

Levin: Will you describe the difference between the bad way to do things and the way you will do things? Hayden: “18 years of Catholic education, I know a lot about deductive reasoning.”

“What happens when induction meets deduction, Senator?” Two great tastes that taste great together.

Levin: Did you have a disagreement with the Defense Secretary? By the way, you’re wearing a uniform.
Hayden: DoD put my testimony on their website. NSA didn’t. “My solution was something like the founding fathers’.” Own slaves, shoot English people, fight Indians. Right?

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10:16 — VERY SHORT RECESS. Wow, that was exciting. Check back for more, once the actual questioning starts. MORE »

* Oh, the fun we have! Chris Matthews’ friends laughed at Kim Eisler, then Wonkette’s friends laughed at Chris Matthews’ stationery.
* But no one laughed at Jack Kingston’s attempt to cop some street cred.
* Ports, Ports, Ports.
* Having saved David Gregory’s job, we are expecting to be the next recipient of one of his giggly drunk international calls. It’s only fair, Dave.
* We witnessed the all-too-soon end of Take Your Legislator To Lunch day. To everyone’s disappointment.
* Wolf met Jack, and it looks like we made it through the post without a Brokeback Mountain joke! Good work all, drinks all around.
* We called Pat Roberts, and he didn’t seem particularly happy to hear from us. Sometimes we just think funny things…
* They may not be able to convince the International Community that they’re a responsible governing body, but Hamas has convinced 10-year-old girls across the world that martyrs are totally cute.
* Ex-prostitute Tom Malin is not an ex-gay ex-prostitute. He is also, unfortunately, not a Texas State Representative.
* We got drunk at the Press Club! With bloggers! Which son do you think Mrs. Reed is prouder of: Lou, or the one who edits that libertarian magazine?
* Is the military censoring Wonkette? Not exactly, unless you have a pretty liberal definition of “censoring.” But someone doesn’t like us, that’s for sure.
* The State Department is, apparently, a hotbed of bitchy gossip and infighting. Obviously, we’ll be much more interested in it from here on out. U.S. Ambassador to Sudan: “Where’s your prophet now?”
* Is it just us, or were there like fifty identical poll results released this week that were all treated as breaking news? Anyway, we just liked the ones that came with graphics.

As you may have heard in our Morning Roundup, the seven member subgroup of the Senate Intelligence Committee received their first White House briefing on the Bush’s domestic wiretapping nonsense. The Washington Post article on the briefing contained one section that immediately gave us a case of the WTFs.

Members of the Senate subcommittee — which, along with Roberts and Rockefeller, includes Republicans Mike DeWine (Ohio), Orrin G. Hatch (Utah) and Christopher S. Bond (Mo.) and Democrats Carl M. Levin (Mich.) and Dianne Feinstein (Calif.) — will not be able to share what they learn with the other eight members of the intelligence panel, according to rules the White House has proposed.

That is the foofiest fucking idea we’ve ever heard! How can a debate about intelligence priorities take place if the entire committee isn’t on an equal footing? Are the non-committee members going to have to sit in smaller chairs, too?

Here is how we imagine the future of the Senate Intelligence Committee:

[sorry, only super special Wonketteers can read after the jump]

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As you know, yesterday, the Senate Intelligence Committee voted along party lines to reject a motion by Senator Rockefeller to hold hearings on President Bush’s warrantless domestic wiretapping program. Elsewhere, the wheels are turning in the halls of Congress to hastily grant the President after-the-fact power to continue to wiretap Americans without oversight from any legal authority.

We know that here at Wonkette, we’re often tagged as snarky complainers who contribute little more than irrelevant mirthmaking. And we’ve been a little critical of this eavesdropping program in the past. But for once, we thought to ourselves: “Why, Wonkette, why? Why not embrace the administration’s unique vision? Why do we always have to tear down the efforts of our elected officials? Why not rise to the spirit of the occasion, and set an example for others to follow?”

Needless to say, we started feeling really good about ourselves. And so, we decided to call the offices of Senator Pat Roberts.

(Our conversation after the jump.)

