Wonkette

It’s a fey and foppish week in Wonk’d with John Kerry eating organic, Pat Buchanan feeling ladylike, Dennis Kucinich running down the dream, Christopher Hitchens, uh, drinking, and wittle Kenny Mehlman walking off his lunch. All these dandies, plus a whiff of the week’s biggest asshole’s asshole.

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Did you know that The McLaughlin Group is still on the air? It is, broadcasting live each week direct from 1986. Last Sunday’s was apparently insane. We didn’t catch it, but HuffPo’s Rachel Sklar, Pat Buchanan fetishist, did, and she’s posted the video. MORE »

Ok, Pat Buchanan is, these days, completely irrelevant. And he’s so old and crazy that making fun of him is easy pickings. And, frankly, he’s been crazier. But at some point last night he transformed into Dennis Hopper in Apocalypse Now, and it’s comedy brilliance. MORE »

* Alice Walker at Politics & Prose. 7PM. [P&P]
* Beaujolais Nouveau Party at Les Halles: “You’ll get free wine (from a French producer to be named), free tripe (mmm .. stomach lining), and dancing, beginning at 9, and the wine flows at midnight. Early arrival is suggested.” [WP]
* The Press Club book fair with Pat Buchanan, Sen. Byron Dorgan, Helen Thomas and Ben Barnes, etc. Proceeds benefit the National Press Club’s Friedheim Library. $5 at 6PM. [National Press Club]
* G.W. law Feminist Forum hosts the 2nd Annual FEMAPALOOZA at DC9. $8. [DC9]

• Reliable Source: Rep. Jim Moran lost 46 pounds and won reelection… The Ritz-Carlton has created a drink for our departing SecDef: The “Rum Rummy Rum,” made from three ounces rum, one ounce Grand Marnier, sour mix, ginger ale, and psychopathy. [WP]
• Yeas and Nays: No one got any sleep Tuesday night. Chuck Todd stayed up all night — dude, hook us up… Democrats also now best golfers on the Hill… Pat Buchanan regaled Nathans with the story of being duped by Ali G. [Examiner]

Hey, Washington! Wanna harasss meet Pat Buchanan? A little birdy tells us he’ll be at Nathans in Georgetown at 12:30, talking about his hilarious new comedy best-seller, State of Emergency: The Buchanan Family’s Favorite Chili Recipes. MORE »

Pat Buchanan, in full-on raging Old Testament mode, is not going to let the actions of one flamer distract from the real issue at hand, which is that the Democrats are all a bunch of flamers who have gay sex with little flamer kids. MORE »

Joining fellow ’70s nostalgia acts Neil Young, John Dean, the John Birch Society and the Berkeley City Council, former Nixon propagandist Pat Buchanan and inflatable-pig showman Roger Waters are calling for the impeachment of George W. Bush. MORE »

Tony Blankley supports the Danes, hopes they stay in Denmark.

Breathless update! Tony Blankley writes in to set the record straight — unlike those other immigrants, Tony was pronounced A-OK by Uncle Sam!

You correctly cite my opposition to illegal immigration, but chastise me for not then deporting myself back to England–from whence I came. Your error, pardonable though it may be, is to assume I am an illegal immigrant. Otherwise, of course, your entire comment would be demagoguery of the rankest order–which heaven forfend it surely couldn’t be.

We point out only that Mr. Buchanan seeks a much tighter quota even on so-called “legal” immigration, and he surely would warn us of the dangers to our shared Euro-Xtian-Caucasian culture posed by this tea-drinking, chimbley-sweeping, bespoke-suited terror.

Blankley’s full, charming, Katherine Harris-referencing email, after the jump. Read it aloud in your best James Mason impression!

Significantly less breathless update: Eric Pfeiffer writes in to assure us that he is decidedly not an “all-around nice guy.” Don’t you people have a money-losing paper to put out?

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Did you hear? Pat Buchanan has a new book out. It’s called “State of Emergency: Your Children Will Eat Only Tamales and Sing ‘La Cucaracha’ All Day While Learning About Godless Pagan Aztecs and Worshiping Pancho Villa and It’s All Your Fault.” In case you hadn’t heard, the Washington Times has been kind enough to run not one, but two high-profile pieces on this important new piece of fear-mongering. MORE »