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* Administration requests $72.4b for operations in Iraq and Afghanistan plus $19.8b for the Gulf Coast. [NYT, W$J, WT]
* Senate, under pressure from the administration, will not investigate NSA eavesdropping; House inquiry moves forward. [WP, NYT, LAT]
* Bush has no problem with handling of Cheney’s hunting accident: “This is a man who likes the outdoors, and he likes to hunt. . . I’m satisfied with the explanation he gave.” [NYT, USAT]
* Texas police close their investigation of hunting accident without making criminal charges. [WP]
* Sen. Arlen Specter (R-Pa.) denies wrongdoing in new lobbying scandal but asks for ethics investigation. [WP, NYT, USAT]
* Is Cheney more of a liability for Republicans than an asset? [W$J]

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• Approval of Bush rests at 36% in Newsweek poll: most Americans are pessimistic about the direction of the country and do not believe Bush can be effective; 65% disapprove of his handling of Iraq; and the Republican “base seems to be cracking.” [Newsweek]
• Alito, in 1985, wrote that he believes “very strongly” that “the Constitution does not protect a right to an abortion.” [WT]
• Coalition of liberal groups including Naral, Planned Parenthood, the AFL-CIO, the Sierra Club, and the NAACP are set to launch an anti-Alito television campaign; line of attack will expand beyond abortion. [NYT]
• Pat Roberts (R-Kan.) says senators have learned to be critical of intelligence findings before approving military action: “We don’t accept this intelligence at face value anymore.” [WP]
• Brownstein says the GOP “has tilted its agenda so heavily to the demands of its conservative base that moderates feel alienated. Over the next year, the choice for Republicans is whether to adapt to that evidence.” Democrats, meanwhile, must “coalesce behind comprehensive solutions to the problems most concerning the country.” [LAT]
• Bush leaves today on four-day trip to Asia. [USAT]
• Time magazine names Mike Huckabee, Mark Warner, Kenny Guinn, Janet Napolitano, and Kathleen Seblius as the country’s top governors. [Time]
• With close ties to Bush loyalists, “Progress for America often functions like an unofficial extension of the White House, advancing the president’s policies alongside the Republican National Committee.” [NYT]

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• Approval of Bush slips to 37%, a new low in WSJ/NBC polling; 79% believe the leak investigation is “a serious matter” and a majority say Bush “deliberately misled people” to war. [WSJ]
• House Republicans scrap ANWR drilling to ensure passage of budget. Schumer: “If you are a moderate Republican, you are starting to say, ‘I am not going to follow George Bush over the cliff.’” [WP, NYT]
• Republicans fear implications of Tuesday’s elections; Democrats have their own lessons to learn. Pollster: “The waning of enthusiasm for Bush and his presidency is national.” [LAT, WP, WT]
• Senators press top oil executives about their profits; “if the hearing had an air of the theater, the public resentment articulated by the senators was real.” Milbank: “[I]nstead of calling oil executives on the carpet yesterday, senators gave them the red-carpet treatment.” [WP, NYT, WSJ, USAT, WT]
• Bush splits with Republicans over ban of abusive treatment of detainees. [USAT]
• Judith Miller leaves The New York Times. [WP, WP, NYT]
• Chalabi denies misleading the U.S. and offers to testify before Congress. [USAT, WP]
• Senate Judiciary Committee considers televising Supreme Court proceedings. [LAT]

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• Reliable Source: Angelina Jolie proves a distraction at Capitol Hill conference on HIV/AIDS. Richard Branson also testifies: “If this were the U.S., there would be a war room set up.”. . . Lynne Cheney visits and revisits Pottery Barn. . . Connie Mack (R-Fl.) is divorcing. [WP]
• Under the Dome: Five Hall of Fame baseball players dragged out to talk about steroid legislation. . . Letter from two Democrat lawmakers regarding Plan B may have influenced FDA commissioner to resign. . . John Dingell (D-Mich.), Mark Foley (R-Fla.), Pat Roberts, ABC’s John Cochran, Howard Fineman, Matt Cooper, and Ben Bradlee attend screening of “Flightplan” hosted by Dan Glickman. [The Hill]
• Inside the Beltway: Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agents found themselves hounded for ice by confused hurricane victims. [WT]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Gloria Steinem says ‘08 is too soon for Hillary. [NYDN]
• Rush & Molloy: Ari Fleischer is working for Bud Selig. [NYDN]